BlogHer 2006 – If I had a chance with the microphone

As many of you have read over the last few months, there has been a lot of analysis in the blogosphere of the word and the act of “Mommyblogging.” Are you a Mommyblogger? Is that a bad thing? What if you don’t write about your kids? What if someone uses it as an insult? What do you call yourself besides Hott Sexy Mama Who Blogs?

I have a short attention span and stopped caring about that debate/topic about the time I discovered that I can play games on my cell phone.

Well, I went to a Mommyblogging panel at BlogHer. The brilliant women on the panel were Mir, Sweetney, and Alice. I was really looking forward to that panel because I was hoping people would ask them the questions I wanted to hear answered.

(There was no way in hell I was going to ask because I’m a big fat chicken shit. If you doubt that? Just wait until you hear the story of The Time I Spoke To Dooce. Otherwise titled Why Am I Such A Goddamn Freak? or maybe Brit’s version titled Just Shut Up Already And Introduce Yourself to Her Because I’m Effin’ Sick Of Hearing You Talk About It. )

However, because of the recent debates over use of the word “Mommyblogger,” as well as the fact that some blogger posted an insulting post about Mommybloggers the night before the event – the panel turned out to be much more about the controversy instead of the act itself. Now – I completely understand this. Not everyone has adult onset ADD like I do and might actually not be done discussing these debates. But since I had already moved on in my head – I had some other things I wished to talk about.

SO! Without further ado – we are holding our own panel. Are you ready? I’m going to ask the questions and you’re going to respond. Either on your blog (if it inspires you to write about it) and you can leave a link. Or, just respond in the comments. I’ll post my responses and links to your entries about it later this week. Are you ready? Where’s the mic? tap, tap Is this thing on? Here we go…

1. Do your kids know about your blog? If they’re too young to know, do you plan to keep it open to them as they get older?

2a. If so – do you worry they may get embarrassed later? What would you do if they asked you to stop writing about them? What would you do if they wanted you to take it down all together?

2b. If not, what are you doing to make sure they never find it? What if they do find it?

3. Do you think our kids will appreciate the archive of their childhood? Do you wish your parents had done the same?

4. Do you go back and re-read your past parenting milestones? Do you realize you forgot a lot?

5. What about your children’s friends/teachers/moms-of-friends? What if they found your blog? Do you tell your child not to tell anyone about it or are they free to talk about it? Do you worry their teachers or other parents will think it’s weird?

Have at it!

56 Comments

56 thoughts on “BlogHer 2006 – If I had a chance with the microphone”

  1. My 23 and 24 year old ‘kids’ do know about my blog, and don’t mind that I write about them from time to time. They read my blog, as do their girlfriends, although it’s a good thing my oldest’s last girlfriend DIDN’T read my blog.

    There are some topics that I won’t blog about because they have a right to their private life. Doesn’t mean I don’t yack about it in private with my gal pals! Sheesh- boys and the things they do…

    I *wish* I had my blog when my kids were little, but Al Gore hadn’t invented the Internet yet (I kid, I kid…) Sigh…

    I know they’d love to have the stuff they did when they were little all written down and saved somewhere. I don’t think they would have appreciated it in the, say, 14-18 year-old years, but now they really like it when I tell stories of pen caps up their nose and stuff like that.

    For what it’s worth, I read a lot of mommy blogs because I love little kids and babies. There are some mommy blogs that make me cringe for the kid when they grow up, but yours isn’t one of them. You write with such love and respect for your kids, I know that they’ll treasure every word.

  2. My son is too young to know about my blog, but I’m sure he will know about it as he gets older and I’m sure it will embarrass him, but I’ll just tell him to get over it. It’s an outlet for me and the family loves it. (I grew up in a small town and by family I mean actual family and every one from my hometown.)

    I do wish my parents had done something similar and hope he appreciates it one day.

    I also occasionally re-read my posts, mainly to look at pictures of my son so small. (Bah, I can’t believe he is becoming a real boy already.)

