I just went to get gas (Don’t worry, no fire departments were called this time.) and across from my pump (my pump, my pump, my lovely lady pump) was a VERY beautiful girl. She was skinny, had a cute figure, and a very stylish outfit on. And her sunglasses? Were of the HUGE variety. And of course, they looked great on her.

What is up with the GIANT sunglasses?

They’ve been around for awhile now, finally creeping their way into mainstream fashion here in Huntsville. I see a lot of girls wearing them and a lot of the time they just look so cute. When they first showed up on the racks at Target, I decided to try a pair on to see if they looked as cute on me as some of the celebrities I’ve seen wearing them.

They didn’t. As a matter of fact? Think of the opposite of “cute” and that’s where I’ll be. Wearing those glasses.

A few weeks ago I noticed my sister-in-law had a cute pair. They looked SO good on her. They next time I went to Target? I decided to give it a try again. Why do I do that? Why do I think that if they didn’t look good on me the first time, they’ll look ANY different the second time? I have no idea, but whatever the reason, I still tried on a pair.

They looked dumb as HELL.

So I tried on a few others in similar styles.

They ALL looked dumb as HELL.

And I’m sure, because I saw that gorgeous girl today wearing a pair, that the next time I go to Target I’ll try again. And I’m sure, that they’ll all look just a hideous then as they have the dozen or so times before. I just can’t help myself. Those damn things look so cute on so many people, I’m determined to find that they look just as cute on me.

Now, gauchos on the other hand? I’m not even going to try those on one time.

NikkiZ’s daycare is having a Spring Fling Festival coming up. The administration at the school wants all of the classes to perform something that night. Some classes are singing songs, others are putting on skits. While I was feeding NikkiZ just now, one of the office workers came by to see what NIkkiZ’s class was doing. The teachers all laughed, like, “Ha! Good joke there Office Person.” However, they soon realized, this office person was serious. They kinda all glanced around like, “Um…”

The morning teacher has been doing a great job getting the classroom all jazzed up for the festival - and I think she thought that would be enough. Evidently? They’re supposed to think of some “performance” to do with the babies. By the time I left they had come up with the idea of a flower parade - using the babies as flowers - or some such cuteness. I felt bad for them because really, what do you do with a bunch of babies? Either way - I’m looking forward to finding out. I think if it’s not up to par, I’ll demand a refund. I want NikkiZ to be a thespian, dammit.

I’ve tried a million times (Seriously. A MILLION.) to write this entry celebrating NikkiZ’s six month birthday. However, I have no ability to put into words exactly what I’m feeling. (I bet this is why I got a rejection letter from ClubMom. That and my distaste for proper grammar and/or spelling.) Let’s just say she rocks my world in many ways. Hell she rocks my SOCKS. Because nothing expresses the true sentiment of this sweet moment than the words of Dr. Seuss.

We went through a lot of heartache and loss before we got pregnant with NikkiZ. Nothing will ever erase that. Then the pregnancy itself threw us some curves we had to navigate and the anxiety I suffered? MY GOD - THE ANXIETY. I feared losing her every day of the 40 weeks. Hell, I feared it day AND night. Looking back on that I wish I could give that girl a hug and say, “It will be okay. It will be better than ‘okay’ - it will be PERFECT.”

Because it is. In every way.

There is something I want you to consider if you are planning to:

(A) Co-sleep or sleep in the same room with your baby AND
(B) Use a baby monitor.

Sometimes one parent gets up before the other parent. The Awake Parent will carry the monitor around with him/her so that he/she will know when the baby starts to wake up because the Awake Parent might want to let the Sleeping Parent sleep as late as possible because the Awake Parent is a kind and wonderful spouse. The Sleeping Parent should keep this monitor in mind if he/she decides to wake up a little bit and do their morning-gas-release ritual because farting echoed in a bedroom and through a baby monitor can scare the shit out of the poor Awake Parent who immediately wonders what rabid goose is eating the baby.

I’m just sayin’…

LilZ used to have a Sleep-n-Snore Ernie doll. It would sleep and snore and then wakeup to say “I feel GREAT!” in an overly enthusiastic tone that sometimes made me suspicious he had been snorting blow off of Tickle-Me-Elmos stomach when no one was looking.

One time, I was walking down the hall past LilZs bedroom late one night when I suddenly heard the exclamation “I FEEL GREAT!” emerge out of the darkness of his room. This freaked my shit out to no end and I immediately grabbed the damn toy and took out his damn voice box. I didnt care how good Ernie felt, I had no interest in hearing about it during the wee hours of the morning or night. Ernie was forever silenced and I was no longer haunted by his goofball exclamations.

Some toys are simply evil.

All of that said? I feel GREAT. I went wogging walk/jogging (thanks Kal) again tonight with LilZ. We did the same 2.25 mile route, running almost half of it. I am not sore and I wasnt even too winded. I would have gone a little longer if I didnt need to do about ninety million things before bed. Maybe the 5K is attainable after all.

Just dont tell Ernie.