BlogHer 2006 – Almost as comfortable as getting an enema

So. The Alpha Mom interview. Sigh. Here’s the story:

Leah Peah was asked by Alpha Mom to do interviews of various bloggers. How in the hell I got on the list, I’ll never know, but I was so excited when I got the email from her regarding it, I might have peed a little bit. I’m sure I called everyone I knew to say, “GUESS WHAT?! I’m being interviewed!”

I’m kinda regretting that move now, because they’ll be expecting the link when the thing goes live. And I am thinking I’ll reveal that about the time I reveal the circumference of my thighs. Which is NEVER.

I was actually really nervous about meeting Leah. She is one of those writers who I’ve always thought had the power to change people’s lives with her stories. She writes so truthfully, her entries are so raw and honest and she has moved me with her words in ways few have. I just knew there would be an aura of wisdom around her that I could have only hoped to be permeated by. I was right.

Leah had emailed me the set of questions she would ask days before the actual interview. I memorized my answers and rehearsed giving them so often I could do it while sounding casual and relaxed. Little did I know how much would change when I got in front of a damn camera.

When I got to the appointment, Chris made me beautiful while Mario mic’d me up. It was very surreal because I felt kinda like a rock star. They sat me down and did a few sound checks while Leah got ready. Leah then made sure I had answers to all the questions, and I responded that I did. Because, well, I did. At that moment.

Unfortunately, somewhere between Leah explaining to me how I’d have to wait a beat after she asked the question before I answered and when Mario started filming, I forgot all of my answers. (I also forgot to wait a beat after the questions…because I’m an idiot.) I was unable to speak without saying the word, “Umm…” or “Like…” I also don’t think I used any words with more than two syllables and possibly the two-syllable ones were used incorrectly. Let’s just say I suffered a complete lack of any remotely intelligent conversational skills. All while Leah stayed poised and calm and intelligent and just all-around superb.

As Leah asked me the questions, I racked my brains for my well thought out answers. With most of them? I was quickly able to salvage the precontemplated answers into a mildly intelligent answer. MILDLY. Except, of course, for the question: What is your hot parenting tip?

I’m not even going to tell you what I said, because it was the ONLY thing I could think of since I had used it in a question earlier. And when the interview was almost over? I still couldn’t remember my pre-thought-out answer. And that night? I still couldn’t remember. As a matter of fact – I didn’t remember the answer until the next morning at the airport. My hot parenting tip: Keep a collection of old clothes and jewelery around for play time/dress-up. I mean, it’s not that hot of a tip, but it’s ten times better than the one I gave. I’m a MORON.

After the interview was over, Mario had to film me nodding. Yes, you heard me correctly – NODDING. It was hysterical. The footage would be spliced in with the rest of the interview later – and they did the same for Leah. Except – Leah had to do specific nods as Mario called them out, “Interested nod. Entertained nod. Concerned nod. etc” Leah then sent me off with some Alpha Mom swag as well as a rockin’ bracelet I have shown off to everyone, “Look! Leah made this! I’m so cool!” And yes, I’m well aware that declaring my own coolness is actually quite self-defeating, but I can’t quite help it.

All in all? It was an okay experience. Meeting Leah and the privilege of being interviewed made my fumbling during the interview seem less severe. I’m just praying Mario can perform some voodoo magic and make the final product make me look at least a little intelligent. If that’s at all possible.

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11 Responses

  1. Gigi says:

    Please (pretty please? with sugar on top?) give us a link to the interview when it’s ready.
    It wouldn’t be nice not to share : )

  2. sweetney says:

    this sounds EXACTLY like my experience, except i was slightly drunk to boot. oh and the makeup guy had left by the time i got there, so unlike everyone else i’m sure to be shiny AND incoherent. woohoo!

  3. Maria says:

    Oohh! I feel for you. I get exactly like this when I have to do any public speaking or speak in front of large groups.

  4. kristyk says:

    Yikes! When a researcher came to interview me [for the entire day!] I freaked out in front of the camera. She was all up in my face telling me to act natural. Yeah, right. I think at one point I even started crying uncontrollably. I’m praying that little episode won’t end up in the documentary! *sob, sob* I blog because I’m SCARED of REAL people *sob, sob*

    I’m sure you were great! Can’t wait for your HOT parenting tip!!

  5. Y says:

    Um, at least you did not PERFORM AN AEROBIC DANCE MOVED CALLED THE MONKEY for the camera.

    Sweet Jesus, I’m so scared to see the interview. SCARED.

  6. Bethiclaus says:

    I’m sure it wasn’t really as bad as it felt. We’re always hardest on ourselves. Besides, the people you’d be giving the link to love you and would tell you you were fantastic no matter what. That’s just the kind of friends we are.

  7. Moogie says:

    I know you did a fantastick job. You are a fantastic person, and that is sure to shine through. I’m so happy that you went ahead and did it. Just think of how easy it will be next time.

  8. Amalah says:

    They ran out of tape during my interview.

    THEY RAN. OUT OF TAPE. Because I would NOT STOP TALKING.

  9. Very Mom says:

    I kept seeing you around the blogher daycare, only I didn’t realize it was you, and I’m sure you’ve no idea who I am. Anyway, I’m an idiot when it comes to you know, talking to people. So. Hi. Also, are the interviews going to be on the Alphamom channel or on their website?

  10. leahpeah says:

    oh, kim. you were great! your eyes were sparkly and you sounded so intelligent. i can’t even believe you thought you didn’t do well. you sure didn’t look nervous. you’ll get to see it before it goes live if you want. but i have no idea in what order they will air or how long until they start. but i’ll let you know. thank you so much for sitting with me. i loved what you had to say.

  11. I had such a similar experience in my interview (and can I add – I was more flummoxed than you as to WHY ME) – I cannot remember a word that I said other than at the very end when Leah asked what question I sought the answer to and I blurted something about what to do about ENGORGED BOOBS OMFG and then ‘why am I so afraid?’ and then had to suck in my cheeks to keep from bursting into tears. And no, I was not drunk.

    Sounds like yours went well, though.

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