    Also, pretty much all my friends know about my blog since I use it to keep everyone up on Thomas’ life. I write about the ones I know won’t mind, ask the ones I’m not sure about, and don’t write about the ones that wouldn’t like it.

    Not so interesting, but my answers.

  3. My kids know I have a website. But they’re not very interested. I was talking to my husband about my blog one day and one of my kids piped up, “You mean that one…’cool beans’?” I’ve told them we don’t really talk about it a lot because it’s like my diary and I want to be in charge of who knows about it. I’m lucky they’re disinterested.

    I don’t talk about my kids a ton on my blog so some of the later questions don’t quite fit me. I hope that what I do write is fair and more about my side of the situation than theirs. Alice (Finslippy) said something about writing about her experience of Henry and less about just Henry. (LeahPeah interview, I think.) I don’t always have that in my head when I write something about my kids, but that’s what I hope I’ll do.

    I mostly appreciate being able to look back at last month in my blog archives and confirm that we did take a kid to the ER that day. I use my blog for that too much. “Uh, what’s this bill for?” “Wait – I’ll check my blog.”

  4. In the beginning, only my husband knew. Then my brothers and my husnand’s brother were told and they created their own blogs. Then, somebody blabbed to my parents. That wigged me out a LOT. I got over it (mostly). Now I have started my two teens blogging and they both know about my blog. Since it is mostly about me, they don’t care and don’t read it. I’m not taking it down for anyone else, but I do use password-protection when I’m just venting.

  5. I’m not really sure if I fall into the “mommyblogging” category as I seem to be a bit different. I am raising my 16 year old sister (lovingly referred to as the “POD” or Princess of Darkness).

    I write about her quite a lot so I thought I might comment on a few of your questions.

    No, she does not know that I blog. I don’t even mention the word “blog” to her and fervently hope she does not stumble across it.

    I write about some very personal issues regarding her and I do get concerned about invading her privacy. However, it clearly doesn’t stop me. I do write under a pseudonym but I am not completely anonymous as several friends follow my blog.

    If the POD was to ask me to stop writing about her, I would reluctantly comply with her wishes but I don’t know that I would wipe out my previous work entirely.

    I hope one day that she is stable and mature enough to be told about my writings. I have this little dream where she’ll look back and chuckle at her teenage years and my record of them. But that is probably just wishful thinking!

    And good god, NO, I hope none of her friends’ parents EVER find about her weirdo sister who writes bizarre things for all to read.

    Good topic, Zoot!

  6. I’m having my baby tomorrow – a baby will shoot from some part of my body tomorrow – OH MY GOD, crap! I recently started up a blog, again, and haven’t fully gotten into the swing of it, but I started it so I had some way to document at least the first year of our lives together. I think tonight I will post about how excited/nervous/anxious I am feeling today and how much I can’t wait to have myself torn in half just to meet her.

    i hope I am able to stick with it better this time, as at least this time I have more motivation for keeping it going. Whereas in the past I blogged because I was bored and wanted to tell my friends about how bored I was all day long, and blogging was more fun than an email, and I got to clog the internet with mindless stuff about me :)

    I hope it’s something that has enough substance to it that she will eventually want to read it and I will want her to read it, and maybe one day she will thank me for sharing what life was like with her, or at least be thankful that she has a record of how much I screwed up when we were first learning how to be a mom , dad, and a kid together; thereby proving she needs to write off therapy as a medical necessity. And yes, I do wish my mom had done something similar. I ask her now “What was I like as a baby” and her response is often “Oh, I don’t know – baby-like. you cried, you pooped, you didn’t poop more than you’d poop though, you’d eat at odd times, never when I’d like you to…you made me crazy, but I loved you anyway.” I want to be able to tell our little girl a little more than she had abnormal bowels and she ate on her own terms, and I loved her in spite of those things.

