Yes, those are tears I’m pointing at. I’m crying because I just got my first Cabbage Patch doll EVER. A great gift from a great friend. Thank you.

Edited to add: Her name is Darcy Candace. Should I take her out of the box? The eternal question, right?

I’ve Got Questions - Do you have answers?

• Why does the manager at Vitamin World smoke? I mean - she’s managing a store that makes money off of healthy people. Is that her way of “sticking it to the man”?
• Why is it that the day my boss brings in homemade éclairs, MY fridge is the only one with enough room to hold them all. Shouldn’t that be some form of illegal torture? THERE’S A WHOLE PLATE OF FREAKIN’ ÉCLAIRS TWO INCHES FROM MY DESK. Ruthless, I tell you, ruthless.
• Why is everyone bracing for Armageddon simply because there MIGHT be a little bit of ICE on the roads tomorrow morning? I think the fact that LOST is a re-run again NEXT week should be causing more of an uproar than this imaginary ice storm.
• Will you rub my feet?

Thanks for tolerating my last entry, and for not being disgusted by what I believe many find as inappropriate humor. I read billions of infertility blogs a day - and they get away with that type of humor, since that’s the focus of their blog, and their readers expect it. I wasnt sure if it would go over well with you guys. But - sometimes? It’s the best way to keep from crying. That? And LARGE amounts of alcohol. Oh, and MAD PROPS to Christine for the best “consolation break-up line”: Demi? You are so way hotter than Demi. Damn straight I am.

Here’s some random photos from the last few days. ENJOY! And as always - click to see them bigger in a new window.

1. Lil’Girl (The Kisser) sleeping on my laptop case.
2. LilZoot’s AWESOME birthday cake made by MrZ’s mom. Yes - she’s the same woman who made my DONUT birthday cake. She really knows how to deal with birthdays for people who arent big fans of cake. LilZ’s cake was so yummy? I ate the last 2 pieces myself. How AWFUL of a mother am I? I finished of my son’s birthday cake!
3. LilZoot’s AWESOME gifts given to him by MrZ’s family. I told ya’ - he’s into this Fantastic Four stuff. And they did a great job hunting down stuff that would keep him talking for days and days and days and days…
4. MrZ’s brother’s dog - Rosco - who happens to also be OUR dogs son. So - he’s my Granddog? Either way. You have NEVER met a dog as sweet as he is. I promise you. Every time I see him I contemplate stealing him and taking him home with me. One of these days…
5. The sky from the parking lot at my office this week. Too pretty not to photograph.

Dr. SoNice broke up with me today. He has been my OB/GYN for almost two years now. He seems to think we are not filling each other’s needs anymore. It’s really sad because we’ve had such good memories together. My favorite was when he told me the fetus that had been growing inside of me for 12 weeks was dead. Yeah, THOSE were good times.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. And he’s right, he just can’t give me what I want - a nine-month pregnancy leading to the birth of a child. He’s tried all he can do - but I am just too needy. We promised we would get together again in March for my yearly Pap - but until I successfully carry a pregnancy past the first trimester? He wants nothing to do with me.

He has set up a blind date for me and another doctor. We call him Dr. Popular because he’s the guy all the girls want. He will see me in a month. Unfortunately - he is requiring a lot of tests for me to take between now and then. Something about a possible hostile cervical environment (even my cervix is a bitch), thyroid problems, low progesterone levels, and/or uterine scarring. Dr. Popular wants to know everything about me before our first date. He’s not big on flying blind.

So. All in all? I think it’s going to be a good relationship. I hear he’s really young, which is good. I’ll be the Demi to his Ashton. Without all of that Kabala crap.

My doctor’s appointment is today. This is the one where the doctor will sympathize with us having struggles and will provide any number of options for tests and treatments that will get me pregnant am hopefully KEEP me pregnant for at least nine months.

Except that he really won’t. Because its the dead of winter and brilliant me left home with NO coat and NO socks. 40 degrees out and I’m dressed like its Springtime. I look like an idiot. An idiot who DEFINITELY shouldn’t be procreating.

And then? There’s my hobble. Its the My Knee Is Swollen and My Ankle is Sore hobble. He’s going to ask why I’m walking funny and I’m going to have to explain that I decided it would be REALLY smart to tackle my dog in the middle of a parking lot. And No, I didn’t even pause to consider that I’m a clumsy fool and can barely handle walking from point A to point B, much less a complex maneuver like a full body tackle on PAVEMENT.

Of all the days to look like a complete moron, it has to be the day that I’m trying to get a doctor to help me become a mother. I should have planned on bringing LilZoot as proof that although I have ZERO skills when it comes to tending to my OWN well-being, I have managed to keep him alive for TEN YEARS now.