Not really. But I sure wish I were.
It’s SO HOT right now. I mean, it’s DAMN HOT. And MUGGY. My god, the humidity…and the heat…and did I mention the HUMIDITY? I usually love summers in Alabama, but this whole pregnancy thing is making me want to go move in with Pam.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, I hadn’t even started yet, the heat, it’s fried my brain.
I listen to this radio show on my way to work in the mornings. It’s based out of North Carolina, but USED to be based out of Huntsville, so we lost it for awhile, and then we got it back, and then we lost it again, and now, in about 80% of the city, I can hear it through the Birmingham syndicate. And I love it.
This morning? They were discussing men who hide multiple mistresses or multiple wives. And this woman called in with the most INSANE story. She said her ex-husband is living in Florida with TWO of his past mistresses UNDER THE SAME DAMN ROOF. And five kids, of which, some belong to one mistress, and some belong to the other.
“What are the sleeping arrangements,” the DJs had to ask. Well, it’s simple…the grown-ups (one man and two women) share ONE bedroom, the male children share another, and the female children (one who is 16) share the third bedroom. And of course, this woman said, “My daughter does NOT visit. EVER.”
How in the HELL does that happen? How does a situation like that pop up? I mean, do you tell one mistress first that you want to live with her after your divorce (Yay!) and then break it to her that there will be another mistress too? (Boo!). And then…how do you explain it to the kids? And who IS this guy? The woman who called said he doesn’t even work, that the WOMEN BOTH SUPPORT HIM!
And what do they do for a living, you may ask…
They’re EXOTIC DANCERS. Of COURSE!
Who is this guy? Does he have special powers? Like “Asshole Tractor Beams” or “Jerkitude Hypnotic Gas” or something? How does he convince these women (who the ex-wife said are both attractive, one she even called BEAUTIFUL) to tolerate this? Should he be idolized? Or DAMNED TO HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY?
I’m just amazed. My husband’s lucky if I wash his damn clothes. Much less support him along with the OTHER woman he’s screwing IN MY DAMN BEDROOM. Wackos. That’s totally WAY more bizarre than my arm flailing entrances.
WHAT?! You DON’T let your husband sleep with other women? In the same bedroom?
Obviously there’s something wrong with you.
Dude, it’s called sharing…he’s just being nice!
You have no idea how much this stuff goes on.
Don’t even get me started on the Mormons, tons of them still practice pologmy.
But if my ex-husband had his way he’d have me and one of his tarts under the same roof too, he even proposed the idea once. Hence the words…ex.
I am always dumbfounded by the people I see on 20/20 or the NBC News Magazine shows or Maury, etc. I do not believe that a woman would stand for that. But I guess they do. Personally, I would kill the SOB.
“ASSHOLE TRACTOR BEAM” paints a very funny picture in my mind. Not pretty… but funny!
That’s crazy! I don’t know any guy could put up with dealing with TWO women during that “monthly hormonal joy ride”. He must move out and live with is other mistress during that time.
Sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer!!
Geesh, Brad Pitt couldn’t even pull that off with Angelina and Jenn. Who the hell is this guy? George Clooney?
Some people live in a completely different world. I was once offered the arrangement of marrying and procreating wi th one guy while we lived with another couple and everyone would sleep with everyone else.
I married a guy from my planet instead.