I’m out of Diet Coke in my office and I can’t run go get anymore because I have to use my breaks to run feed NkkiZ. What is it about those infants and their constant need to eat and an unwillingness to feed themselves? I mean, JESUS, she’s 3 months old already, shouldn’t she be able to at least fix herself a sandwich every once in awhile? Or at least just grab some crackers to chow on? Those don’t even require preparation. Just open, and eat. She’s so damn needy.

If I have to go the next five hours without caffeine I may kill myself. Are any of you going to be in my neck of the woods in the next hour or so? No?

DAMMIT.

Have I mentioned before how awesome of a big brother LilZ is? Have I? Well, just in case I haven’t, I wanted to tell another story about how awesome he is.

First, we went to run some errands yesterday afternoon. We had to do two things in one shopping center so we parked at Target (of course) but walked to BabiesRUs where we had to return some things. LilZ was very concerned that I was just carrying NikkiZ on my shoulder because, evidently, the sun was in her eyes. So, he spent the entire walk across the shopping center trying to keep his hand held above her head perfectly so the sun wouldn’t blind her. I’m sure from afar? We looked like freaks because I was trying to walk in a way as to not trip over him as he was hovering above us. But it was just so freakin’ adorable. He also wanted to carry her as soon as we got in the store because he “missed her all weekend” and he wanted to show her some cool things around the store.

A. Freakin’. Dor. A. Ble.

Then, last night? I really needed to finish up a design I was working on but NikkiZ was in a hold-me-or-listen-to-me-scream kind of mood. I have learned to do a lot of things with only one arm, but designing web pages? Kinda tricky. So, I asked LilZ if he could hold her for me while I finished something up. He did, no problem. He even entertained her by putting her in her high chair and dancing for her, which cracked her up. He came into the bedroom at one point in time (where I do my work so I can lock the dogs out) and was going to get her papasan and he held her in one arm, carried the papasan in the other, and continued his conversation with me all the while, never once asking for help. It was so awesome. He is so capable of doing so much and he wants to do it all.

It was not intentional to wait so long to have another child, but I’m thinking now it may have been the smartest thing I’ve ever done.

Of course, I still can’t get the kid to pick his towel up off the floor. Whatever that’s about.

Okay. So first? There was comment spam. Bastard spammers that would leave random comments on my site with links to their pages so if anyone clicked them they’d get payoff. And boy. THAT PISSED ME OFF. So, I did a few things. I upgraded to MT 3.2, I started banning their IPs from my whole site (if anyone wants that list, I’ll give it to you), I started closing comments on old entries, and I disallowed HTML in my comments.

Then? They started hitting me with trackback spam. BASTARDS. So, I had to close trackbacks on my old entries and all that jazz.

Well, then someone discovered that the “Reading” and “On my Mind” sections of my sidebar are actual blogs and when I write a new entry to them it updates on my sidebar. Pretty groovy, right? Until they started leaving comment spam and trackback spam on those entries, which aren’t even REAL. So, I had to close comments and trackbacks on those fake blogs.

Now? The bastards? Have found a way to hack into my archives and leave links on those pages so they end up on my sidebar. They hit Rockstar Mommy a few weeks ago and now they’re doing it to me. The thing that sucks is when Movable Type creates archive entries, it leaves the directories set at a 777 permissions which, is evidently, not a good thing. RSM went and changed all of hers to 755 as the support told her to do, and now I’m having to do the same thing. But you know? It pisses me off that I have to.

Here I am, putting my personal life on the web, ups and downs, pros and cons, black and white, whatever, and some bastard trying to find ways to get hits to his site, is invading what is essentially my FREAKIN DIARY. And it pisses me off.

My point? If you ever see a random link anywhere on any page, one that looks foreign - don’t click it - and immediately email me about it if you can. Thanks.

Now, excuse me while I go change permissions on 9 million files on my server. I’ll see you sometime next year.

Yesterday? He watched a video about HIV. I was really glad they are already discussing that with the kids, but I wish I had seen it first because I want it to be HONEST and not just a message for abstinence. LilZ knows that someone we knew in college was HIV positive, so he isn’t scared of it in the sense of “I can’t hug them! Or talk to them!” - but he knows how serious it is. He was telling us about the video and he said the teacher asked what are four bodily fluids that could care HIV and he told use:

Regular Voice: “Breastmilk”
Whisper: “Semen”
Regular Voice: “Blood”
Whisper: “Vaginal Fluids”

I love how he chose what to whisper, in a car with just the three of us. Hehehe.

Well, we’re off to a sexual education free day as LilZ is with his Dad this weekend. MrZ and I are about to go grocery shopping which gives NikkiZ a chance to enjoy her stroller, which she does. And it gives MrZ and chance to enjoy some Starbucks, which he does. And it gives me a chance to enjoy Target. Which I do.

Guess what LilZ had to do at school yesterday? Watched a video about puberty. Hehe. I remember doing the same thing in the 5th grade. We were separated from the boys and taught about puberty from a nun while the boys were taught by a priest.

Crazy Catholics.

LilZ was just apalled that it was even necessary, until we informed him that not every family openly talks to their children about sex like our family does. I remember it being very important that I teach LilZ the proper words for body parts because when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I thought that puberty was the point when my body would physically change and I would go from having a “Pee Pee” to having a “vagina” and I was really scared. I had no idea what a vagina was but I was fairly certain I didn’t want one. I don’t think I figured out that a “Pee Pee” was a “vagina” until my parents gave me one of those cartoon books that teach kids about sex. And I remember feeling such relief I wanted to cry. I thought we’d avoid that with the kids by not using cutesy words for private parts. This technique resulted in one of my favorite young LilZ moments when he proclaimed “Mom! My scrotum is sticking to my leg again!” after a bath and in front of a LOT of company.

Kids rule.

So, he was amazed that some kid thought that going through puberty was just getting pregnant. He was amazed some of the boys didnt know what a tampon was. And he was mortified that their class had to actually be shown a diagram of a penis.

“Was that REALLY necessary?” he asked.

They were sent home with a booklet explaining all the things a boy can expect with his changing body. And deoderant (hint, hint). They were NOT sent home with a condom which is what some kid’s older brother told them they’d get. I had to break it to LilZ that sending 5th grade boys home with a condom would NOT go over well anywhere, but especially in Alabama.

So, he survived the day. He’d been dreading it for awhile because “Who wants to listen to a teacher talking about penises all day?”

Amen, LilZ.