Let’s get back to my favorite topic, shall we? If I ruled the world…
I think I would like to make a policy on my planet that people can be jailed and possibly flogged for spitting out their gum anywhere other than a trash receptacle. I stepped on another piece of damn gum today, for…like the third time in just a few weeks. This pisses me off to no end because, really, are you ever that far from a garbage can? If you’re in a parking lot, chances are there’s a trashcan within about 15 feet of you. Probably inside of the establishment whose parking lot you just spit your gum on. It’s damn near impossible to get gum off of shoes with a lot of tread, which of course, is what I’m wearing today. DAMMIT.
Other things punishable by flogging?
- Wearing too much perfume.
- Stealing my favorite pens.
- Running out of Diet Coke.
I’m sure there are more I could add…but that ought to do for now.
totally with you on the perfume and pens thing! i hate walking in a room, or passing by someone, and getting a whiff of something that will totally make me dizzy!
How about tossing your cigarette out the window of your car? Isn’t there an ashtray in that vehicle? That drives me crazy. My husband will put out his cigarette and put the butt in his pocket if he isn’t near a garbage can. That’s dedication to the earth.
My husband and I switched tables in the middle of a meal last week because some dudes reeking of gonna-try-and-git-me-some-later stank and their dates invaded our smell zone. When you can’t smell Italian food as its entering your mouth, you know it’s bad.
Flogging indeed.
I really wish that people could smell themselves as others smell them, and then they might not be so quick to take a bath in their stanky cologne or perfume.
Please include people who do not throw away trash at fast food restaurants.
But pen thieves should definitely be at the top of the list.
OOOOO….better one….people who don’t give you the “thank you” wave after you let them merge in front of you in traffic. Skip flogging and go straight to firing line.
I stepped in gum last week, and was really mad about it, and my husband didn’t understand why I was so mad. Then the next day he stepped in this huge wad of it and was really mad. I call it karma.
i definitely hear you, although i’m much more a diet pepsi fan myself…
I’m sooooo with you on the gum thing and the perfume thing too! Are people not able to smell themselves? And if their perfume is that strong to ME then how the hell are they breathing??? Definitely a reason for flogging!
So with you. The gum - the GUM! I’m sure you’ve had to pick it out of various and sundry dogs’ mouths, as I have. And how gross is that? It’s horrible! HORRIBLE!
How about just spitting in general? Actually, the culprit doesn’t need to go to jail, he (b/c it’s usually a he) just can’t get pissed at me when I puke on him.
if you have one of those compressed air cans to clean key boards that sometimes freezes the gum enough to get it almost 100% off - just beware the can gets REALLY COLD. (like Minnesota in January cold)
okay totally not stalking/copying you…as a matter of fact this is the first time i have checked your blog since early this morning…i posted on my blog about if a friend of mine ruled the world….kinda ongoing joke. just so you know…..not stalking!!
i hear ya about the perfume. there is this lady on the bus who bathes in it. and it isn’t nice smelling either.
Wearing too much perfume should be punishable by death…seriously. ha ha!
Ok, so I just got back from lunch and read you blog. I’m ashamed….About 15 minutes ago I was driving through a parking lot towards the very end and threw out my gum. I’m so sorry…please forgive me for not thinking but… really…no one would EVER park that far out even at Christmas. I wouldn’t do that close to the building. I do have 2 -12 packs of diet coke at home in the fridge. Am I forgiven??
Speaking of flogging I had a t-shirt that said” The floggings will continue until morale improves”. I loved that shirt (I got it at a renfaire) and wore it (yes to work- my boss loved it too) until the poorthing fell apart! I miss that shirt.
I love the book you got this idea from…I am trying to figure how to best incorporate it into myblog.
HOW ABOUT LEAVING COMMENTS IN ALL CAPS? I HATE THAT!
How about the parents in the school parking lot that can’t get their kids unloaded without taking a freaking hour and backing up traffic and then the schoolbus gets behind you and starts laying on the horn and then you have to get in a ugly fight with the busdriver and the Principal to prove it wasn’t your fault and they’re just rude and all. Not that it’s happened to me……………….I’m just saying……..Flog them.
I second the one about wearing too much perfume! Especially if it is rose scented and combined with the aroma of cigarette smoke. Not pleasant at all….
& we laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and then we LedOL.
I’m so with you on the perfume thing. I’m allergic and when people wear too much, my nose explodes and I can’t stop itching*sneezing*itching*sneezing! Chill out, people!!