CNN has a video linked on their front page titled “UPS cuts out left turns, delivers packages faster” (thanks Katie) that is about…well…UPS cutting out left turns. Like the title says. Funny how it works that way, isn’t it?
Well…it’s AWESOME. As most of you know, I’m totally anti-left turn. Not for the sake of speed, however, but for the sake of something I like to call “Not Getting Killed.” I am the most defensive driver on the planet and I will ad 10 minutes on a drive if it avoids bad on/off ramps and/or left turns. I avoid all left turns on or off 4-lane highways without the assistance of a light. ALL of them. I will turn right every time. Now, if there is a light with a “Left Turn Yield On Green” sign, I will probably still avoid the turn. It depends the time of day and traffic in that area. If I feel like I might be forced to make a last second turn while the light is yellow? I won’t do it. I’ll go straight and find a better intersection or I’ll go right.
My favorite thing in the WORLD is the sign “Left Turn ONLY On Arrow”. That means there will be a moment where I can make a left turn without worrying what everyone else is doing. I love those intersections. If I could I would name my next child “Left Turn ONLY On Arrow” I love them so much. When an intersection changes to one of those? I rejoice and celebrate because, “Yay! Left Turns without the element of Death involved!” I know where all of those intersections in town are (there is one in front of Target) and will plan any left turns around those intersections.
All of this makes MrZ all sorts of crazy. Now, he has learned to cope with it over the years, and even suggests routes places that fit within my criteria, but it still makes him crazy. I mean, KRAZEE.
But UPS? UPS thinks I’m totally awesome and smart and thinks that, not only is my way safe, it is FAST. Well, that’s not quite true, they even avoid left turns with arrows because it slows them down waiting. But still, the concept is there. And I am totally awesome with my ant-left turn policy. No one can tell me different now. Amen.
Girl, in Korea, traffic lights mean nothing. Left turn, red lights, right turns, one way streets. You’re going to get hit. That’s probably why the speed limit here is never higher than 45 mph. Seriously. On the highways? 45. TOPS. Everyone’s car has skid marks up and down the sides and dents front to back. It’s nuts over here.
I knew there was a reason I liked UPS!
I am SO with you on the left turn thing. Left turns are evil, EVIL I tell you. And my fear of left turns drives my husband insane too. Especially on divided highways. He doesn’t understand why I just don’t go out halfway when one side is clear, then wait for the next clear spot. I keep telling him that that is an ivitation for DOOM (and I say it as dramatically as possible) and that I’ll wait until I can find a left arrow, thank you very much.
HA! UPS should have listened to you years ago.
[...] It turns out, I’m not the only one who doesn’t like left turns. [...]
LOVE this post. HATE left turns, too.
I thought of you when I saw that story!
In a former life, I was a delivery driver (flowers, not packages) and was quite good at pulling out the Mapsco and plotting a route that made the most of traffic flow, instead of working against it.
It’s about time the rest of the world catches up with us!
(and I don’t think I’d enjoy driving in Korea, thanks for the tip, Myllissa!
Please, PLEASE, nickname your next child (atleast on your website) LeftyZ. That would be fraking sweet. Speaking of, do you call NikkiZ NikkiZ in real life? What about the rest of the ZootFam? I’ve often wondered, since that’s really the only “real” name you’ve used for your family. MrZ and LilZ are probably harder to say than their real names.
I feel you on the defensive driving! I have to turn left into my development every single day after work and 3 out of 5 times, there is some obnoxious, impatient driver behind me. Whenever I miss the slightest pause to go in (hello, it takes time to turn left!), I shrink down in my seat, waiting for the dreaded horn blast. Gah.
My father-in-law works for UPS, so he makes sure that we NO OTHER CARRIER. He likes to shoo away the FedEx people from their house and make us be quiet during UPS commercials. But we like them anyway.
Hi, I love your blog and I read it every day, just wanted to let you know I’m exactly the same way with left hand turns…my family thinks I’m crazy…I just got a kick out of reading that somebody has the same petpeeve as me…I had an accident when I was seventeen making a left hand turn and been afraid every since….Happy Holidays……
I think of you every morning on the way to work when I have to make a HUGE unprotected left turn!
Yeah, last night I was driving with my boyfriend on the busiest street in town and didn’t make my left turn when the light was yellow, but stopped and waited until I got a green arrow (which I knew I would get). He yelled at me. And said his grandmother is a more aggressive driver than I am. Well, no crap, I don’t WANT to be an aggressive driver. But there’s nothing wrong with driving defensively to keep yourself out of danger. I try to plan my turns and be in the proper lane far before I need to make that turn and keep a safe distance from the car in front of me. But apparently that makes me an old lady (I’m only 21). Though I try to get him to drive and he refuses. Apparently I have a nicer car (yeah, I totally do).
I suppose this is why we haven’t received an important package from UPS yet. You can ONLY get into our neighborhood by turning left. What will I do?
Hehe…I drive my husband insane by going out of my way to avoid lefts that don’t have a light. He on the other hand will drive 5 miles out of his way to avoid any traffic light.
Having been in a near- death accident (if I had been one foot further out, would probably not be here) on a left hand turn onto a busy two-lane highway, I am totally with you here. I go a different route to and from work to avoid the left hand turns that would be involved. It adds 5 minutes. I say that 5 minutes is worth two less panic attacks each day, don’t you?