I woke up this morning and immediately started doing work to prep for our trip today. The first thing I had to do was put a load of laundry in the dryer. As I was squatting down to put the laundry in, with my arms full of heavy wet clothes, Sweetie decided to jump ON MY DAMN BACK. She has NEVER done that EVER. Of course, she gets a little neurotic when she knows something is wrong (she hates to see the suitcases out), but she’s never resorted to playing leapfrog to get attention. Of course it threw me off balance and if it weren’t for the wet clothes cushioning my fall, I would have busted face first on the floor.
Then, as I was walking and carrying NikkiZ’s stuff through the hall, one of my cats sat on the floor in the hallway AT MY FEET. Of course I didn’t see him (or her, I couldn’t tell who it was) but I put my foot down and immediately felt fur and heard and angry “Meow!” as whomever it was ran away. I caught myself before putting all of my weight on that foot, but the maneuver had me busting into the wall on the way down to the floor. Injured: One should and one knee.
AND THEN (Yes, there’s more. The title to this entry is not an exaggeration.) I stepped on a damn cell phone that I know my cats knocked on the floor. They can’t resist pushing stuff off of counters and tables onto the floor. The cell phone survived but the bottom of my foot (I would have to step on the CLIP and cut my foot) and my ankle did not. The odd step caused my ankle to turn and now it’s throbbing.
WHAT THE HELL? Someone paid my animals to take me out, I know. I’ve always joked it would be easy to kill me and make it look like an accident because I’m such a damn klutz. I think my animals heard me say that one day and decided to try to make some money off of that fact. Of course, I don’t know who would want me dead. Maybe Russel Crowe? I tend to bad-mouth him a lot. Or maybe the cashier at Wal-Mart to whom I said, “You know, you don’t have to be rude, I’m just trying to make your life easier,” when she got snotty at me for taking hangers out of the clothes I was buying. She may have not liked my tone and wanted me dead.
I can see the headlines now. Disgruntled Wal-Mart Employee Hires Cats and Dogs to Kill Customer.
Ah, but imagine the laughter of your family as you sit in quiet during the next couple of days as you tell the story, the family teasing that might come from it.
I’m sorry about your uncle, I hope everyone travels well and safe.
I just want to say it wasn’t me. Your animlals contacted me about funding their foul deeds but I declined. Sorry to hear they carried through with their plans.
Truly sorry to hear about your uncle. Travel safely.
“Zoot’s Zoo” indeed! No one paid them, it’s their job to get in the way and create havoc just when you can least deal with it.
And where’s LilZ? Is he stil MIA? You can’t leave us hanging like that!
I’m sorry! I know it was wrong, but I just didn’t want you to leave town again!
P.S. Please tell your cats and dogs that I’m going to be expecting a refund of the catnip and Beggin’ Strips down payment I made.
Wasn’t able to comment on the earlier entry. Just wanted to extend my sympathies on your loss.
Maybe the animals can sense something is going on and are trying to injure you so you have to stay home?
Cats - they’re the new ninjas.
Oh you poor thing. I hope the day gets better.
I am quite sure it was the disgruntled Wal-Mart employee. She is in with the animals. Ha! I am sure they were just stressed they knew you were leaving. Hope everything works out and I am so sorry about your Uncle.
I think it must be a nationwide thing, because, my cat has been acting very strange since I woke up. I’ve caught quite a few dirty looks from him.
Note to self: Put cat outside once home from work!
I only asked them to rough you up a little, not KILL!
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oops.