When you were a kid, did you have food you Would. Not. Eat? Yeah, so did I. Granted, it wasnt typical stuff, because I have always loved my vegetables. But there were definitely blacklist food items that were not allowed anywhere near my mouth.

Do you have the same blacklist of foods now?

When I was pregnant will LilZ, I got the urge to try mayonaise on a sandwich. I had NEVER liked mayonaise before, but that day? I loved it - and I still do. Also? All tomato based sauces were blacklisted, and this included pizza (ew, pizza sauce…grody) and spaghetti. Well - being a vegetarian for six years forced me to get those things of the blacklist. So - as an adult, I try blacklisted items periodically, just to see if I still hate them.

Green Olives: Love them. Love them. Love them. Plain. I can not keep them in the house anymore because I’ve eaten entire jars in one sitting.

Onions: I like to cook with them now. I really like them fried. But on my burgers? Step off. Seriously.

V8: Keep that stuff away from me. I have tried to get V8 off the blacklist a few times, and everytime ends with me gagging and pouting and walking around the rest of the day smelling tomato juice. Bleh.

Steak: I respect a good steak. I’m still not a big red meat fan, I’ve always been more of a chicken or fish girl. But - I can appreciate steak, and do enjoy it when I eat it. However - I’m not a true steak lover because I like mine well done, and with A1 sauce. My husband thinks I should be punished for treating a good cut of meat that way. Whatever.

Mustard: I Don’t hate it anymore. I used to freak out if there was even a HINT of it on my sandwich (EW EW EW MUSTARD!). I still dont ask for it, but I also wont send a sandwich back that has some on it.

Those little onions my Mom cooks every Christmas that are in some weird creamy sauce. Nasty. Ew. Gross. My mom cooks them as a tradition, but I can not stand them. I try, every year, hoping to one day be able to continue the tradition. But so far? Blech. I mean - they look like brains, Mom. How the hell am I supposed to eat something that looks like they were ripped out of Barbie and Ken heads?

Sautee’d Mushrooms Yum. Yum. Yummy. I love them now. Especially? Poured over a BBQ chicked breast. Yeah - those are not blacklisted anymore. As a matter of fact - they are on the “please cook them for me because I’m too damn lazy to cook them myself” list.

Black Eyed Peas Now - I’ll eat these if someone else serves them with a meal. And on New Years? I’ll eat them because its good luck. But - they arent ever in my home. Not by MY doing anyway. Not that they arent welcome if they are escorting, lets say, a good casserole. But - I dont request them. Ever.

Corn Bread I always thought corn bread was too dry. BUT - that was before I tried the Wednesday Special at this hole in the wall grease pit in my college town. On Wednesdays - for $1.49 - you could get a HUGE bowl of white beans and monster chunks of corn bread. Mix the two together? THAT is some good stuff. I figured out that I had blacklisted cornbread before I had ever eaten it PROPERLY.

Dark Beers Since I’m a good law-abiding citizen, I never once had a sip of beer before the legal age of 21. So - dark beers were only blacklisted then. And they still are. Give me a Dos Equis if we are getting fancy with our beer drinking. But, if we’re not? I’d prefer a Michelob Ultra over any other beer out there. I know - it’s blasphemy to MrZoot too - but it makes me a cheap date.

Tea Now - plain Tea? Still blacklisted. But Southern Style Sweet Tea? Not so much. Nope. I love the stuff with every taste bud.

Chicken Liver Some things are so engraved on the blacklist in blood? I’ll never even give them a chance to be removed from it. Chicken Livers are one of those things. And Veal. They belong on the blacklist forever, and I’m okay with that.

Today is going to be INSANE! Did you know I actually have a job? I don’t talk about it much - but I do, I really do. And it is actually a job that I use my degree for. Isnt that even twice as impressive as the fact that I have one to begin with? And - what’s weirder? MrZoot has the same job, but for a different company. So - I can call him for help (which I do all the time) or he can call me for help (which he’s done ONCE in the last three years).

Except - MrZoot’s job requires a security clearance, so he can’t really tell me exactly what he does. He actually “Zoot-Proofs” his office when I come by. Which sucks. I mean - if they tell him to have an affair with a gorgeous leggy blonde, for “national security purposes”, and if they file that under “top secret”, Can I really be that mad if I ever found out?

Yeah. See - that’s what happens with me and the no coffee schtick. I think random nonsense like that and decide it would be a fantabulous blog entry.

Any who…I have some stuff to get done at work today. And that is all I’m saying about work. Not that I care if you all know about work - but its just, well, not that exciting unless you are in the same field (GIS anyone?). Don’t get me wrong, I love the work, my husband loves his work (especially the leggy blonde), but to other people not in GIS? Not so exciting.

Except when I say “I get to work with Satellite Photos.” Then people think about Spying! Space Travel! NASA! and other cool things, which I do NONE of. I just change colors. Like, pixels that are pine trees? Now you are orange. Pixels that are pavement? You are now purple. See? Not that exciting. But - is anyone’s job (besides MrZoot’s) really that exciting to other people?

My point? I have a job. Its going to kick my ass today. And - go write a Haiku a Chris’s. Thats my point.

OR a Callback to Another of Zoots Admirable Parenting Moves

This afternoon, MrZoot and I are going back to the department we got our degrees from. One of our old Professors is retiring, and we are attending his shin-dig to honor him. The building we will be in today, Wesleyan Hall, at the University of North Alabama, is a special place for us. We spent many late nights in the “Castle” as we called it, collaborating on projects, helping students (we were both assistants in the computer lab), making maps, cursing teachers, and falling in love. AAAWWWW! *gag*.

