I’m an idiot

Well. Luckily we already had a check-up scheduled for today or I would have looked like a moron at the doctor’s office with the whole, “She running a fever!” panic. Evidently – that’s normal with her vaccinations from two weeks ago, which I would have known if I had read those damn information sheets they send with each shot. I’m glad the nurse was nice and didn’t add a, “Duh!” after the, “It should have said that in those sheets we gave you…”

But, I had scheduled the follow-up for her ear infections anyway – which I’m happy to report are gone! Yay for happy ears! And clueless moms!

Unfortunately – she’s still really pissed off (probably has something to do with the whole being up since 4am thing) and screaming bloody murder so I’m going to cut this entry short so I can put cotton in my ears to block out the screaming.

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Now my secretary licks her ass and barks at birds.

I’m at home now. NikkiZ had exhausted her “quiet” mode (The last entry was a slight exaggeration. She was really only noisy when I was the only one in the office, and torturing her for entertainment. She became Angelic Quiet Baby when my coworkers were there – she’s no fool.) and I decided to work the rest of the day from home. Her appointment is in a couple of hours anyway. My dogs think they have died and gone to heaven, they’re all, “You’re home! You’re home! Give us treats and scratch our backs!”

My cats, on the other hand, are not that impressed because when I’m home I kick them off the back of the couches – their favorite napping spots. They know they aren’t allowed to sleep there, but they also know when we’re not home we can’t beat them. So, they sleep there all day while we’re at work. We know this by the tons of cat hair left behind as evidence. Cats are too smart to be obedient, but also too cute to eat for dinner.

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I now have a secretary who drools

NikkiZ’s daycare called and she had a very slight fever. We think maybe her ear infection is back, so we have an appointment for her at 3:30pm. I thought I’d see if she’d behave in the office for a little while, since I would like to play fax-catcher today. She is sitting on the floor trying to cram notecards into a notecard holder, and is screaming in frustration. The bad parent in me is very humored by this. Of course, she senses how humored I am and responds to my laughter with even grander screams. Which, of course, makes me laugh harder. It’s a viscous cycle of how to mistreat your child’s anxiety. Come learn from me.

She is also playing with the new pens I saw at Staples and of course, had to buy. I really like them! The tip is a little wide for my liking (medium point) but other than that – they’re great. Since many of you are pen addicts like myself, I thought I’d tell you about them. They are Uni-ball SIGNOs. Have you tried them? Very smooth and quick. I really like them. And of course I bought the pack with 19 different colors because I can not resist the power of a purple pen. It’s a disease.

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If she lets MrZ sleep in, she’s grounded.

I leave in 9 days for a short trip to Tucson, AZ to run a half-marathon with my brother. It will be the first time I’ve ever visited him where he lives since he graduated from High School. And he’s lived in some awesome places in those 10 years: Chicago, Seattle, Kansas City, and now – Tucson. (Wait. I did visit him once in the six weeks he lived in Nashville, TN, but that’s barely 100 miles from my house, so that doesn’t count.) He has always come to visit me – he’s awesome like that. I’m going by myself, leaving the kids with MrZ for a little over 48 hours. Part of me is totally excited for the Zoot Time, another part of me is kinda hoping the family falls apart in my absence so that they will then be forced to recognize that, even though I don’t cook or clean, they can’t live without me.

NikkiZ woke up at 4am this morning. By the time I left for work at 6am, I was exhausted and bitter and irritated and bitchy. It is not unusual for me to get up between 4-4:30am on the weekdays, but when I’m forced to get up because some kid I brought into this world thinks it’s time to be awake? Then I suddenly have the urge to sleep until 9am.

Around 5am – when I was really started to feel the pain of the day to come – I gave her the following lecture:

Listen, kid. If you sleep past 5am either of the mornings I’m in Arizona, keeping your father from experiencing the true potential of pain you can inflict on a tired adult, I’m going to be pissed. I want you to get up around 4am, and then I want you to scream all day. Maybe add some pooping on clothing (his) or some throwing of food (something that stains) on the floor. If I hear you’ve slept late and been smiley for the entire time I’m gone? You’re totally grounded.

I’m either bitterly exhausted, or losing my mind. We’ll keep an eye on the situation.

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DUDE. She’s so TINY.

SO TINY.

Since I switched to WordPress (don’t forget to resubscribe in bloglines using misszoot.com, not www.misszoot.com) I’ve noticed a neat thing on the “compose” page that shows you all of your draft entries not yet published. I pulled on of the untitled ones up today and found this picture in it. EEK. I have no idea what I was going to write on that entry since it was just the picture, but probably something along the lines of: She’s so tiny! Look at her!

If I could talk to myself that day, the day I was going to write about this picture, I would tell myself to savor every moment because “Before you know it, a year will be gone and you’ll miss that tiny baby.”

I probably would also warn her of the horrid of the solid-food-poops to come. I might have even encouraged myself to never introduce the baby to solid foods so as to avoid the nasty poops the future would hold. No one prepared me for the poops to come. They are bad. Oh so bad.

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