It’s almost the end of the month, so it’s time to cruise June’s search strings for blogging material. And if you’re wondering what the COMPLETE list of June search strings looks like? And the scary SCARY ones I don’t tell you about? I converted the whole list to a text file for your enjoyment. Please right-click and choose “Save As” if you’re curious (but don’t say I didn’t warn you). The number that follows the search phrase is the amount of times it was used to get to my site, in a solid number and a percentage. Have at it: Download file
But - if you just want the non-pr0nographic highlights? Keep reading. And remember, I screw with the typing and spelling to try to keep some of these people from coming back.
bat poop mascara
I get a BUNCH of searches about bat poop in mascara. What is up with that? Is that an urban legend I never heard of? Or is it true? I’m going to go google it.
People who could actually be me, if I searched for weird things on the internet.
hair too short for pigtails
flat ass
haircut from hell
i hate russel crowe
i ate waaay too much
mega vag!na
I do NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES want to know what this person was looking for. I mean, is this a new superhero that aids in child birth? Or maybe one you call when your husband’s needs are going unmet?
w magazine photos of angelina jolie and brad pitt
Dude. Are those not the HOTTEST pictures EVER?
legolas pregnant
Janet? Is there something you’re not telling us? I mean…being Fond of Elves is one thing…
lost sucks
No. YOU suck.
People who should NOT be using the internet as their doctor
blood leaking from my ear
stinky poots
picked my face now i have scabby open sore
can t open my mouth wide
diarrhea metallic smell
dont feel sick but throat is hurting n it hurts to swallow
peed in my pants
Are you looking for a praise? Or advice? Or just plain ole’ acknowledgement?
underwear smartass
There’s your advice, AND your acknowledgement.
waxing butt
Do whatever you want to YOUR butt, but stay the hell away from mine.
gross cat litter pictures
I don’t know what’s weirder. The person SEARCHING for the pictures, or the person who TOOK the pictures.
similasan ear wax relief does it work?
Yes! It worked better than the prescription drugs when I was dying from an ear infection.
i don t suck my thumb anymore
Way to go! Next stop…big boy potty!
zany ways to say hi
Oooohhh…ZANY ways, heh? Well, let’s see here…
pregnancy sarcasm
I don’t think it’s a documented symptom, necessarily. But - it’s definitely a good coping mechanism.
shut the fuck up eeyore
Dude. SOMEbody woke up on the wrong side of Rabbit’s garden, didn’t they? Why don’t you take your happy pills, go back to sleep, and leave Christopher Robbin’s friends ALONE, okay?
i m trying to be happy for you
Is it REALLY that hard of a thing to do? Or have I wronged you in some way?
My favorite from the list: tootie nuggets.
It sounds like some kind of cute poop or something.
LOL! Tootie nuggets was the main item to jump out at me…..that and Indian boobs.
What is a tootie nugget? I picture Billy Bob Thorton in Slingblade….”Hey mmmmhmm, give me some of them tootie nuggets…mmmmhhhmm.”
Hmm Gee Ms Zoot what weird and wonderful things you get searched on by. me I’ve no idea, I don’t got any fancy tool like that or rather I’ve not paid for the “Premium” version of it yet.. going to see how useful it is first but if it’s gonna tell me things I’d rather not know I think I’ll stick to whats for free.. 17days Can’t wait either
I laughed and sniggered and laughed some more so hard that the cats outside jumped up on the window sill to see what was up.
I googled “bat poop mascara” and my number 3 and 4 hits were you talking about “bat poop mascara” in your last go round. I think you have a self fullfilling thing there. I also don’t have to remember your blog URL anymore - “bat poop mascara” and I’m all set.
Now that i’m “out,” I’ll comment. Unless you hate me. In which case, I’ll still read but comment less. Or more. Maybe if you hate me you’ll want me to comment more? Right.
I wish I had an excuse … like … there was bat poop in my mascara. But then I shared it and now the whole high school has an eye infection (I am not in high school nor have I shared my mascara recently. Has anyone even heard of that happening outside of finger-wagging warnings from mom?)
Also, love the lists.
hahaha…Too funny!
LMAO… Zoot, you just made my day! Heh!
That list is scary! I stopped reading when I saw that someone found your blog by googling “Little Girlz” - What is wrong with this world? Thank god you found a blogging name for that cute little fetus!
I admit it…Legolas IS pregnant
And we had a fun time getting him that way! Woooohoooo!
okay… the “mega vagina” one jumped out at me… and then I read your post… HAHA.
I wonder what this person “£œ£Œ£Ã£Ÿ°°£Ã£…£‘£‘£Ã£≈£℠“was trying to find?
At least you know your a “super sexy women with baby in stomach”