Dear Jackass who flipped me off today -
I am truly sorry I chose to STOP at the red light before turning right. I apologize for not having the balls to just keep going and hope there was no one coming up over the hill to plow me over. Obviously - I should have been thinking less about going to feed my daughter and more about how big of a hurry you were in. And when you honked at me and I had the gall to turn around and look at you? Oh - that was so wrong of me. I totally deserved to have you raise your arms in exasperation and then fly past me with a certain middle finger waving in the wind. Your class and maturity has inspired me. Maybe I can find some puppies to kick today - in your honor.
Someone unworthy to share the road with you,
Z
Dear Emma Watson,
The fact that you’re considering ditching the last two Harry Potter films has me in a bit of a frenzy. You do realize that what is important here is not your well-being or desire to live a life outside of Hermione Granger’s. What is important is that I want you to stick around. I appreciate that you haven’t realized yet that my wishes should come before yours - so I’m taking the opportunity to tell you now: They Do. You must think of me for a change. I don’t handle change well. I don’t want anyone else. I want you. Please straighten this up ASAP.
(Thanks for the link, Kenna.)
The one who matters,
Z.
Dear all clothing companies currently producing shorts that cover less skin than my underwear,
I really am not a big fan of looking at girls’ asses hanging out of their shorts at the mall. It makes me very uncomfortable to see any part of someone’s body that I would normally only see if we were romantically involved. Some of the shorts these days cut up higher on the thigh than even my sexiest pair of underwear. Whenever I see a girl wearing these panties shorts, I think two things. One - surely they snuck out of the house before their parents saw them leave in their underwear. And two - maybe I should buy this girl a drink since I feel like I’ve become intimate with her by simply standing on the same escalator she did.
I’m too old for this,
Z.
Bad day, dear? LOL!
Oh my GOD, I saw a girl in those shorts at Costco, and honest to LORD, I couldn’t stop staring. I was very upset. VERY UPSET.
Hi Miss Zoot, I remembered your love of geography as soon as I saw Miss Celenias post so I thought I’d pass it on. Congrats on the 5k, I knew you could do it!
http://misscellania.squarespace.com/
ahahAHAHAHAHAahahaaa, and I just BET you were behind this girl on the ‘up’ escalator, and I just BET her ass was in your face the entire time.
Awesome. Totally awesome.
And by awesome, of course I mean “Poor Zoot”.
A similar thing happened to me this morning at a stop light. Only my light was green, but the road i was turning left onto was backed up and I’ve always been told you don’t block intersections. So I held back and then the driver behind me honked her horn and then tried to go around me! I hate stupid driver.
Heh heh heh heh heh.
Nooooooooooo!! Not Hermione!!!!
I am 100% with you on the pushy driver thing! What is it with people who think they can drive for everyone else on the road? I was rear-ended last week (no damage, thankfully) in a situation just like that. The girl behind me was just assuming that there was enough room for me to sneak out on a right turn at a red light, but I like to have PLENTY of time. She was appropriately mortified when she bumped into me, I’m glad to add. Hope your day is looking up after all of that…
No no no, Emma Watson must not leave the movie series, she is the PERFECT Hermione! Wah!!!
(OK, now I will actually click on the link and read about it)
This explains the eleventy billion google hits I’ve had recently looking for Hermione Watson’s phone number.
I swear there are some idjuts in the world.
Haha! Excellent! Maybe you can make Open-Letter Day a regular thing!
Hermione can take a flying leap. I don’t really care! Snape, however, now that’s a different story
What isEmma thinking? How dare she?
AAAAAAAAAARGH. No! No actor/actress changes in Harry Potter! The new Dumbledore was bad enough to get used to, and that change was unavoidable! Nooooooo.
Oh she is just bucking for more pay.
Out of the three? I would choose her to not continue.
NOT Rupert or Daniel!!!
Emma, Emma, what are you THINKING? You know Miss Zoot’s wishes are PARAMOUNT to all others. And mine too. You MUST continue or The-One-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named wins.
Emma’s threatening to walk out on the last 2 films? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Harry needs you! WE need you!
I’m going to go huddle in a corner sucking my thumb now. . .
I didn’t realize how UNknowledgeable I am about Harry Potter. I’m glad I found your “Don’t call me a Muggle” link!