    I haven’t shared my link with anyone yet as I am still getting my bearings with what I want to say down. I still feel like it is just for me so i can get out all my nervous blogging jitters…stupid, i know. And also, because I don’t’ post as much as I’d like to right now. And I know having a baby around frees up a world of time (hahaha) but I think having her will inspire me, and make me want to document things more frequently. Right now I feel like all I say is “come out baby” and “i ate this much today” or “i didn’t do a damn thing I wanted to do today” and I have a feeling that a year from now I really won’t care that I ate two packages of Krimpets and fell asleep for three hours. Well, maybe I WILL care, but then I will cry because days of three hour long naps will probably be a thing of the past that i will long for, and those two packs of krimpets are why none of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit anymore.

    When I feel ready to share my blog, I will – until then though, I’m keeping it under wraps – it’s like my own little online diary. If people stumble across it, fine – but I’m not advertising it until I’m ready for all the pains that can go along with blogging…(so, maybe never?)

    I love reading other “mommy-blogs” it has given me a glimpse into what life might be like, and what type of things I want to document, or not document in my own blog. Sure I’ll share the embarrassing stories, but mainly I want to capture the little stuff that you know you’ll forget…like how you knew it would be a hard job, but never, ever expected it to be quite like THIS…

    i hope I am able to stick with it better this time, as at least this time I have more motivation for keeping it going. Whereas in the past I blogged because I was bored and wanted to tell my friends about how bored I was all day long,and blogging was more fun than an email, and I got to clog the internet with midless stuff about me :)

    I hope it’s something that has enough substance to it that she will eventually want to read it and I will want her to read it, and maybe one day she will thank me for sharing what life was like with her, or at least be thankful that she has a record of how much I screwed up when we were first learning how to be a mom , dad, and a kid together; thereby proving she needs to write off therepy as a medical necessity. And yes, I do wish my mom had done something similar. I ask her now “What was I like as a baby” and her responce is often “Oh, I don’t know – baby-like. you cried, you pooped, you didn’t poop more than you’d poop though, you’d eat at odd times, never when I’d like you to…you made me crazy, but I loved you anyway.” I want to be able to tell our little girl a little more than she had abnormal bowels and she ate on her own terms, and I loved her inspite of those things.

    I haven’t shared my link with anyone yet as I am still getting my bearings with what I want to say down. I still feel like it is just for me so i can get out all my nervous blogging jitters…stupid, i know. And also, because I dont’ post as much as I’d like to right now. And I know having a baby around frees up a world of time (hahaha) but I think having her will inspire me,and make me want to document things more frequently. Right now I feel like all I say is “come out baby” and “i ate this much today” or “i didn’t do a damn thing I wanted to do today” and I have a feeling that a year from now I really won’t care that I ate two packages of Krimpets and fell asleep for three hours. Well, maybe I WILL care, but then I will cry because days of three hour long naps will probably be a thing of the past that i will long for, and those two packs of krimpets are why none of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit anymore.

    When I feel ready to share my blog, I will – until then though, I’m keeping it under wraps – it’s like my own little online diary. If people stumble across it, fine – but I’m not advertising it until I’m ready for all the pains that can go along with blogging…(so, maybe never?)

    I love reading other “mommy-blogs” it has given me a glimpse into what life might be like, and what type of things I want to document, or not document in my own blog. Sure I’ll share the embaressing stories, but mainly I want to capture the little stuff that you know you’ll forget…like how you knew it would be a hard job, but never, ever expected it to be lquite like THIS…

    (I may end up C&Ping this to my blog now.)

  7. Wow – i messed up my C&P from my word doc somewhere. So sorry Zoot!

    this is why I haven’t shared my link yet – I can’t even get the hang of how to properly use my CTRL and P buttons together…

  8. 1. My kids are too young to know/care about my blog. It would be neat to let them know about my blog one day so they can think their mom is way cool.

    2a. I could see where they would be embarassed. If they asked me to take it down I probably would but then start another one that they didn’t know about and just not mention them – altough it would suck.

