I went to the gym last night and there were zero treadmills available. At 7:30. Luckily, I know the cycles well enough that I knew to just wait a few minutes. Five minutes later? There were two available. 20 minutes into my run there were five. So - not too big of a deal, I guess. Although I wasn’t sure where to wait, It’s not like there’s a line behind the treadmills or anything. I just sat in the lobby area where you can see the treadmills through the windows to that room. I wondered if there was a situation (someone waiting actually inside the room who could get to the treadmills before I could) where I might start a fight with someone over a treadmill. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Especially if it involved fisticuffs? I’m not exactly sure what “fisticuffs” are - but I really like that word and would love to be able to apply it to my own actions someday. Unfortunately - I just couldn’t really imagine any situation that would cause me to fight for a treadmill. I’m just not that into my workout. As a matter of fact, if someone came up to me seconds after I started my run and asked for my machine? I’d probably give it to them.
If you’re someone who has struggled with weight loss (and really - is there anyone out there who has never tried to lose weight? I don’t think I want to know…) you understand how fragile of a cycle it is. It takes a lot of effort to lose a few pounds, but not much effort at all to gain it back. I’ve been really frustrated with my battle this time around (there have been several battles in the war with my body over the years) because I had pretty much hit my pre-NikkiZ weight in July. I came within 1 pound according to my scale (yes, I know, everyone says not to get hung up on the numbers, but I have too, I’m sorry) . Since then I’ve put 10lbs back on. You know the sucky part? I started my marathon training around that time. Only I could actually put on weight while training for a marathon. I’m an idiot.
It’s like this. After my nightly runs I come home feeling like I haven’t eaten in days. Hence my commentary this week about eating brownies every night. Last night? It was See’s Candy and a bowl of cereal. I know while I’m eating it that I’m eating my run PLUS SOME but I just can’t make myself stop. So the pounds add on just a little bit at time. And for those of you who struggle with weight loss, you understand how quickly those pounds can add up. And it frustrates me because it’s just this damn cycle. Why can’t I just be a smart eater? Some days give myself rewards. Hell, give myself small rewards everyday since I run! Why do I have to be all Crazy Psycho Binge Girl every night? BAH. It makes me so angry with myself.
But what do I do? Come home again the next night and do the same thing. And the most frustrating part is that I’ve been doing great this week during the day. I’ve only eaten a few pieces of candy from the Evil Office Candy Bowl. I’ve eaten healthy for breakfast and lunch and light at dinner. It’s been that damn hour after I come home from the gym where I’ve still got a bunch of shit to do before I can go to bed, so I eat the entire supply of chocolate first. I think If I could just come home from the gym and go to bed? I’d be better off. Maybe? So tonight I’m going to finish all of my housework before leaving for the gym. So that I can just come home, put on my pajamas, and go to bed. Bypassing the kitchen along the way. And I think I’m going to throw away the rest of the candy.
(Note to MrZ and LilZ: I’m throwing away the rest of the candy. Get it now or lose it forever.)
(Who am I kidding? Like they even eat the stuff. That’s all me baby.)
And I know the advice: Stock up on healthy snacks. Well - I can overeat healthy stuff just as easily as I can chocolate. Last night I ate half a pack of Ritz crackers and a giant bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats. And even though I may be fine with the current size I’m at, I’ve been on this roller coaster long enough that I know 10lbs now becomes 20lbs and then 30 and then before we know it I’m back at my heaviest non-pregnant weight ever. 188. And in reality? That whole “heaviest weight ever” thing is always a passable limit. Before 188 my “heaviest weight ever” was 150lbs. I blew that limit out of the water. When I aim to pass a record? I do it FULL ON. So, if you’ve never been on the weight-loss ride, you think, “10lbs is not a big deal” - but if you’ve been trapped on this ride, trying to get off, you know. 10lbs is like the gateway drug. It gets you back on the Weight Gain part of the cycle, and turning back around to the Weight Loss is a very difficult thing to do. And there is no limit to the Weight Gain cycle.
Especially when there is See’s Candy in your kitchen.
Or Frosted Mini Wheats.
Or pretty much anything edible.
So - I’m going to document my eating on this site. The best luck I ever had with weight loss was when I did that pre-wedding. But, I know nobody really wants to read that crap, so I’m going to do it as “private” entries. If you are battling the same issues and would like to commiserate with me, I think you can click the “register” link at the bottom of my sidebar and it will allow you to sign up to see the private entries. I just don’t want to bore the people who are just stopping by for stories about ass sweat and Super Target.
