I just heard from Danny the Mechanic and he gave me a laundry list of things wrong with my car. I told him to just “check ‘er out” for me since she was there for the a/c issues. (Of course my car is a “she” - isn’t yours?) The a/c issues are actually going to cost us less than estimated at two other mechanics before. However, there are other issues that may need “tendin’ to.”
(I’m quoting because these are exact phrases used by Danny and myself. I tend to try to out-southern people when I talk to them, it’s a disease.)
“Ma’am, do you know your spark plugs are the same one that came on the vehicle (pronounce VEE-hicle)?”
“Oh Lord, I guess we need to get her some new ones then, don’t we?”
“That’s what I’d suggest, ma’am.”
Turns out my front brakes are “’bout 80% worn out” and my upper radiator hose is “swoled up bad.” But even with the “swoled” hose (get your mind out of the gutter!) and the spark plugs, we’re still looking at less than we expected for just fixing the a/c. Of course, I’m going to be without my car at least until tomorrow, but hell - when I get her back I don’t want no swoled nothin’ where it shouldn’t be swoled, you know?
(Must. Find. Normal. Voice.)
After Danny quickly read me the rather long list of things that need attention, I asked him a few questions regarding each of the items. “Once you put in a new High Side Line, Danny, will you be able to get a better picture of my compressor?” and “What are the range of transmission services you offer?” and “Should we replace both the upper and lower radiator hoses at the same time?” He was obviously impressed with my feedback and said:
“Ma’am? Are you taking notes? Because if you’re not you have an impressive memory.”
I hated to tell him that I was, in fact, taking notes because I’ll take any excuse to write things down with the ninety million awesome pens on my desk. And that the notes were color-coded and highlighted based on cost of service and level of necessity/urgency. I just don’t think that would impress a guy with grease under his nails and a socket wrench in his back pocket.
Teehee…BTW, I’m up for chauffeuring around the ever-famous Zoot if ya’d like.
You do the southern draw thing quite well Zoot!
If yeonta we could go cow tippin er sumthin. I’z just a thankin how much fun itd be. Watchin dem big ol heffers hit da ground. Hell we artta get us some beers at da quick mart too!
Did you tell him you were blogging it?
(I’m sorry, “blawgin’ it”)? THAT would impress him, I bet.
Well, I’m impressed, anyway.
ROTFL!! Cars suck…. but you made me laugh!
Thanks for the High School Musical suggestion. The kids liked it so much that they watched it while my hubby and I had some afternoon delight!!
And I can sympathize on the car issues.. it’ll be part of my (un) happy post about taking my son to camp. Ow.
I think the color coding might have sceered the poor boy.
girlfriend, you and I together in a southern drawl match would be a hysterical show!
This entry cracked me up. Hee!
Zoot,
Would you consider posting a picture of your awesome pen collection? I’m nosy. And, I like pens too. But, actually, I’m too cheap to buy all the pens I want, so if you would care to review your some of your favorite pens it might help me go out on a limb and buy an awesome pen or two. I’m an editor, and have need of good colored pens all the time.
Oh man HAHA!! I too take notes when I’m talking to people. Sadly I can never find any good pens.
I’m definitely impressed, though.
Oh, and my car’s a girl too…her name’s Angelina. My old car was an “old lady car”, so I named her Delores, but when I got my two door couple (silver.) (I’ve had the car three years, and I still love it.) I decided that it needed a “young, sexy name.” My friend Ryan suggested Angelina, and though I razzed him that he’d been watching too much Tomb Raider, it stuck!
I admire your ability to switch between these two languages so efficiently.