It’s almost the end of the month, so it’s time to cruise June’s search strings for blogging material. And if you’re wondering what the COMPLETE list of June search strings looks like? And the scary SCARY ones I don’t tell you about? I converted the whole list to a text file for your enjoyment. Please right-click and choose “Save As” if you’re curious (but don’t say I didn’t warn you). The number that follows the search phrase is the amount of times it was used to get to my site, in a solid number and a percentage. Have at it: Download file
But – if you just want the non-pr0nographic highlights? Keep reading. And remember, I screw with the typing and spelling to try to keep some of these people from coming back.
bat poop mascara
I get a BUNCH of searches about bat poop in mascara. What is up with that? Is that an urban legend I never heard of? Or is it true? I’m going to go google it.
People who could actually be me, if I searched for weird things on the internet.
hair too short for pigtails
haircut from hell
i hate russel crowe
i ate waaay too much
I do NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES want to know what this person was looking for. I mean, is this a new superhero that aids in child birth? Or maybe one you call when your husband’s needs are going unmet?
w magazine photos of angelina jolie and brad pitt
Dude. Are those not the HOTTEST pictures EVER?
Janet? Is there something you’re not telling us? I mean…being Fond of Elves is one thing…
No. YOU suck.
People who should NOT be using the internet as their doctor
blood leaking from my ear
picked my face now i have scabby open sore
can t open my mouth wide
diarrhea metallic smell
dont feel sick but throat is hurting n it hurts to swallow
peed in my pants
Are you looking for a praise? Or advice? Or just plain ole’ acknowledgement?
There’s your advice, AND your acknowledgement.
Do whatever you want to YOUR butt, but stay the hell away from mine.
gross cat litter pictures
I don’t know what’s weirder. The person SEARCHING for the pictures, or the person who TOOK the pictures.
similasan ear wax relief does it work?
Yes! It worked better than the prescription drugs when I was dying from an ear infection.
i don t suck my thumb anymore
Way to go! Next stop…big boy potty!
zany ways to say hi
Oooohhh…ZANY ways, heh? Well, let’s see here…
I don’t think it’s a documented symptom, necessarily. But – it’s definitely a good coping mechanism.
shut the fuck up eeyore
Dude. SOMEbody woke up on the wrong side of Rabbit’s garden, didn’t they? Why don’t you take your happy pills, go back to sleep, and leave Christopher Robbin’s friends ALONE, okay?
i m trying to be happy for you
Is it REALLY that hard of a thing to do? Or have I wronged you in some way?