I started working out and getting into shape. First thing I noticed after working out, I GAINED weight! Then, after I work out, I have this sudden urge to go to McDonalds (in the morning) for a sausage mcmuffin. So I switched to working out at night, guess what???? Now I crave chocolate mouse. I am not sure what the answer is, but I feel totally deflated and discouraged. I have a 5k on Feb 3rd, and I don’t think I will make it. I just don’t have it in me. Maybe working out at lunch time???
Could you eat a snack before going to the gym, and then have dinner after?
I’ve HEARD that muscle weighs more than fat, so if you convert fat to muscle, your weight will slightly increase, but it doesn’t matter because it’s all about building the muscles, dontcha know. All this is hearsay because I have no muscles, only fat fat fat.
I bet some of what you are gaining is muscle. Also could be water retention. Are you drinking your water every day? 8 8oz glasses!! I am sure some is from the eating, but not all. I know it helps me with the eating when I actually drink my water though out the day.
Stacey - what is this “water” of which you speak?
I found this awesome site that will help with keeping track of what you eat, how many calories are in the food and how many calories you will burn during your run so you’ll know when you can munch out on candy to spoil yourself without gaining weight. http://www.thedailyplate.com/ One part about the site is you can put in a restaurant and it has most of their menu calories. Plus it will help you keep track of how much water you are drinking and it will tell you how many calories you need to maintain your weight, lose weight or gain weight (right, as if I needed help with the last one!) Good Luck!
I just have to say how impressed I am. You weigh over 50 pounds less than your highest weight! In my mind, that was not possible. That gives me so much hope.
I am currently coming down from my “highest weight ever” - and no, I’ve never had children. My “highest ever” was 168. I’m down to 166 (big flippin’ woo hoo). Before that, my highest ever was 155. I started training for a half marathon a few weeks ago, and it hasn’t really made a big difference - the most important thing for me is what I eat.
I also run in the evening, and I also want to eat a lot at night. I do what the other commenter suggested - eat dinner after I run. I’ll have a small (really small) snack around 5:30, then run at 6:30, then have dinner around 8:30. I eat a healthy dinner and don’t want anything else.
Keep up the great work!
For me, the most important thing is what i eat too. I keep gaining and loosing the same 5 kg (10 lbs) over and over. It doesn’t matter whether i work out, because i think i’m allowed my snack(s) if i work out, and watch my eating more if i don’t. Some of it might be muscle, but most of it is fat around my midsection. Right now i’m trying to lose the 5 kg again, because none of my pants fit comfortably anymore. I’m not skinny if i weight 5 kg less, but i feel good. Right now, i feel like a sausage (the ill fitting jeans might have something to do with that ;)). I think i’m gonna register to see what you eat ;), maybe it will help me too. Although so far, although i admire you for running, it hasn’t helped me to get of the couch.
That’s often happens to me at night if I don’t eat enough during the day. Even though you may not *feel* hungry, you might want to consider eating a mid-morning and mid-afternoon snack of fruit or protein. I bet it will help carry you through the entire day and you’ll feel better. Also another thing that helps me is to plan ahead. So maybe you could say, “After my run, I’m eating yogurt and a cheese stick and that’s it,” instead of just going home hungry and diving in. These things have helped me tremendously. I still have a long way to go but I’ve made progress.
Someone beat me to it, but I’ll say this anyway. That also happens to me if I don’t eat enough during the day. I was caught in a crazy cycle of bingeing at night and then eating very little all day to make up for it. But, because I didn’t eat enough all day then I made up for it at night. I finally realized that eating more during the day was still less calories than not eating and more than making up for it at night. Also, the quality of calories was much better in what I consumed during the day.
I do understand the emotional component and have to watch out for that but realizing that I could eat during the day was such a relief. Believe me I know how hard it is to work through all this. I like to think that someday I’ll figure it all out and it will be a way of life rather than a struggle.
I agree with others; part of your weight gain is probably muscle, since it weighs a lot more than fat. I had been working out for a while and hadn’t lost any weight, but then I got my body fat percentage measured and it had gone way down.
I could have written this post myself (if I had a blog that is). I trained for a half marathon in the spring of last year and got down to my fighting weight and have never looked or felt better. Then came the bigger goal of training for a full marathon. I gained 10 lbs. I was starving all the time. I would try to eat less during the day, stay away from the evil office candy bowl and then at night I was starving. My mom kept telling me “It’s muscle! Muscle weighs more than fat! Don’t worry, you look great, etc”, but the pictures I have from last spring and this fall show that I did in fact gain 10lbs. I think it might have been the “All Carbs All the Time” diet I was on - I was “Carb Loading”.
