I have my video interview for Alpha Mom today at 9:50am (California Time). I feel really weird about it because the interview list is damn intimidating. It’s like a “Who’s Who” of bloggers and I know several of you like to feed my ego by telling me I belong there - but have y’all read my blog? I’m kinda mundane. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love talking about boob sweat - that’s my life - but I’m not really inspirational, or wicked funny, or even really able to use big words correctly. I feel kinda like the token dork to meet some sort of Blah Quota that Alpha Mom must be contractually obligated to fill.

So, I’ll let you know when and where that pops up for your viewing pleasure. Hell, I’m looking forward to the chance to have someone do my damn makeup for me. I’ll be sure to take lots of pictures afterwards. I hope I don’t send the make-up guy running in fear from my eyebrows. Maybe he’ll see me as a challenge to embrace and not a lost cause.

• I finished and if the compliments I got from my workshop is any indication? I was FIRE HOT, I tell you! They loved me! They threw bras and panties at me on stage and asked me to autograph their chest. No, no they didn’t. But they did say I did a good job and that’s good enough for me.
• Hugging amalah was like finally hugging a sister I hadn’t seen in years. Now, if only I could find her again since she’s disappeared amongst the masses.
• Yvonne is totally as hot in person as she is online.
• Marilyn and Brit saved me for losing my swag bag, my cell phone (twice), my bag, my camera, and my mind.
• The Blogher daycare is tons of fun and LilZ had a ball this morning! Yay for guilt-free babysitting.

So far, so good. Kinda.

Well - I’ve already met three bloggers face-to-face. First? I was talking to two women at the Atlanta airport yesterday as we waited for our VERY DELAYED flight. As we were talking, we eventually figured out we were all going to Blogher and it got very surreal and OHMIGOD THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING there for a minute. Those two women? The lovely Mom, Ma’am, Me and Table for Five.

Then, after we finally made it to the hotel (flying with an infant? STUPID AS HELL. I will not dwell on how stressful it was or I may never fly home) and got settled in (read: put on jammies and take off bra) Brit came over and brought me diet coke and then I kissed her and gave her my children as gifts. Okay, maybe not, but the joy at having those diet cokes almost made me do it.

I’m still sick to my stomach with faulty nerves and NikkiZ did NOT sleep well last night and I’m kinda feeling a little bat-shit KRAZEE right now and OHMIGOD I’M FINALLY HERE.

I’m going to go throw up now. Thanks.

• How does my infant demon child know that the last 24 hours were/are critical in terms of Mommy Needs To Do Important Things time? Because she slept HORRIBLY last night and has wanted to be held (by ME) every time she wakes up. It’s hard to pack and hold a sleeping baby at the same time.
• Is it possible to paint one’s toenails without getting polish on the skin? If you can do this? You are dead to me.
• I realized this morning I have nine million pens, four thousand highliters, and NO folders. So my Blogher prep stuff is in a Fantastic Four folder. Does that scream “Professional!” enough for you?
• Is it too excessive or paranoid to bring TWO laptops in case one craps out? I’ve not had a good run with technology lately.
• Is it just me or is the taste of the first cup of coffee in the morning one of the most amazing tastes in the world? I mean - it almost makes the three hours sleep I had last night seem like enough! ALMOST.
• Am I an idiot for promising to work half a day today? Nevermind, I know the answer to that one: Yes. Yes I most certainly am.

I’m being interviewed (on camera!) at BlogHer by Leah Peah for Alpha Mom and I’m so proud of myself for not freaking out about this before. I’m trying to be all cool and “no big deal…it’s only 15 minutes…” about it on the outside, but on the inside? I’m all “ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod” about it. And I don’t really fake coolness well.

Leah sent an email out to all of us being interviewed and it mentioned appropriate colors/clothing that will look good on camera. Pointers: Solids not Patterns. No Black, White, or Red. Jewel tones are good.

Here’s the problem: I have a limited selection of tops since my boobs are a bit bigger now than in my normal life. (Woo!) I haven’t wanted to buy too many new tops since they’ll disappear (the boobs, not the tops) after I’m done nursing, so my selection is minimal. And all of my tops? Are either patterned, black, white, red or workout clothes. So - I set out to buy a nice top on my lunch break. What did I learn? I have no clue what a jewel tone is. I mean, I know some colors that ARE jewel tones: burganday, teal, okay - that’s it. But I’m certain there are others - what are they? Why am I such an idiot?

I ended up getting a solid navy blue top. Is that a jewel tone? If not? Tell me it is so I’ll feel better.

As if buying a new top for an interview I’ll be doing (on camera!) isn’t freaky enough, I also ran into another blogger while I was at Target. Poor Michelle had to listen to me ramble about the mystery of jewel tones for a good 15 minutes. And then? When I was going to my car? Brit called me. I’ve given my cell phone number out to so many people in the last few days (and have I programmed any of theirs in? No, of course not) that I answered it even though I didn’t recognize the area code. It was so weird talking to her - I guess I’d better get used to that. At least she didn’t have to hear my panicked jewel tone confusion. Instead, she got to hear how much of a moron I am as I said, “Um…I just realized, should I take NikkiZ’s car seat?” because if there’s anything I am - it’s prepared.