    3. Yes, they better appreciate the archive of their lives!! I put a lot into this stuff! I so wish that my parent’s could have done this for me.

    4. I forget everything.

    5. I think I would feel kind of weird knowing that other people like that read my blog. I don’t really care people reading it – I just don’t want to come off as being lame or stupid or some mom trying to be cool (although I so don’t have to try, you know…). It kind of freaks me out that my mom will occasionally read it – but the bottom line is that it is mine and I should be able to do what I want. Unfortunately I am such a people pleaser and I don’t want to offend anyone…

    This is a great idea by the way…

  9. My daughter is obviously to young to know about my site but I do intend to share with her what I have written. I began my site to keep my friends and family in the loop of my life as they live hours away from me. But then both of my parents were diagnosed with Cancer and it morphed into something new. Now that I am a Mom, I enjoy the connections that I have made with other Moms. I’ve enjoyed looking through my archives and reliving some of the moments I have already forgotten about, especially those early days of learning to be a Mom and living with a newborn. I also wrote a lot about my pregnancy which helped when I went to do my daughters Scrapbook as I marked each pregnancy milestone. I do hope my daughter appreciates all of the memories that I kept for her. Growing up, my parents have very few tangible items from my childhood. I have held tightly to the few things that they did have. I vowed to give my kids more. I have a memory box for my daughter, scrapbooks full of stories of life before she came, and of course my site. I began all this journaling when I was 12 years old, I have always been ahead of my time!

  10. I agree, I think that discussing the “controversy” gave those who bash mommy blogging too much credit. It was a shame it went the way it did… maybe we can change that for BlogHer 2007?

    1. I think my older son knows about my blog. But does he care? Naw. I don’t think he really knows what a blog IS anyhow. But as he gets older then yes, he’ll be aware of it.

    2a. He may be embarassed. But that’s a parent’s job… to embarass her child. ;) I wouldn’t stop writing, but I might stop including certain things if they made him uncomfortable. But I will never, ever take down my blog unless its something *I* want to do.

    3. I think it would have been cool, to have something I could go back and look at and see that HEY, I did that to my parents too. It might have been cool, it might have been creepy. I think any sort of archive of someone’s life is a good thing to have, far more than it being a bad thing.

    4. I haven’t been blogging for super long, but already I’ve gone back and read things that I’d already forgotten and I’m very glad to have the opportunity to note things down “for posterity”. Blogging captures the emotion of the moment more than anything else (such as photos) so it’s really awesome to be able to re-experience that emotion.

    5. I doubt Harry will ever advertise that I have a blog.. but if they find it.. they find it. I won’t tell him NOT to tell anyone, I’ll leave that up to him. I’d hate to think of soemone using it as ammo against him (in a bullying sort of manner), so that’s a tough one. But I definitely don’t worry about someone thinking it’s weird. That’s their problem if they’re that closed-minded. ;)

  11. 1. My son is too young to know about his mama’s blog but I plan on telling him about it someday.

    2. Yep, he’ll be embarrassed and then we can all enjoy being embarrassed together as a family.

    3. I’m certain he’ll enjoy it though. It’s all about him (mostly…at the moment anyway). I wish my parents had archived my childhood so well. Would be incredible to read.

    4. When I go back and re-read prior postings, I do a lot of forehead slapping and then I blame the tone of the posting (or topic, etc.) on hormones (or lack thereof).

    5. Hmmmm…I’ve never thought about the fact that my child could go around someday talking about “mommy’s blog” but most people can’t spell it anyway so no biggie. I enjoy writing, venting, sharing and I hope all that read it get something out of it. Onward!

  12. After reading all of the comments, I feel as though I should have something prolific to say here.

    What I want to say is that I think we are all learning about boundaries as far as are children or whatever goes here on the internet. This is still such new territory.

    As for you, I think you are wonderful. I am so glad you sat right in front of me during that very hot session. You are so cool.

