Its that time of month again.
No, not THAT time of the month. The OTHER time of month.
Its the 10th day of the month which means time to analyze the google searches that bring people here. My AWSTATS stat service is organized by the month - and by the end of the month there are too many search strings to go through. So, I choose the ten-day mark which gives me enough to make a good entry out of (421) but not too many to scan. This months top searches seem to be my Krispy Kreme Cakes (113 Searches), and the entry about Kirstie Alley (33 Searches).
Here are the best from the first ten days of August:
picture of a dog pooping - MrZ insists searches like these are probably for a FARK photoshop contest. I sure hope so because this one shows up EVERY MONTH, several times. I do talk a lot about dog poop here - but I dont have any pictures of it. Would you like me to post a picture of my dog’s poop?
9 year old son peed furniture - Um. Are you looking for a way to clean it up? Or a way to make him stop? He really should be potty trained by now.
toothless women - Great. Who knew my loose bridge would bring weirdos to my blog. Well - I was looking for reassurance that if my bridge fell out, I could still be pretty.
why i m called zoot - I know why I am called Zoot. Why are YOU?
my little wife 4 10 height 32 a breasts story bigger girl Huh?
nabisco 100 calorie snack - They suck. They don’t fill you up AT ALL. You’ll eat 12 bags of them - trust me. Find a better snack.
amazing race mirna boobs - GO AWAY.
loves to cook anorexic mary kate olsen - Are you wanting to cook FOR her? Or just cook her, like as a meal? The first is awfully sweet - I want her to eat too. But it actually sounds like you may be into some sort of bizarre eating disorder related cannibalism, Clarice. Ew.
lindsay lohan with hooters…and other parts - I love the ellipses and the “other parts” of this search, it makes it so much more ambiguous.
zoots disease - Unadulterated insanity. Sprinkled with a bit of control-freak, and a tad of anxiety thrown in for good measure.
is goldschlager safe - NO! Cover your ears with aluminum foil, quick!
how to cook chicken livers without them popping everywhere? - I have no idea, but animal organs that “pop everywhere” are not at all appetizing.
first to fall asleep i smelled feet - Heh. I dont know what that means, but its funny.
happiness is a pug t-shirt - Its the little things, really.
kimmy gibbler nude - WHAT? Go AWAY.
hairdresser ruined hair - I’m sorry, but I swear it wasnt me.
jase from bb5 on arrested development - yes, he was one of the stripper cops in the episode Pier Pressure. Even my love for the show Arrested Development can not dillute my hatred for him though, sorry.
i never wear shoes - Congratulations?
what do dogs manhood look like? - Um. Ew.
what are somthings that could help me stop lying to my boyfriend? - Hee. Um. Applesauce. Its the cure-all. If that doesnt work? Try holding your breath and saying the Pledge of Allegiance
sexy golf attire - Some men can look sexy in golf clothes (my husband is one of them) but golf attire itself? Is not at all sexy.
f-a-b thunderbirds - it doesnt stand for anything. Its short for fabulous, which is how the writers intended it originally - but there people who try to make it an acronym, and it is NOT. I looked it up too, dont worry.
husbands are assholes - Mine’s not. And its kinda rude to generalize, doncha’ think?
Ha! Lindsey Lohan brings some trash to my site as well.. like this months “anteater impression snowing bathroom”
Kimmy Gibler nude is going to give me nightmares.
Ewwww totally cringing over the Kimmie visual…
kimmy gibbler
HA!
That’s soo funny! I am so gonna screw up your google stats for next month
Hee on wanting Mary Kate to eat. Dave had a dream last weekend that he, Ashley and I were chasing Mary Kate trying to get her to eat a hoagie sandwich. She was hiding in bushes and stuff.
We were reasoning with her about how it has lettuce and tomato (”it’s good for you!”) on it and that a little bit won’t hurt her. Heh.
You know, those search engine issus are the main reasons I didn’t post about wearing my cho-pat strap @n my leg. I could wear the strap, or I could put “it” @n my leg, but those two words together would cause too many odd searches leading to my site.
I just love these posts - aren’t people weird?…
I’m so embarrassed… to be what I would consider a regular reader - who is anything but crazy - and to make it on the crazy search list!
Curiosity had me wondering the story behind your unique (or so I thought) alias; but I didn’t want to bother you by asking, if you’d already taken the time to write about it. So I searched for what I thought one might say, if writing about why she’s called what she is, hoping to bring up an explanation in your archives.
A few things I did learn (mind you, it was an afternoon where I was fighting productivity, and trying to LOOK busy), is that there are many things named/called Zoot: companies, types of clothes, music groups, crazy college projects, etc.
However, my favorite finds (courtesy of urbandictionary.com) were:
Zooted - “To be high under the influence of PCP” or “when you smoke so much weed you are beyond the point of stoned and the possibilty (sic) of vomiting is very real.”
Zootie - “A joint laced with crack.”
With that knowledge, I don’t think I want to know anymore…
this stuff is of The Crazy. I like the ‘happiness is a pug t-shirt’. What possesses people to google this stuff? I google normal stuff, like old boyfriends.
freaks! they’re all damn freaks! i get more hits for shana hiatt than i know what to do with . . . freaks!
So did you ever find out where we can find Kimme Gibler Nude?
C
Those were some hilarious searches. I can’t even comprehend some of the things people search for. But I love that they do it, because I get so much laughter from them doing so.
Oh my god, Kimmie Gibbler nude, I think my brain is scarred.
ewwww, Kimmie Gibbler…yuck!
…applesauce…HAHAHAHA!!!
LOLOLOL!!! What will people search for next???!
Oh, let’s just say it one more time and let it sink in good and proper: Kimmy. Gibbler. NUDE. *Shudder* And the picture of a dog pooping? I actually HAVE one of those. Maybe I should post it and see how many hits it gets me.
It was an accident, by the way. (The picture.) I wasn’t inspired to take it after my own fruitless Google search for one.
People are looking for Kimmy Gibbler? Why? Okay, and then nude? WTF? But “first to fall asleep I smelled feet” cracks me up. For some reason I’m picturing a boys’ sleepover party. The Lindsay Lohan “…and other parts” search is both hilarious and disturbing.
The applesauce and pledge? Can I steal that and use it as a punishment for my son? LMAO Please? Because it’d be hysterical just to watch!