Be nice – I’m sensitive
Last night, MrZ was talking to NikkiZ and said something along the lines of, “You’re going to stop nursing this weekend!” After picking my heart up off the floor at the sound of something so catastrophic being spoken with such jubilation I said, “I hope not!”
I leave for Tucson Saturday morning and come back Monday afternoon. It is just barely over 2 days. Currently, I nurse NikkiZ first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I know she doesn’t really need it as nourishment, so she will simply go without it while I’m gone. I have been hoping (counting on the fact) that she’ll still want to nurse when I come back. Obviously, MrZ hopes otherwise.
I don’t know why I still want to continue nursing. I think, like many things, I blame it on being a working mom. As it is – on a weekday – I only have about three hours to hang out with her. The rest of the time I’m at work or she’s in bed. So, nursing forces 40 minutes or so on us each day. 40 minutes that it’s just me and her, essentially cuddling. I need that time for me and it makes me feel less guilty sending her to daycare.
There is also a part of me that likes to pretend that I care a lot about the antibodies she’s getting from me. It’s winter time! There are germs and diseases and monsters my boob juice can protect her from!
I don’t know. I’m just not ready. Now, if I come back on Monday and try to nurse her and she turns her head away, I will first die of a broken heart, but I will then at least feel like she has chosen to quit and that I’m doing what she wants. But really? I’m hoping she’ll miss it and be happy to have it back.
Have any of you all left a 14-month old child for two days and come back to find she still wants to nurse? How did your boobs do, did they stop producing in just two days? I’m going to try to pump at least once while I’m gone, but I don’t produce a lot as it is at this point, so I’m not sure how much good that will do. And more importantly, how do I cope if she doesn’t want to nurse?
Also – how do I get my husband to understand that type of heartbreak so he doesn’t laugh at me when I spend the next week crying over the breakup (between her and my boobs, of course) and listening to Depeche Mode on repeat? And possibly making memory boxes where I’ll put all of the things that remind me of nursing NikkiZ: stained bras, nursing pads, lanolin. And then, calling into to the local radio station and dedicating “our song” to her in memory: Kelis’ “Milkshake.”
I’ve taken the metaphor too far now, haven’t I?
I left Kyra for 3 days when she was just about 9.5 months old. I had pumped a stash of milk for her and I took my pump with me to help keep my milk supply up. She’s almost 11 months now and we are still nursing. She had no problem resuming nursing after 3 days.
I don’t think she’ll just up and decide she’s done nursing just because you’re gone for two days – my daughter wouldn’t and she’s not quite 14 months old.
I’m not in any hurry to give it up myself – I’m going for two years. But that’s just me. Violet is still all about the nursing, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem.
I think NikkiZ will miss you so much, she’ll be very comforted by nursing when you get back.
I don’t know how I’d feel about nursing really, at what point I’d feel it was awkward. I know it’s not the same, but maybe if she does decide to stop, you could just plan some quality cuddle time, because you know it’s important, even if it’s not physically feeding her, you’re still meeting her need for attachment and love.
Oh, I’m sorry. I totally 100% understand. And I’m kind of in favor of still nursing – my son weaned himself and now I can’t go back.
I’m still nursing my 14 month old, too. I would like to get through another Cold Season, frankly. Also, because he is still nursing, it helps me worry less that he isn’t drinking enough high-fat milk because I know the breastmilk is helping out there. Is it a coincidence that kids need a high fat diet for the first 2 years of their lives AND organizations such as WHO/Unicef recommend nursing for 2 years? Hmmmm…..
However, I’ll admit that if Arun all of sudden wanted to stop nursing, I’d be a bit relieved because I am worried about weaning him.
I know Angela from Fluid Pudding wrote a hilarious post about being at Blogher and thinking she didn’t need to pump since she was only BF once a day at night. She said she almost exploded.
I have left Jack three times and will again for a business trip this week. I have always pumped enough in advance and then pumped while I was gone and he could not get latched on fast enough when I got back.
I think you will both be pleased to find there won’t be a disconnect. Well maybe Mr.Z won’t be pleased, haha. But I would definitely try to pump at the times you normally feed her. Just to keep the boobs in practice.
I nursed both my boys for 18mths. I left Noah overnight during that time and he was PISSED at me, but happily nursed when I came home from my drunken girls night out. And then one day he was all “Mom, get that boob out of my face. GROSS!”
And that was that.
Ungrateful little brat!
Aw. It’ll be okay. Just hang in there.
I just quit BF my 13 month old – IT SUX! I really didnt want to stop but she started pulling on my shirt when she wanted to nurse (or pacify) and I was getting a little embarrassed. OK, so it has been 5 days now – this morning I woke up to my bed full of milk (leaking) and guess what…I got my period already…IT SUX…keep it up as long as you can.
I have no advice. I’m just happy to hear I’m not the only one that call is “boob juice”.
I can’t add anything to the BF discussion, but have fun in Tucson!
I’ve only been there once, but it kicked this sea-level person’s ass. They have these big rocky things called “hills” or somesuch. And cactus. And great margaritas.
I weaned my second son when he was about 14 months. Although he was fine with the weaning, a little over a week later he caught a bad cold. He wanted to nurse so badly, I figured what the heck, it would at least comfort him. I didn’t feel like I had anything to give, but wouldn’t you know I was still producing. He ended up nursing for a couple weeks then basically re-weaned himself. The good news is that weaning wasn’t as heartbreaking as I thought it would be.
I think she’ll do fine without it and be fine with it for a while after you get back. My own assvice however, is maybe you should talk to MrZ and be a bit sensitive to his feelings about why he wants you to stop.
I bet she will want to nurse the minute she sees you! My 22 month old has been weaned for about 16 weeks (almost exactly around the time #3 was connceived) and if he sees me without a shirt, he still tries! I’m sure once the baby is born, he’s gonna be P.O.’d when he sees him/her on the boob! My husband wanted him weaned before I weaned him too, but I wasn’t ready, and neither was he! Only you will know when the time is right. Hope you have a great trip!