  13. First of all…dude..you know all the cool kids. SUPERSTAH..and they comment on your blog. Shazam.

    Secondly to build off of what Beth at Crazy us said it is new territory. But will it be by the time my kids are old enough to read back through the archives? Maybe it will be commonplace by then. My husband pointed out that we are the first generation to have pictures taken of ourselves from birth to now…our parents have (if not albums) hundreds of pictures of us, that never happened before.

    Our kids will have the ability to google themselves and find out what we were all about. My fear would be that maybe relationships would be less honest? That is a whole other post though.

    For me. I’m happy to have this record of my life, i’ve always been a journaler. (word?) I love to look back at my journals. Now I can journal with pictures and links. I love that. I was so frustrated on the plane yesterday while I was writing becasue I couldn’t just link to people…i had to make a note to look something up.

  14. I answered them on my blog too.

    Excerpt:
    3. Do you think our kids will appreciate the archive of their childhood? Do you wish your parents had done the same?

    I have a baby book , but it’s not of my entire childhood. I’m not sure I would have wanted them to record some of the things that happened. (See: vacation entry) I’m sure there were lots of funny/cute things that I did that are lost forever that I would like to know about. Like when my Mom found me closed up in the bathroom with the unlit gas heather on and I told her I was, “Going to meet Jesus.” You can’t put that in a baby book, but I can see that as a blog entry.

  15. I don’t have kids so I am not a mommyblogger (please don’t shoot me) but I have a question.

    I realize that every mommy out there will do anything to protect her kids, and many of you publish under pseudonyms but doesn’t putting photos/details of your new born/toddler/child on the web publicly make you nervous?

    I have photos of myself and adult members of my family but I wonder if public photos (i.e. not in Flickr marked Friends and Family) doesn’t pose some kind of risk, especially if you are a well known Mommyblogger? Just wondering.

  16. I don’t have kids so I am not a mommyblogger (please don’t shoot me) but I have a question.

    I realize that every mommy out there will do anything to protect her kids, and many of you publish under pseudonyms but doesn’t putting photos/details of your new born/toddler/child on the web publicly make you nervous?

    I have photos of myself and adult members of my family but I wonder if public photos (i.e. not in Flickr marked Friends and Family) doesn’t pose some kind of risk, especially if you are a well known Mommyblogger? Just wondering.

    I did not post this on my blog because I don’t think very many mommybloggers read my site and this seemed like a good add on. Zoot if it bugs ya – just yank it down!

  17. 1. At this point, I do plan to keep my blog open to my son. I may have to rethink my use of foul language, though.

    2a. If my son doesn’t want me to write about him, then I will stop. If he wants me to delete/edit my archives, I would be willing to do that. However, I do hope to raise my son with a healthy sense of humor that allows him to poke fun at himself. It’s sort of a “family thing” anyway, so he will need it for Survival. :-)

    3. I hope my son appreciates it, but honestly, I am doing this for myself, not him. Would I have liked it if my own parents had done this? I am not sure – maybe. However, they were divorced when I was 12, didn’t get along very well while married and I am not sure I would really want to remember all that anyway.

    4. YES AND YES. I am SO glad I blog. My pregnancy was one of the very happiest times of my entire life (I think for once, all my hormones were lined up correctly or something). I LOVE that I have documented such a delicious time in my life. These first nine months have been the 2nd happiest time of my life so far and I am very grateful to have found blogging as a way of documenting it.

    5. Well, some of my son’s friends’ mother DO know about because I have mentioned it. I am not sure I would want them reading it, though. I tend to have a very crass and crude sense of humor that I am not always comfortable sharing with people in Real Life.

    Thanks for bringing up these questions – I was also disappointed that they were addressed at that session (they were discussed LAST year, too). I needed to think about them now that I actually have a baby in my arms. I will definitely be thinking about them even more as time goes by.

  18. 1. No, they have no clue. .