I just wanted you to know, you aren’t alone. I’m training for another half marathon now (in Indianapolis in May) and I’m now just 6lbs over my fighting weight and trying to get back down to it. I think I’ll follow your example and start keeping track of what I’m eating too - that was how I got down to my fighting weight last spring. Good luck!
~Lisa
I will second or third or whatever number we are on with the eat more during the day theme. I personally struggle with my weight and always have. Now that I have thyroid cancer in a way it’s kind of like vindication for me being overweight - now I can honestly say I have a thyroid problem. But in my heart of hearts I know that they thyroid isn’t all to blame, I have to take some responsibility.
One of my runner friends told me to load up at lunch, eat a light snack or power bar type of thing about an hour to an hour and a half before working out. It will give you the energy you need to complete the workout instead of working out on an empty stomach. Then after working out eat a light dinner. Before I had my thyroid removed that eating plan worked for me. I would eat all I wanted at lunch and then slow down the eating in the afternoon. It really did help me with being so hungry after working out.
I’m also chiming in with the snack (or light meal) before the workout, and real dinner after. For me, a high protein snack works best through workouts (not that I’ve been good at working out in, oh, months now)… hard boiled eggs, peanut butter on celery, yogurt and a banana. You could eat that with your family while they eat dinner and then eat their dinner after your workout.
Or, I don’t know your schedule, but maybe you could work out an hour earlier and everyone could eat dinner together afterwards? I’d still advocate having a snack beforehand though or else you might be too tired to get the most out of your run.
I had to comment even though I’m a little late, because I’ve been stuck in the exact cycle you described. I used to run on my college team, but I never had “the runner’s body”, and it used to drive me crazy. If I’m running 50 miles a week, why am I not thin? Running (and probably any other cardio exercise) makes you so hungry that it can really counteract any benefits (weight-loss wise), especially if you’re doing distance and marathon training.
My advice is to eat immediately after running. Eat a banana, eat two, eat a bowl of cereal, have a sandwich. Eat something, and not something totally unfulfilling or unappetizing. If you’re hungry later again, that’s OK… just have another snack. I think the real key is to avoid the ravenous wolf stage at all costs. Because once you feel that first rumble, you can’t help but eat the entire box of Honey Bunches of Oats (by you, I mean me).
I know the temptation to think, “well, I don’t want a banana, and that’s 110 calories, so that’s like I just cut 15 minutes off my run, so I’ll just not eat it”, but it backfires every time.
I don’t know that going to bed right after running will work either… you might start waking up in the middle of the night and eating half a frozen pizza — my friend used to do this. Otherwise, you’ll wake up in the morning and be so famished that you’ll need a whole package of bacon to tide you over before breakfast — that was more my style.
You rock, by the way.
I don’t have any advice. I would just like to say that I hear you. I do the same thing, and as I’m doing it, I’m thinking, “What the heck is your deal, lady?” But does it stop me? No it does not.
I have the same problem- breakfast through, like, 8pm I am SO good. It just all goes downhill after that.
I need to keep my mouth occupied, so I’ve started drinking tea in the evenings (decaf)- it curbs my hunger (who knew?) and keeps my mouth and hands occupied. I’ve also started knitting at night. I simply cannot sit around and just watch tv or mess around online- I need to be busy and distracted from the thin mints calling my name.
I hate to repeat several others, but muscle DOES weigh more than fat, so don’t beat yourself up over that. In the pictures I have seen of you after runnning, you look like you are in great shape!
I’m totally going to register to read those entries because I’m in the same boat. Granted, I just had a baby 2 months ago. And I’m breastfeeding so I technically need the extra calories. But like you, I burn extra calories (with the breastfeeding, not running) and then put them all back on with my nightly binges. I literally just bought a treadmill LAST NIGHT in an effort to have that to go to rather than snacking so much, but we’ll see what happens. Glad to know I’m not alone!
My wife is big into working out. She goes to the Y to lift weights three mornings a week and goes to Jazzercize three evenings a week. She said that even at 6am when she hits the Y that all of the ellipticals are busy. She says it’s a by-product of the New Year’s Resolutions made by so many. She also said that by mid-February all of the “resolutioners” will be gone!! Just thought you’d like to hear that?!?!