First things first: I just met MrX and LilZoot at a gas station to say goodbye and send him with his trunk and pillow to his summer camp until Friday. So - my question to you all is - how mortified do you think he was that I started bawling right there in the Conoco Parking Lot mumbling through tears things like
“I’m going to miss you SO much”
“I love you more than anything”
“Please don’t leave me”
“GIVE ME A BIGGER HUG I’M NOT GOING TO SEE YOU FOR FOUR DAYS-DAMMIT!!!”
Do you think that embarassment will wear off by Friday or should I make sure to be bringing gifts when I go to pick him up?
Okay - the update on the “break-in”. We’ve been trying to figure out exactly what happened, and now that we kinda know - and I’m not sure what to do about it.
My immediate neighbor, RayRay, is six. She is my angel and MrZoot and I worship the ground she walks on. When we came home last night from dinner - her Mom (Dee - one of my nearest and dearest friends) told me RayRay had something she needed to tell me. RayRay immediately burst into tears and hysterically rambled the following:
“Ms. Zoot - I love you but I have something to tell you. K and I went in your house while you were gone…sob sob cry cry…my brain wasnt working…I dont know why…cry cry…I’m so sorry…sob sob…I wont EVER do it again…cry cry.” and so on. Since she’s six, and she was very worried we were going to be mad at her, it took us awhile to figure out what had happened.
Quick background: K is 13/14 and lives in #5 with her two sisters (all teenagers) and her mom. The SAME Mom who hates me because I yelled at her daughters punk friend for beating up my son. That boy was 14/15, my son is NINE. I was so out of line. Anyway - I’ve been trying to be nice to the daughters because my son hangs out with them and I want them to know I dont have a problem with THEM, just with that boy.
Anyway - evidently, RayRay opened our back door by accident (we forgot to lock it, and its right next to hers, so she thought she was going into her own house) and then remembered we werent home and shut it. At THAT point, K (the 13/14yr old) encouraged RayRay to go inside with her. They went inside and upstairs. Then - they saw one of our dogs and freaked and ran out. Dee heard them leave MY house and realized what had happened and immediately got onto her daughter RayRay while K promptly disappeared.
So - they were IN our house. Evidently only for a minute, but still. We dont know what we should do with the K girl. We’ve talked to RayRay - she feels really bad and was scared we would hate her (yeah - like THAT would ever happen. I felt like buying her all sorts of stuff just to make her happy again…I’m such a pushover).
But this K girl… Her Mom has already proven herself to be unreasonable since she couldnt even handle me getting onto her daughter’s FRIENDS, so there’s no point in talking to her. Its too late to call the police (isnt it?) and we dont want to get RayRay in any more trouble, she’s been punished enough. Should we approach K? Should I not allow LilZ to hang with them when he gets back? Should we speak to the landlord? What would you all do? Well - besides sticking tampons in their moms gas tank of course…
Geez, I have no advice re: the breakin. But you do have me feeling quite glad that my oldest is only three and therefore too young to be pulling shit like that. For now, at least, the extent of his crimes is pulling a chair across the kitchen, managing to get into the latched cupboard, and stealing a couple of cookies.
As far as the dropoff embarassment, I think you’re good. If this happened at camp in front of other campers, it would be grounds for mortification, but it sounds like you were on neutral territory.
Wow, that sucks. I’d suggest going to the landlord, but before you do that you should probably try to talk to the mom again. That’s not likely to help, seeing as she already hates you because she’s an idiot, but at least you’ll get the joy of knowing that you tried to settle things with her before going over her head.
I would mention it to the mother and totally not let LilZ play with K.
BAD BAD news that one is!
I bawled like a toddler when my son (then 7!) left for Germany for 16 days! I kept trying to think of ways to change my answer to NO YOU CANNOT GO TO EUROPE WITHOUT ME!
LilZ totally will need gifts!
I’d say go speak with the mom- keep your cool and tell her that you will be going to the landlord after you speak with her, and that if anything like this ever happens again, you will have her daughter arrested for breaking and entering. Then go tell the landlord what happened. As the older child the K girl should have known better, and set a better example for Ray-Ray.
if K can corrupt RayRay, then i would not be taking any chances with lil! especially since K apparently is not getting disciplined at home! i think she needs to be spoken to, unfortunately - and are you sure nothing’s missing?
Wow. Um, hmm. Where to start. Gifts for LilZ, hell yes.