    2a. I’ll write what I want. They can get their own blog and write whatever they want.

    3. Yes! I think this is amazing! I think they will really dig it.

    4. All the time! I think about what I stress about at the time. I manage to get through everything.

    5. If they don’t like it, they dont have to read it!

  19. hey there! although i don’t know too much about the controversy, i’m pretty sure i’m what people think of when the term mommy blogger comes up. i started my baby’s blog to keep friends and family in the loop since most of them don’t live that close. i’m careful about what i write because my grandma, extended (and some unknown) in-laws and friends/aquaintances i haven’t seen in years check it (thanks mom for telling everyone you know). i used it as a means of mass communication (ha, like i’m really all that popular or anything). it’s also like a traveling baby book, which is pretty cool. anyway, to answer your questions:
    1. since i’m using the blog as somewhat of a detailed baby book, i plan to print and bind it each year for my daughter to keep. so, obviously, she’ll know about it.
    2. she’ll probably be embarassed by something i write at some point in her life, i’m her mom, someday just my presence will send her into hiding, humiliated beyond recognition. but, i really don’t know how long i’ll keep it up, i’m still such a beginner and new to the whole blogging world.
    3. i hope she appreciates it! that’s why i’m doing it. so i don’t forget anything. also, my husband’s mother passed away when he was young and all we have to remember his babyhood (is that a word?) and childhood by are pictures and his baby book. through her words and style of writing, i felt like i got to know his mom a little just by flipping through his book. we both are so grateful that she did this so that some stories and memories were documented. i wish i had a more detailed picture of what life was like for my mom and i when i was a baby too.
    4. ahhhh, i love to go back! i look at how she has changed and grown and how i’ve managed to learn a thing or two in the process as well. it makes me appreciate all that she can do now.
    5. i became a blogger because a friend of mine set one up for me. i check my friend’s blogs all the time and they check mine. like i said earlier, my mom passes out the blog address to anyone who will listen, so all sorts of different people who know me on various levels check. i have to say i do censor (sp?) my words a lot given the audience. i think some of my high school and college friends do think it’s a bit wierd or overboard to blog, but who knows.
    i’m interested to see what all everyone else has to say about the subject :)

  20. 1. I started my blog to chronicle my pregnancy for our family members that live around the world. It was the best thing I ever did. My son is now 7 weeks old so no, he does not know about it yet. I definitely want him to know about it and to hopefully get a kick out of how much of a lunatic I was while pregnant with him. I of course still write everyday about what goes on in our lives and the amazing things he does everyday.

    2. I hope he wouldn’t get embarrassed about it. I think as he grows up he will know what type of person I am and where each comment or action came from. Plus, this blog was made for the intent to keep family and friends in the loop of what was going on with my pregnancy and our lives. I think he could appreciate that.

    3. For sure! I would have loved it if my parents had done something like this. My mom couldn’t even fill out my baby book past page three!

    4. I do go back and re-read some of my posts. Though they are about my pregnancy, I did forget a lot that happened and alot of the emotions I experienced.

    5. Geez that is a good question! I am not sure what I would tell him to do. I know I do talk a lot of shit sometimes so that would worry me if a teacher read it. I would hate to have to censor myself. As it is I wish I could talk about how bat shit crazy my mother in law is… and I can’t. :) As far as his friend’s parents reading it, I could care less and they can kiss my arse!

  21. Oh yeah, I so DO write about my kids. Do they know? Dan 32, JOrdan19 and Sophie 17 know and tcould care less because we all know that big kids know their mothers have no sense of humour and anyway they know nothing so they can’t possible be telling the world anything of interest , bless, let her write, it keeps her happy.
    Seth 5, Isaac 4 and Eli 3….they are too busy flooding bathrooms, writing on walls, making each other snort and shriek by saying ‘boob’ and’ bum’ and heaven forbid ‘Willy’, to care about what I could be telling the world.
    When I die and they find I printed what I wrote and read it…well then it’ll be too late to be mad at me, they will know that I adore them, even if I did tell the world every stinky thing they ever did to me!

