So - MrZ has been taking me to work for the last three weeks. We work very close to each other - so its not a big deal at all. It’s also given us some “new” time to visit, which we need with all the chaos our lives tend contain. Unfortunately - there is one huge down side of the situation. Expressed in three words.

Sports Talk Radio

And those three words are going to be the downfall of me. I mean -Yes - I am a TN Vol fan, and a mild sports girl, more so than most women are. (Not as much as my Mom (Hi Mom!) who can totally hold her own talking sports with MrZoot and NO other person has ever been able to match him tit for tat in sports talk.) But this 20 minutes twice a day is ripping all of the life out of me. I do nothing more now than mumble the batting averages for the Braves line-up. Or I twitch violently when the waitress asks if I would like my beer in the bottle or DRAFT, twitch and say “Huh? DRAFT? The Chargers will trade Manning, they will, just watch…” I am acting shocked over the NHL scandal and chatting about it to the gas station attendant.

Kill me now. Before I make the complete transformation, because If I become full fledged Sports Chic? I wont have ANYTHING to bitch at my husband for. And I need that…

Okay then - I’ll play too. but in REVERSE, because I like to be different.
TEN “Indigo Girls” albums in my collection.
NINE cases of diet vanilla coke sitting under my bar.
EIGHT bags of chicken breasts that I cook per week.
SEVEN peircings in my left ear.
SIX pairs of Saucony tennis shoes in my house.
FIVE days since I’ve talked to my brother.
FOUR years that I’ve been with MrZoot.
THREE tatoos.
TWO Boston Terriers, and TWO cats.
ONE beautifully perfect son.

• Sometimes? No matter HOW hard I try, I still can NOT make it thru an entire week without ruining an item of clothing with a spill.
• Photo Questionares? Are the best. Go see mine. Then go make one like Feisty, Oliquig, and Amy all are.
• I am waging a war in my apartment complex. A war to fight for Poopy Bags. Its such a saga? I created a JOURNAL where I could write my Longer, but JUST AS HILARIOUS entries. Then I wrote the first entry about The War for the PoopyBags. Will you Join my Battle for clean grass everywhere?
• America hates me. They mock my obsession with American Idol by leaving in the most craptastic of performers while voting OFF the decent contestants.
• I dont watch “Alias”. But, I think that the Movie “13 going on 30″ looks HI-LAR-I-OUS. Is she that funny on “Alias”, because girl is insanely hysterical on the previews for that movie. Especially when she’s hitting on the 12 year old boy.
• I am so freakin’ sick of the Survivor Contestants who have an unquenchable sense of entitlement. Shi’Ann? Kathy? Lex? All of you but Boston Rob? And Ambah? Can hush. And MrZoot doesnt agree with me either - so its okay if you dont. I’ll still love you - but you’ll need to shut up too.
• Next week’s episode of “The O.C.” looks BRILLIANT. If you arent watching that show? WHY not? I mean - Adam Brody AND Peter Gallagher. Enough said.
• It is NOT a good time to be a Peyton Manning fan, because everyone ASSUMES you care about whether or not his brother ends up with the Chargers during the NFL draft. I like Peyton because he played for Tennessee. Eli? Didnt. So I dont care
• I found out one of our neighbors has children. Children who have NEVER EVER come out to play with the rest of the kids in the neighborhood. For some reason, I take this personally. To me? The mother is in her apartment saying “Hell NO you can not go outside to play with the kids. I dont trust that Zoot-woman”
• LilZoot and I are going to see Maroon 5 in concert in 2 weeks. My BFF Stace bought us our tickets yesterday. I love her so. But not as much as I love Maroon 5, sorry girl. LilZoot is so excited. He hasnt been to a REAL concert since Indigo Girls, in 2000. He keeps saying “Mom - you took me to concerts when I was a baby, why won’t you take me to them now?” Because the price of concert tickets has become ridiculous in the last 5yrs. Our tickets for next week were 15 dollars. But, to see Maroon 5 open for John Mayr? 75 Dollars. For seats in the LAWN. If we wanted actual seats? 125. Can you believe that? If we wanted front row? 250. And this was in Birmingham, Alabama! I paid 40 dollars to see Pink Floyd there- Division Bell tour -1994. Geez.
• Lauren and Amalah have missed their calling. Their stretch of Bold and Blogilicious videos yesterday? Were Awesomely funny.
• MrZoot takes his Haikus VERY seriously. He worked very hard on his few entries yesterday. Then? He spent the entire night telling friends and family about his BRILLIANT Haikus. He even requested a “MrZoot Awards Section” on my blog JUST IN CASE he happens to win one week. Also? Mindy was rockin’ the Haikus all night last night. How did we make it thru the other weeks without her?

I mean, SERIOUSLY. Jennifer Hudson got the fewest votes? Are you insane? Is this all a big joke? You voted well last week, eventhough it meant losing my sweent JPL, but JENNIFER? You voted for John, and Diane, and Jasmine BEFORE you voted for Jennifer, LaToya, AND Fantasia? Freaks. All of you. I hate you all.

Also? That little prank Ryan Seacrest pulled by telling George to stand with the top group, but not TELL him which the top group was? Great way to increase the shock factor. Poor George though - he looked terrified.

ALSO - go write a HAIKU! It’s Thursday!

If you don’t, then you did not learn last night that CTU (Counter Terrorist Unit) has a hair and make-up crew. Seriously. When the CTU Agents were discussing the next operation - one of them actually said “She’ll be turned over to hair and makeup after we land”. So, when one of the CTU Agents has to be a stand-in for a woman they are kidnapping for information - what do they do? Call in their Hair and Make-Up task force, of course!

Do you think they do weapons training at Vidal Sasoon’s School? And are those Agents trained to do Highlights and Waxings too? Do they have a handgun and silencer packed next to the mousse and mascara? I’m so confused. I mean - who applies for those job openings? And more importantly, does CTU use AVEDA products?