As for the “break-in”… there was no breaking. Your door was unlocked. What exactly would you say to the landlord? “I left my door unlocked and someone came in! Make it stop!”? At worst she was trespassing. And yeah, K’s bad news, I’d keep LilZ faaaar away from her. But given your experience with her mom, I’m guessing her mom isn’t going to care in the slightest and will ridicule you for not locking your door. Sorry.
Definetely go to the mom, if you let her get away with this, it will only make her do worse. Also make sure LilZ knows what’s going on, so he can think before he does something with her (my bro had a friend who was, let’s say, a little lax in the moral dept.)
First to type_a: It would have been hard to steal anything b/c we were cleaning the carpets so it was all in piles (grin).
Second to Js: I think my landlord would like to know that there are teens going into unlocked houses Uninvited. I dont know - am I not allowed to complain since we left the door unlocked, is it just our own damn fault? If so - that kinda sucks. OH well…hmmm…
i wouldgo to the Mom, don’t expect to get anywhere because she has already proved she is a noclassbitch. Keep Lilzoot away from her kid, she obviously is bad news. I would be like you with RayRay….a total Mush.
As for saying goodbye to Lilzoot, you are no worse than me, I almost attached myself to Billy’s leg at wrestling camp 2 years ago …he was 16. Yeah, I know…
You should go to the mom. I know she hates you but still if you show compassion on her daughter may be that will break the ice. Take Ray Ray with you as evidence of the “break in” that way she is less likely to lie about it. Also keep LilZoot far away from her. The mom is probably going to go postal but the point is this…her daughter did the deed and may be just may be with that over her head she may come around to being a sane individual again!
Everyone here has great advice and your goingh to do what you feel is best. That being said, I would; talk to the mother with a canned ready-made speech ignoring anything she said making sure she understands K is no longer welcome in your home, tell the landlord what you tell the Mom, not fuss anymore about RayRay so that it can be forgotten, forbid Lilz to associate with K but expect that he will because after all you live there, remember that it does not matter whether doors were locked or not (you could have beads hanging in the doorway) K took the initiative to VIOLATE your home. Your space, whatever you want to call it. It would be different had you made it clear at some earlier time that it was OK to drop by anytime, mi casa/su casa. But I assume you didn’t. Longwinded, sorry.
I think I would just kinda sit back and see what happens. Definitely don’t let lilzoot hang out with them and always make sure the doors are locked when you are gone. Just keep an eye on the neighborhood. Maybe you will catch them in the act of something.
If you think the way you acted when Lilz left for school was awful, then I taught you well,.. you obviously don’t remember how I acted when you went off with your Dad for a month and then College…oh the nerve….
I have no idea what to suggest you do. I know Ray Ray and I’m sure she is up to nothing but I’m not sure about K…I don’t think you should let Lilz see her any more. I guess you should try to talk to the mother, knowing fully you’ll get no where. and then maybe just mention it to the landlord, not like you want the girl in prison or anything, (even if you do)..but just to let her know what happened and she seems to have no problem walking into an apt that has been accidently unlocked. I know it’s not actually breaking and entering but its still wrong.
This is too long…..sorry…..
Ok — I know a few people have said that dealing with K’s mom would be useless as far as getting a good response from her, but I still think you should go.
It’s true, she probably WON’T take it well. And, she will probably side with her miscreant daughter. And get mad. But who cares how SHE feels about being confronted!? And who cares if she even does anything. You need to take a stand, make a point to her that this? Is NOT going to happen again. And if it does? MAJOR consequences.
And, you know… it’s a slim chance… but maybe this would be the one thing to push her over the edge and really lay into K for it.
Even if she doesn’t, I think taking RayRay is a good idea — she’ll corroborate the story. And K should be there to get the yelling-at from you, that she won’t get from her Mom.
Take a stand, Zoot. Nobody else is gonna do it!
speaking from a male perspective, we expect our mom’s to embarass us. it’s just par for the course.
as for the other issue. i wouldn’t bother w/the mom. anyone who hides behind a door to avoid issues w/their kid’s friend will not take this well. i feel she would probably try to drag ray ray into it if you took it to the landlord. i would listen to angie & sit back & wait to see what happens. definitely don’t let lil’ z play w/them. remember, you’re the mom & your decisions will not always be popular.
RayRay is precious and can do no wrong…LilZ already has his gift - a wonderful and loving mom who is a much better parent than MrX…and pingpong balls and sand work well in gas tanks, too…don’t they type_a?