  22. OK, I’m back (5 minutes later, one week late), and these questions are so pressing upon my brain right now that I’m going spew forth on them here, in two parts:

    Part 1 – I am certain that someday WonderBaby will appreciate the record of her life, and the record of my thoughts and ideas as her mother. I blog about much more than her daily life – in fact, some weeks go by with only pictures of her, while the writing veers off in other direction – and so it may not be the most comprehensive record, but it is a record of my state of mind during her childhood. I wish that I had such a record of and from my mother, and of and from my grandmother. I might not have appreciated it when I was ten, but in my thirties? Priceless priceless priceless priceless. I’m hoping and betting that my daughter will one day feel the same way.

    Part 2 – In the early days of the blog, I told everybody – friends, family, postal workers. Then I found that I couldn’t be as open on some topics because I was afraid of offending/hurting/revealing. I now wish that I had kept my mouth shout, and will keep my mouth shout in future, with WB’s friends and teachers and neighbours, etc, etc. (I started the Basement – http://www.herbadmother.blogspot.com – as a secret space to write freely about my struggles with issues involving friends and family, but they found me there and so I turned it over to the blogger community. Which has turned out to be a wonderful thing, but I still wish that I had kept my mouth shut and my circle tighter so that I could tell more stories more openly.)

    So this would be my question back at our panel – a twist on your questions, Zoot – what are you afraid to write about, as a “mommyblogger,” and why? (Because I know – from the number of submission that I get in the Basement – that moms, and some dads, are afraid to write openly about many things. What I’d like to know is, why? Concern about children’s privacy? About hurting loved ones? About opening oneself up to judgment?)

    I know that I’m late to this discussion, and so probably shouting into the void – but this is what I’d be shouting at this panel, so there you go…

  23. This is so great – I am also sick of the debate (despite the fact that I wrote about it last week. But hey, that was last week. This is a short attention span society and we share your a.d.d.)

    I too was hoping some of these questions would have gotten addressed at the panel and love reading these responses now. I’ll have to think about my own. Hm.

  24. I’ll be posting my repsonse on my blog tomorrow, too, but here are my answers:

    1. Do your kids know about your blog? If they’re too young to know, do you plan to keep it open to them as they get older?

    Dawson is only 23 months old, so he knows Mommy types on that keyboard thing a lot, but he doesn’t understand what a blog is. I think he thinks it’s fun to run past me and hit the ESC key simply because I told him “Don’t touch that button!” I do plan to let him know about my blogging as soon as he’s old enough to read. I think that will be age three considering how smart he is now. Maybe I can teach him to read now? What do you think? High expectations on my part?

    2a. If so – do you worry they may get embarrassed later? What would you do if they asked you to stop writing about them? What would you do if they wanted you to take it down all together?

    I don’t worry that Dawson will become embarrassed because I’m not writing anything that will damage his psyche or self-esteem in anyway. I’m positive he’ll see this blog as a reflection of my parenting. My frustrating moments as well as all the happy and positive moments. The good days are definitely astronomical compared to the bad. I think that’s normal. But normal is such a generic word. I think it’s common to share some off kilter moments.

    3. Do you think our kids will appreciate the archive of their childhood? Do you wish your parents had done the same?

    I think our parents archived the first-born child’s milestones more than their younger siblings. And they used baby books and often forgot to write in them or to take pictures. Not only has blogging become a big past time for me, but scrapbooking, too. I’m a camera nazi. I have albums galore for Dawson. I just have to make sure to document the lives of my other children, when I have them, of course

    .4. Do you go back and re-read your past parenting milestones? Do you realize you forgot a lot?

    I find myself re-reading my posts a lot. Simply because I’m always afraid I said something stupid or because I’ll find minor spelling or punctuation mistakes and my brain won’t rest until they are fixed. I don’t really forget too much. I’ve got a good memory for writing. It’s talking that makes me forget what to say.

