Do you notice anything weird about this picture? Probably not. What if I told you it is on a highway in Massachusetts? Then would you think anything was weird?

Yep. The state outline around the highway numbers is of ALABAMA.

The Boston.Com news had an article about it this morning. Evidently it took almost a week for anyone to notice it! My favorite part in the whole article?

“We thought it was Connecticut turned upside down,” said a woman who works for the contractor, A. Pereira Construction Co. of Ludlow.

Of course, it looks fine to me. I’m just sayin’…

Our neighbor had been having her fence replaced this week. What this means for US is that we are missing one side of OUR fence, and after several weeks of fenced-in-yard-bliss, we are back to leashing our dogs. BAH.

This sucks for ALL of us because we were VER spoiled (read: LAZY) before. Just open the door, let the dogs out, and forget about them until they scratch. No big effort required. But now? GRRR. We have to actually put harnesses or leashes on them and WALK them. And sometime? They take a LONG TIME to decide what to do and where to do it. I’m too lazy and fat and hot and sweaty for that right now.

(Which is why MrZ and LilZ are doing most of it, of course.)

But Sweetie? This has totally stressed her out and she didn’t poop even ONCE the first 2-3 days she was back on the harness. She has also been REALLY whiney and pitiful. I was trying to water the flowers AND walk the dogs Monday morning and I accidentally got her with the hose. I thought she was going to die, right there. She was so upset with me! She was just cowering in the corner of the yard, while I tugged on the leash, obviously thinking: First? You put this damn harness back on me and expect me to casually release my bowels in your presence, and now? You’re squirting me with water. Thanks, Mom.

Yesterday? I guess she finally decided enough was enough because she FINALLY pooped, like TEN times in one afternoon. And - it was so pitiful - she actually CRIED when she pooped! Three days of NO poop evidently wreaked such havoc on her colon that she couldn’t stand it!

Sweetie is the Dooce of the dog world.

Okay. This whole Big Brother season is just getting me so riled up. The amount of superiority complexes in the house just IRKS me. The basic gist? I dont watch reality tv for supposed “honor” and “intergrity.” I watch it for good game play and backstabbing. To me? Lying to someone you met LAST WEEK for the chance at $500,000? Has NOTHING to do with honor or intergrity. It has to do with how much you want to play the game.

I think Eric and to some extent, Maggie and Ivette…they ALL only play the “intergrity” card when it’s SOMEONE ELSE playing a better game than they are. Let me tell you - that Veto competition and the way Kaysar’s side manipulated it? WAS GENIUS. They couldn’t talk to each other as they moved, yet they all knew what they had to do and they pulled it off. BRILLIANTLY.

And the fact that Maggie and Eric were SO apalled and SO offended and SO shocked? CRACKED MY SHIT UP.

But then the rest of the episode? I couldn’t stand to watch because it all boiled down to listening to a bunch of blowhards get PISSED they were outplayed and trying to make the people who OUTPLAYED THEM look bad because they didn’t have “honor” or whatever.

BULLSHIT.

And the next person who tries to use Kaysar’s game play as a way of saying he’s not true to his religion? Is getting my swollen foot up their ass. Leave his religion out of it. He’s just playing the game WELL this week. Eat it.

Gmail Invites
I still have plenty left, if you want one. And Kari? You left a comment saying you wanted one, but you didn’t enter your email address, which I need to send you an invite! Feel free to try again.

The Fate of Aiko
As one of my readers, Alana, pointed out - I never updated you all on the fate of Aiko, the dog that followed me into my garage that day! Well, while I was getting my birthday facial, MrZ finally found his owners and they came and got him. Evidently MrZ did try to introduce him to our dogs, to which he promptly INSISTED on being picked up again. The owners were grateful we took care of him, and we were proud of ourselves for not stealing him.

My Friend, Kerry, and her Good Cause
Well, so many of you helped Kerry make her initial goal of 200 dollars for the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America(CCFA) fundraiser I told you about, that she has UPPED her goal to 500 dollars! Remember, your money is going to help people like Kerry who battle Crohn’s disease everyday. Help her with her second round of donations and remember, you don’t have to pay until AFTER August 6th. Go help my partner-in-blog-crime-in-Northern-Alabama out!

Pledge Kerry!

Sit back while I weave a tale of what dinner is like with the Zoots…hang on, it may change your perception of us (read: ME) forever.

Last night, MrZ said he wanted to go to Bellacinos for dinner because he has an unhealthy love for their pizzas. I said, “Okay. I’m ready whenever you are,” because I was already a wee bit hungry.

Thirty minutes later I exclaimed from the other room, “OH MY GOD. I need to eat NOW.” MrZ replied with, “Me too. I’m starving to death.” To which I reminded him that I was waiting on HIM to finish his goddamn game and feed his pregnant wife already! So, we were all three off to Bellacinos.

We ordered our food (1 pizza, 2 grinders) and as I was sitting at the table waiting VERY impatiently for my dinner, I was sighing, “I’m soooo hungry” and “Oh, I’m going to be SICK, I’m starving to death” and various such complaints and moanings. LilZ tried to feed me red pepper while MrZ tried to get me to eat parmesan cheese.

“I’m lactose intolerant! That will make me sicker!”

Then? MrZ said, “Here. Eat some salt…it’s what cows do.”

And that is where I lost it for the FIRST time of the evening. I started laughing so hard I thought I was going to hurl. In essense? He called me a cow. But what was funny was my mental image of cows eating salt WHILE WAITING FOR THEIR GRINDERS to be made. And I got tickled and couldn’t stop laughing. And then? We argued over whether cows or horses use salt licks.

(Don’t answer, MrZ already researched it online because he’s a BIG FAT GEEK. He was right. As usual.)

THEN? As we were leaving the restaurant…fat and happy…LilZ wanted to get one of those colored faux armstrong bracelets out of the machine at the door. I was looking at the examples “Faith,” “Hope,” and “Love” and said, “Eh…75 cents for those is a wasted of money, and look, that purple one says ‘Bellville’, what if you got that one?”

{This is when YOU say to yourself Bellville? Faith, Hope, Love, and…Bellville?)

Seconds passed with weird and pitying looks from MrZ and LilZ before I said to MYSELF Bellville? Faith, Hope, Love, and…Belville? That doesn’t make any sense. And then I re-looked at the machine and saw the purple one did NOT say “Belville.” Nope.

It said, “Believe.”

Which, makes much more sense than “Bellville.” As the realization came over me, MrZ just started laughing at me to the point where his face turned beet red. And of course, as I realized what I had said, what I had done, and what I had believed BELLVILLED, I stopped walking and almost collapsed mid-hysterics. I was AMAZED at my own stupidity to the point that I could not BREATHE I was laughing so hard.

“BELLVILLE!”

LilZ, of course, was giving me the benefit of the doubt, assuming there WAS a band that said “Bellville” and he just didn’t see it.

“What’s Bellville?” he was trying to ask while I was laughing. I had to break it to him that Bellville was the place where stupid people who know HOW to read, but just choose NOT to, live their lives.

With the cows the eat salt while waiting for their grinders.