Just as an update to the last entry? I hugged and kissed on Rosco for the rest of the night. Until I was so tired I had to put him in the bathroom and lay down in my bed (with a backup comforter). But I gave him a bunch of beach towels to curl up in and told him I didnt mind if he peed on ANY of them. And when his mom came home? I kissed him good bye and loved him some more. See? I’m nice again…hehe. And LilZoot? I loved on him some too - and apologized for not caring about the pee on his arm. And then? I tickled him for an hour. Its all good now…I’m not going to hell anymore.

Well…not for the Puppy Yelling anyway….*evil grin* BWAH HAHAHAH!

1. What is the “theme” on your calendar this year? My wall calendar is Georgio O’Keefe, my desk calendar has antique maps.
2. Do you read the newspaper every day? Nope. I get my news from Fark.
3. What kind of shoes are you wearing right now? High healed clogs with a butterfly shaped leather strap.
4. What magazines do you subscribe too? Me only? Entertainment Weekly, Shape, and Real Simple. But my hubby and son have subscriptions too, to various Golf mags, and Disney/Nickelodeon ‘zines.
5. What is your favorite condiment? Salt. Salt. and more Salt.
6. What was the first occupation you remember wanting to have? I wanted to be an architect. That’s the first I remember anyway.
7. Are you a green thumb? Hell no. I killed an ALOE plant. Does that tell you enough?
8. Did you have an imaginary friend when you were little? Yes. Susie. I had to potty-train her. That’s about all I remember.
9. Do you floss regularly? No, but dont tell my dentist, I lie to him.
10. If you could still hang posters of celebrities on your walls and get away with it like when you were 12, who would be on your walls right now? Adam Brody. Peter Gallagher. Keifer Sutherland. Angelina Jolie.
11. Do you keep shoe boxes or throw them away? I kept them until I had more than I could use, now I throw them away
12. Would you be embarassed if someone looked under your bed? Um. No - I dont think so. I think the only thing under there are old signs my hubby used to have hanging on the walls of his bachelor pad.

13. If you could be one character in book, who would you be? Harry Potter, of course. Well - scratch that, his life kinda sucks if you think about it, I’d be Hermione.
14. What do you sleep in? My bed, duh. No - I know what you mean - what do I WEAR to bed. Um - pajama pants and a tank top. I cant sleep in sleeves, they freak me out.
15. What is your favorite word? Quintessential. But I dont know how to use it, or spell it.

I yelled at a puppy tonight. In front of my son. I am a horrible horrible Mother. This puppy? Rosco - my neighbor’s dog who visits us? He’s the cutest thing ever. He’s sweet, he’s smart, he doesnt bite me, and I yelled at him. In front of my son. I think LilZoot is filing emancipation papers right now on the grounds that I’m a “Yeller at Puppies”.

Oh. But it gets worse. Not only did I yell at the puppy. The cute, adorable, sweet puppy who kinda peed all over my new comforter. Not only did I yell at the cutie-pie in front of LilZoot, but when LilZoot freaked out because Rosco also peed on his arm? I said “Who cares - its just pee on your arm, which you can WASH. Just go WASH it. My comforter can NOT be washed in the sink like your arm can”.

I am evil. I actually trivialized URINE on my son’s ARM because my comforter had pee on it too. Somehow? In my psychotic hormonal brain? The pee on the comforter was much more repulsive than the pee on the arm that developed in my WOMB for Christ’s sake.

It serves me right that I later busted my ass while taking the garbage out to the dumpster. I have a feeling I’ll be working off the bad Karma (Dharma?) I earned tonight for a long time. The bad Karma (Dharma?) I earned while YELLING at a PUPPY and IGNORING the URINE on my son’s arm. Then, eventually I’ll die, and I’ll have to spend eternity in the spot in hell reserved for people who yell at puppies. Which luckily, is next to the spot reserved for mothers who ignore dog piss on their son’s arm. I am so mean. Mean Mean Mean MsZoot.

What was your progression to the world of adult alcohol consumption? Since I was a mother to a 3yr old by the time I turned 21, I really didn’t experience a lot of the “drinking milestones” that most people, namely college students, did. You know - the silly things you take for granted, like when you were 20 and got invited to a Frat Party where there will be *gasp* BEER *gasp*. I never did a Keg Stand (I still don’t understand what that is). I’ve not “shotgunned” a beer.

Now that I am a working member of society (as opposed to the college student I was for 7 years) I am a tad scared of the world of alcohol. People my age know what a martini is. (I’ve not ever had one). Most people I know actually HAVE a grown-up drink of choice. “Martini. Dirty” or “White Zin” or “Scotch. On the Rocks”. I don’t even know what a lot of drinks even ARE. The most grown-up drinks I have ever ordered on a regular basis were coffee drinks. “Kahlua and Coffee, please” or “Bailey’s and Coffee”.

Well, like any woman of the legal drinking age, I HAD to try a cosmopolitan after watching the show “Sex in the City”. I loved it. I am pretty sure it is now my “grown up” drink of choice. But - I didnt even know what one had in it - until yesterday. I bought IrishChic a drink making kit for her birthday. So, I looked at the recipe for a Cosmopolitan, and went to the liquor store on the way to Irish Chic’s to buy the ingredients. OOH. It was ugly.

1. Vodka? There are a MILLION kinds. Did you know that? The hell? I settled for Smirnoff with a Raspberry Twist. It seemed like a good choice. It was priced somewhere in the middle of the rest of the stuff, so I thought it was safe. CHECK.

2. Triple Sec? What IS that? The hell? I thought it might be that red stuff they put in Shirley Temples (shut up. I know thats wrong. NOW). So I wandered around aimlessly for ten minutes. MrZ was no help. He drinks Beer. Thats it. Now he knows his beer - but liquors? No Help. Although it was his idea to finally breakdown and ask the people behind the counter. (If they WEREN’T going to card us already, they sure were going to after that). Well, Triple Sec? Behind. The. Counter. OOOOH. I don’t know what that means? But it definitely told me it was NOT one of the ingredients in a Shirley Temple. CHECK.

3. Lime Juice? Okay. This liquor store didn’t have any. Limes? yes. Juices? yes. Lime Juice? no. Oh well. No Check.

4. Cranberry Juice? Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. I know that one! I know what that is! CHECK.

So, ingredients in hand. Gifts in hand. (Groovy martini glasses to go with the groovy drink mixing kit). We head to IrishChics house. And I? Made my FIRST Cosmopolitan. I substituted Cranberry Juice for the Lime Juice, at the recommendation of Irish Chic, and BAM. There it was, in all its alcoholic glory. But, my inexperience is VERY evident in the pictures as I hold my glass with TWO Hands. Jeez. Good thing I’m married because I have a feeling if I were trying to pick up guys in a bar holding my glass like that? I’d be out of luck. But - I made it myself. Yeah Me. oh. and Yummy too. It was good.

I still don’t know what the hell Triple Sec is though.