    5. What about your children’s friends/teachers/moms-of-friends? What if they found your blog? Do you tell your child not to tell anyone about it or are they free to talk about it? Do you worry their teachers or other parents will think it’s weird?

    I don’t write anything that I will be ashamed of later. I usually use pseudonyms for people that I am unsure of when writing. I don’t want to offend, but I do want to be honest and write what I experience. It’s a fine line to cross I suppose and I’m sure I’ll cross it eventually. I try not to write anything that I wouldn’t tell someone face to face. I guess if I really needed to vent I’d have to open an anonymous venting blog. Hey! That’s a good idea!

  25. These are excellent questions, and i have been enjoying reading the responses. These are things every mom/dad should think through BEFORE starting a blog, and as many of the responses show, I think there are a lot who wish they had done things differently. I blog mostly about kids’ media, and the longer I have been blogging, the more I have shyed away from talking about really personal stuff.

    I worry about some of the moms who post such personal stuff without completely hiding their identity – what if they want to go back to work someday, what if some nut finds them, what if some friend/family member finds the blog and is completely offended, what if something they wrote is taken out of context and published elsewhere?

    Since starting my blog last fall, I’ve thought on and off about starting another one, where i’m completely anonymous and can talk about all the really raw, honest parts of me. But haven’t taken that step yet.

    1. My older son knows about my blog. He thinks it’s pretty cool. He likes to mention it to people, and it makes me nuts.

    3. I think they will appreciate looking back on this someday, even thought it’s not all about them – more about the music, movies, TV of their childhood. I also keep scrapbooks and digital photo slideshows (with music and video) for them – those, to me, are more the keepsakes that I want them to treasure. Those things are just too private for me to make public.

    5. I’ve just started getting more comfortable telling IRL people about my blog. My siblings and friends have known for a while, but I’m just reaching the point of being ready to tell teachers, neighbors, etc.

    Thank you for starting and encouraging this discussion!

  26. 1. Do your kids know about your blog? If they’re too young to know, do you plan to keep it open to them as they get older?

    Nicholas is too young but he will eventually know of the blog. Writing is a big part of who I am and I want to share that with him. I’ve written some good stuff… and some stuff that will embarass the pants off of him in those awful teen years. But eventually he may (or may not) appreciate it.

    2a. If so – do you worry they may get embarrassed later? What would you do if they asked you to stop writing about them? What would you do if they wanted you to take it down all together?

    Ha! Just said that. Yes. I consciously make an effort not to post overtly embarassing pictures. But, honestly, a lot of this stuff is just good for him to read in the future. No, he won’t like it when he’s a teen. And, as his father and I both write in journals, I’ll just buy him a journal and say, “Write about how angry you are that your Mommy is a dweeb. Feel free to publish it on the internet but, since your’e a minor, I’ll be watching it. So don’t call me too many names.”

    2b. If not, what are you doing to make sure they never find it? What if they do find it?

    N/A for us. I don’t like secrets within the family.

    3. Do you think our kids will appreciate the archive of their childhood? Do you wish your parents had done the same?

    I hope. I wish my Mom had done a better job. She did okay. Perhaps that’s why I’m overzealous in doing all of this for my Son. Who knows. I’m strange.

    4. Do you go back and re-read your past parenting milestones? Do you realize you forgot a lot?

    Yes. It’s how I update the actual babybook. ;)

    5. What about your children’s friends/teachers/moms-of-friends? What if they found your blog? Do you tell your child not to tell anyone about it or are they free to talk about it? Do you worry their teachers or other parents will think it’s weird?

    As I live in an area where babywearing is considered abnormal, I’m sure some would think it was weird. Our family who isn’t exactly on the up and up with technology loves it as they can keep up to date with things. I’m sure we may run into an issue with a teacher or something but, those are bridges to be crossed later.

    Great questions.

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