Back to Green or “Enjoying a Bath” level of anxiety

I just heard from Danny the Mechanic and he gave me a laundry list of things wrong with my car. I told him to just “check ‘er out” for me since she was there for the a/c issues. (Of course my car is a “she” – isn’t yours?) The a/c issues are actually going to cost us less than estimated at two other mechanics before. However, there are other issues that may need “tendin’ to.”

(I’m quoting because these are exact phrases used by Danny and myself. I tend to try to out-southern people when I talk to them, it’s a disease.)

“Ma’am, do you know your spark plugs are the same one that came on the vehicle (pronounce VEE-hicle)?”
“Oh Lord, I guess we need to get her some new ones then, don’t we?”
“That’s what I’d suggest, ma’am.”

Turns out my front brakes are “’bout 80% worn out” and my upper radiator hose is “swoled up bad.” But even with the “swoled” hose (get your mind out of the gutter!) and the spark plugs, we’re still looking at less than we expected for just fixing the a/c. Of course, I’m going to be without my car at least until tomorrow, but hell – when I get her back I don’t want no swoled nothin’ where it shouldn’t be swoled, you know?

(Must. Find. Normal. Voice.)

After Danny quickly read me the rather long list of things that need attention, I asked him a few questions regarding each of the items. “Once you put in a new High Side Line, Danny, will you be able to get a better picture of my compressor?” and “What are the range of transmission services you offer?” and “Should we replace both the upper and lower radiator hoses at the same time?” He was obviously impressed with my feedback and said:

“Ma’am? Are you taking notes? Because if you’re not you have an impressive memory.”

I hated to tell him that I was, in fact, taking notes because I’ll take any excuse to write things down with the ninety million awesome pens on my desk. And that the notes were color-coded and highlighted based on cost of service and level of necessity/urgency. I just don’t think that would impress a guy with grease under his nails and a socket wrench in his back pocket.

Why do I not do drugs again?

My anxiety is at threat level Orange today, people. To put it in perspective, Yellow is “Oh crap, I’m at work and I realized I forgot to send LilZ with a lunch or money for his field trip today.” Whereas Red is “I am walking down the aisle to get married in 30 minutes and I’ve just spilled pig blood on my gown.” I’m somewhere in between those two.

I’ve had to disappoint LilZ twice today. Once? With news that a class he wanted to take this summer may be canceled for lack of interest. And the second time? That he can’t go to a party at his friends’ because it conflicts with something family related. “Sometimes you have to forgo fun for the sake of family.” Which, may not have been the best way to phrase that particular nugget of wisdom.

My job is going to hell in a handbasket as I realized this morning that I may have totally approached this current task with the wrong technique and may have to start over after a week’s worth of work has already been put into it. My boss will love that.

My car insurance company gave us a check to fix my hail damage (Thank you Anonymous who encouraged us to take it in many moons ago!) which we’ll use part of to fix my air conditioning (good bye ass sweat). This does not cause me anxiety, but having to take my car in and be without a car does. I use all of my available “lunch break” time to feed NikkiZ, any other time taken off comes off my paycheck and we really don’t need that right now. And also? I kinda need a car to get back and forth to feed NikkiZ. And MrZ needs one to pick up and drop of LilZ. Being without a car for “X” amount of time may actually kill me faster than driving a car without air-conditioning in an Alabama summer.

And also? My shoes are hurting my feet.

Cracking me up

LilZ has really developed a fantastic sense of humor as he gets older. There are times when I know I shouldn’t laugh (usually because he’s being a smart-ass) but it is REALLY difficult. I have to put on my serious face, hide the grin, and say, “Where I appreciate the wit you just demonstrated, being a smart-ass is not allowed…yet.”

Yesterday – he had two good lines that did not require disciplinary action:

Me: How was the first day at daycamp?
Him: (eyeroll) The made us dance to Jesus songs.

**********

Me: Will you get the cokes and gatorade out of my trunk?
Him: Yeah, but what do you want me to do with the body?

**********

Hee. My family ROCKS.

I broke my own damn rule

So, I have this thing, right? This thing that makes me REALLY hate how stores make you sign up for their damn “cards” to get a reasonable price on items. This is why I get my groceries at Target. Good prices and GOBS of cheap generics. NO CARD.

Well, I also have this thing where I drink a couple cases of Diet Cokes a week. And Super Target? Usually has them reasonably priced with sales every week. About once every six weeks or so, though, there is NO sale and they are priced over four dollars a case. These weeks? I find who else has them on sale and go there. This was one of those weeks. Who had them on sale? Kroger. 4 cases for 11 dollars. AWESOME.

On my way home today, in a horrible storm, I decided to stop and get a few cases at Kroger. I walked in with a VERY fussy and irritated baby. I walked up to the coke display and saw “With Card 4/11 dollars. Without? 4.99 ea.” WHAT? NO! Did I stay strong with my thing against cards or did I stay strong with my thing for Diet Cokes? What do you think…the chemical addiction won out. I signed up for a damn card so I could get the damn cokes for damn cheap. The whole time I told myself “Just this once…” vowing to destroy the card when I got home and NEVER shop there again.

(But not before I grabbed two 8 packs of gatorade on my way out. $4.50 with a card! I wasn’t going to miss out on that deal.)

(But THEN I’d destroy the card.)

(I know. I’m a freak.)

The world according to MrZ

MrZ commented on this entry and I decided to make an entry out of it to help fill in the blanks for the whole “Four Hour Trip to Home Depot” concept. Also? He went back again yesterday, because four hours on Saturday wasn’t enough.

MrZ’s To-Do List [with commentary from me.]

  • Replace all rotten wood trim on the house including window trim. ["rotten" is an over-exaggeration, it's a wee-bit squishy in PLACES...we arent letting the whole house deteriorate before our eyes, I promise]
  • Rebuild the front porch railing [Huh? I didn't know he was going to do this. I must have missed that memo.]
  • Install a storm door in the front [Because I need another pane of glass to clean dog slobber off of]
  • Rip out siding from screened in porch & replace it w/ pine sheets [Eventhough I objected. Probably BECAUSE I objected, now that I think about it]
  • … use the siding from screened in porch to repair bad spots in the siding on the rear of the house [What about the bad spots on the rear of your wife? There's some sagging going on she needs to tend to, did you buy any supplies to fix that?]
  • Build a dog door into the back wall of the porch [Yes. You heard him right. Created a dog door in a WALL.]
  • & create a mulch-filled planter box on the outside of the wall, so the dogs don’t break their legs from the drop-off. [Stupid dogs willl probably jump OVER it and break their backs instead]
  • Rescreen the porch and door (which the dogs shredded for us, hence the need for their own door)[Huh? What's wrong with the screen on the porch, no animals were jumping through that...I don't think]
  • Replace rotten wood on garage door and re-trim [I can't see that high up so I never noticed it]
  • Last but not least… Paint the house [the ENTIRE house. It's going to be a long summer.]