But - it has reminded me of a story illustrating my perfect parenting (sarcasm). My last two years in that department, I would find myself working many late hours in that lab. LilZoot was always up there with me because I didnt have any night-time child care, and he didnt mind it too much. What five-yr-old would mind hanging out in a castle? One night, I was gearing up for “Geography Awareness Week”. It was about 1am and LilZoot had fallen asleep on the couch in the computer lab. We had been there since I picked him up from Kindergarten at 2:30pm. I thought “Poor guy - I’m just going to snuggle with him for a moment”.

I curled up on the couch with him, to just “rest a minute”. The next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes to sunshine. I shot up and looked at my watch. Shit. 7:00am. Shit. I had class at 8:00am. Shit. LilZ had to be at school at 7:15. Shit. Thank god he was still in his uniform from the day before (he went to a private school for kindergarten). So I woke him up, “Get up!!! Now!!!”.

When we opened the door to the computer lab to come OUT into the hall, we scared the shit out of John, the janitor. He was like “Uh, Zoot, have you been here all night?” and I’m “Shit. Cant talk. Shit. Running late, sorry if I scared you! SHIT!” (Luckily - John and I were pals so he wasnt offended by my loud cursing and frantic rambling).

I threw LilZoot in the car (not quite literally, but almost), and sent him to kindergarten in the same clothes he had worn the day before. With no breakfast. No brushed teeth. No bath. No lunch (lunch money though - thank god), and a rushed hug to end a frantic morning. I spent the rest of the day thinking about how bad of a Mom I was to send my child to school in that condition. Especially considering he’s like me and rarely goes a full day without spilling something on himself. So - his day old uniform? Also had day old stains to incriminate me further.

But you know? He still talks about “The time we spent the night at the castle” with excitement. I hear him telling friends about it, or he’ll remind me of it out of the blue. I guess its one of his many war stories from my college years. And lawd…there were MANY. Regardless - its still a day I look back on as being on of my biggest “Oh, SHIT!” days, and he looks back on it as one of his favorites. Funny how it works that way.

LilZoot update I talked to him again this morning and he is still having a ball and not missing me in the slightest. But - we did have a giggle full conversation as I threatened to email him a picture the dogs poop from this morning. Yep - the guarantee giggle inducer for a 9yrold boy - talk about poop.

It usually works for MrZoot too.

I finally got my new camera cord in the mail. Remember? The Unidentified Device?. Well - I can finally unveil LilZs new room, But first? The OLD Room. And then? One half way through picture that shows the colors together perfectly! Click on any of the pictures to see the larger version.

Before I show you the FINAL results, I want to point out a few things.

1. LilZ has a Rubbermaid Garage unit as a Dresser. This is NOT because we don’t love him. We do - I swear. What you need to realize is we have NOTHING but crappy furniture at this phase of our life. The “Not buying anything new because we want a house dammit” Phase. His dresser? Is much better than our 80s reject black lacquer and gold trim set we have in our bedroom.

2. LilZ used to have a bed frame. He asked a few months ago if he could just have his mattresses on the floor. No frame. I had my bed the same way in college and MrZ had his like that as well - so we know the joy of a no-frame life. Again - LilZs lack of a bed frame is in no way a sign that we don’t love him.

3. LilZs old room was covered with thirty plus “cute animals” postcards stuck all over his walls. He loves anything that has a cute puppy or kitten on it. MrZ and I? Were the same way when we were kids. I didnt hang all of them back up (The Holes! EEK!) but I did hang all of his cute animal posters back up. I think thats enough cuteness for him.

4. There are no pictures that include the “post-painting” ceiling. There is a reason for that. I’m lazy. And Short. And I only have one step ladder to reach tall places. Blah.

5. The Hillary Duff (hate her. hate her. hater her. Do ya hear me Jen?) and the Olsen Twins Mary Kate and Ashley posters are new. I bought those last night with the help of the kids next door. (I told you I was borrowing neighborhood children while LilZ was gone). I wanted to get him a Lindsay Lohan poster - but I couldn’t find one. The kids said LilZ will SCREAM! when he sees his room. I hope so. What do you think?

I talked to LilZoot today. He’s totally missing me. He cried and cried and begged to come home because his life is nothing without seeing his Mom everyday. He told me his Dad was no fun whatsoever and he never wanted to leave me again.

Or maybe, what he actually did, was call me and just sit there on the phone while I asked questions that were answered with “yes” and “no” or whatever one word answer he could muster. Then, his first more than one word response? He said “How do you spell ‘canoe’?” revealing he was doing some word puzzle while talking to me on the phone at the same time.

And then - once I made him stop that? THEN - he started crying and saying he missed me and wanted to come home now because he couldnt make it until Sunday without getting a hug from his Momma. He said he was only using the word puzzles to distract him from the longing he felt every day waking up without me there to hug him.

Or maybe - he just started talking non-stop about how much fun he’s having. Eating out every night. Having water balloon fights. Going to see movies at the theater. Staying up late watching rented movies. Playing with kids. Having a ball.

But THEN - when I said it would be another six days until we’d see each other? THEN - he started saying he couldnt wait that long. He wanted to have me tuck him in tonight because he missed me. He said he missed having someone to do his “Highs and Lows” with. He missed the play time and the Mommy/Son time. He said he wanted to come home tomorrow.

Or maybe - he said
“Mom - we’re here - I’ll talk to you later”
“Okay honey - I love you so much and I…” *CLICK*

Yeah - he’s heartbroken. If, of course, by “heartbroken” you mean “unphased by the fact that he hasnt seen me since Thursday, and WONT see me until Sunday”

He’s so grounded when he gets back. For not missing me enough.