I’ve been avoiding talking about Blogher because I’m so SCARED. Have I mentioned how TERRIFIED I am? FREAKED THE EFF OUT? AAAHHHH.

But, I leave tomorrow, so I guess I should talk about it. A little bit.

MrZ will not be going with us since he will be heading south to Slidell for his Grandmother’s funeral services. I will be flying across country with two kids and no other adults to help. This may kill me sometime around Dallas, so be prepared. Either that or you’ll read about me dumping my kids off with some stranger while I hit Happy Hour at the airport bar.

I arrive in San Jose Thursday night, too late to make it too the speaker meet-up which really upsets me because I was hoping to use that chance to meet the women that I will be speaking with the next morning. It’s going to be weird sharing a workshop with women I just met - lucky for them I’m insanely hyper so it won’t give me time to freak them out at all.

So - are you going? Let me know if you are so we can try to meet up. If you’re not? Why not? I need all the support I can get! And if you’re flying across country to San Jose on Delta email me. If we’re on the same flight I’m totally making you help me with my luggage. Thanks!

I was just thinking about my grandparents and trying to muster up some memories of each of them since they are all gone. I thought it would be a nice little tribute to share some of my favorite grandparent moments in honor of grandmas and grandpas worldwide.

My paternal Grandfather (”Grandpa”) died in 2000. He was in his 90s and had lived a long and surprisingly healthy life. When LilZ was little, Grandpa picked him up by putting a hand on each side of LilZ’s head, over the ear. I tried my best not to have a heart-attack watching him do it. My Dad told me later that no one stopped him because he evidently did it to us all when we were kids. It was like a tradition of sorts. I remember one summer when he was in his 80s, we went out to the fields with him to bale hay. He demonstrated by jumping off the trailer and grabbing a bale and throwing it back up on the trailer and riding to the next one. Remember - he was EIGHTY PLUS SOME and when I tried to do it? I nearly killed myself. There I was in my 20s and he was besting me, 60 years older. He always had a plate of white bread in front of him at dinner so he could use it to soak up whatever juices lingered on his plate. When I’m not dieting? I like to do the same thing. I read The Giving Tree at his funeral at the request of my family. It was an honor.

His wife, my “Grandma” died in 2002. She was just the quintessential hardworking southern grandmother. She knew how to cook meals for 40+ people at reunions yet never seemed stressed or concerned about not having enough food. And there was always enough. She was resourceful and made clothes out of any scrap material she could find for a good price. She made us foot-shaped rugs to take home one summer out of some faux fur she had lying around. She was a self-sufficient and an amazing woman. None of her sewing or cooking skills got passed down to me because my Dad knew my failures would provide him laughter later in life. (Smart man.) I took LilZ with me to see Grandma one summer when we were going to prep their house to sell since Grandma had been moved to an assisted living facility. LilZ found a giant tin of various buttons and he thought he had died and gone to heaven it was such a neat treasure. He still has it and I’m sure she is proud of that. Collecting those things in a tin for all those years (I think my Dad may have the same type of collection) did not go unnoticed. I read The Giving Tree at her funeral too.

My maternal grandfather (”Pop”) died when I was in the 5th grade and I did a reading at his funeral. I remember enough about him to know that I got my smart-assedness (and my word-inventedness) from my Mom’s side of the family. I was his first (and obviously his FAVORITE and I will argue that to the grave because come ON - I was ADORABLE) grandchild. He would play Trivial Pursuit with my brother and I and he would obviously cheat, probably because he knew we were too polite to point out he was cheating. And then? He would loudly accuse us of cheating and it cracked us up. He sang at our church and all of my friends thought he was blind because he wore sunglasses in church. The rumor is he wore them so he could sleep during service and no one would know. But really? I don’t know why he wore them.

His wife, my maternal grandmother (”Mo”), died when I was a Junior in high school and I read at her funeral as well. She was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Her clothes were always pressed and she always looked gorgeous. Where the hell were those genes when I needed them during puberty? Jeez. I called her “Mo” and would go to church with her on the Sundays I was at my Moms house. We would go to McDonalds after church and gossip about my friends parents. She would always order each of us a hamburger and it amazed me that she even looked ladylike and fancy eating a hamburger. We all know how I obviously did NOT get any sort of grace or poise from her. I’m sure she rolls over in her grave each time she sees me spill something on my clothes. She’s somewhere minus her corporeal frame, thinking, “That’s my granddaughter - the one with the boob-sweat stains on her blouse. I’m so proud.”

Thank you for all of your prayers/thoughts etc regarding MrZ’s grandmother this week. She had a massive heart attack in the middle of the night and passed away about an hour ago. Most of the immediate family was able to say goodbye to her, so there is that to be thankful for. She’s had a long several years, and I guess they all seek comfort in knowing she finally has a break from the pain and suffering.

To bring you up to speed: I bake about as well as I sew (not at all), but I can cheat like a damn professional.

LilZ was invited to a small back-to-school bash last night that he was VERY proud he got invited to. I understood why when I saw all the cute girls there when we pulled up. Jeez…when I was in 6th grade? I was not at all pretty - what do these girls know that I didn’t?

Anyway…he wanted me to bake the muffins I sent with him to camp that everyone loved. BUT - Target was out of the Ghiradelli mix. I offered to make Ghiradelli brownies, but he chose the HERSHEY muffin mix instead and y’all? Those were good too! What is it with muffin mixes and them being so DAMN YUMMY nowadays? He said that everyone raved on those as well and one person even asked if they were from a “Secret Recipe or something?” I guess they wanted to know to see if it was worth asking me for it.

LilZ, being the rockin’ kid he is said, “I don’t know…” Hee! It is a secret! What box of mix do I use? And do I use water from the tap or from the filter? And the egg! Do I use a Large or JUMBO? YOU’LL NEVER KNOW!

Update on MrZ’s Grandma -
In order to prep her for possible amputation of the leg, she underwent a procedure tonight to prep her leg and her body for surgery and healing. We just received word that she came out of all of that okay and will be monitored for the next day (days?) or so before proceeding with the amputation. Thanks for your prayers.

I am worried about MrZ as he is worried about his grandmother, his mother, and all of their family. So, of course, I offer the only solution to stress I know: EATING.

We are taking LilZ to a party and then I’m taking MrZ to Brueggers for dinner. I’m hoping good food (notice I didn’t offer to cook for him) will soothe his soul. If not? Maybe I can just insist he stare at this freaky picture of me that LilZ took last week. Because if that’s not distracting, I don’t know what is.

(This is my attempt at asking for more prayers - if you have any left. We’re not the praying type, but I know many of you are, thanks.)