In the 3+ years since I’ve been blogging at different variations of this site you see here, I’ve been amazed at how dependent I am on it as a sort of therapy. If something major happens - I come here - to tell you. I recall nights at the emergency room with my kids, or bad doctor’s visits when we were having fertility struggles. I tell you about family members that I’ve lost or struggles that I’m facing. There are so many things I use you all for, and you don’t even know it. Or maybe you do and you’re okay with that.
This dependence has caused me to wonder what other major events in my life would have been like if I had been blogging. Would it have been easier to lose friends when I made big mistakes, because I would know you all would still be here waiting to share your similar stories? When my mom was in the ICU for five weeks, would it have been helpful to come here everyday to tell you about her progress, or lack thereof? Could you have helped me plan my wedding? Graduate from college? How awesome would it be if you all had been here for me through all of that.
My point is - I’ve come to depend on you all as my counsel. You sympathize when I’m facing hurdles by sharing your versions of similar challenges. You console me when I’m down and you laugh with me when I’m goofy. I just can’t imagine going through any major life challenges without stopping by here everyday to let you know what was happening. This is the beauty of the blog: Free Therapy.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot this evening after reading Heather’s entry and seeing how much she faces in silence. I wonder, if there are things she keeps off the blog because the negative chunk of her readership is just so damn evil. I have been so blessed not to hardly ever see the negative side of putting your life online, and I can’t even imagine how much of the negative she sees every time she opens her inbox. It just makes me sad, because she gives so many of her readers like myself, so much to smile about. Yet - she struggles through these major events in her life and can’t reap the reward of having so many loyal fans out there. We all know that if 100 people told us we were awesome, but one person told us we sucked, that one person would essentially erase the previous 100 compliments. It’s just the way our minds work. The negative, although a minority, will always have the biggest impact on us. So - she may have 200 comments that are all positive and encouraging, but you know she’ll get that one nasty email that will make all of the kindness fade away. It just makes me sad for her, but more important, it makes me grateful for you all. I’m not sure why you come back here every day, or why you’re so nice to me, but I’m so glad you are. I’m also so glad my readership has plateaued at a place where I get the support I love with none of the negatives asshats to ruin it all.
Thank you. Seriously. I’m hugging you right now, can you feel it? Should I have put on deodorant first?
I don’t understand why she gets so much hateful email. I’m glad you don’t have that though. *hugs*
I don’t understand how people can be so hateful on the internet, just because the other person can’t see you and doesn’t really know who you are. It’s really sad to see people cut others down simply because they can get away with it. =(
I will never understand the thoughts of some people. I don’t understand their need to purposefully hurt someone who does nothing but try to entertain. Bah.
And thanks for the hug. Feeling all toasty now.
I will never understand responses like that, either.
I envy you and her both for your openness. I don’t feel like I can say much of anything important on my blog; my entire family reads it and there are too many things I could say that they just wouldn’t understand. So I am quiet. Bah.
Thanks for nudging out of my lurk-mode over at Heather’s site. She deserves all the positive comments she can get….I did my best! She’s an incredibly honest and open human being and its sad that it makes her a ripe target.
Friends let friends hug without deoderant.
PS. I may have eaten all the brownies.
I love you too Zoot–but totally in a non-stalkerish way.
I always try to live by the “code” of if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all kinda deal, which I have finally (I hope) learned after putting my foot in my mouth soooo many many many times and doing the frantic backpedalling-stuttering-looking-even-stupider-trying-to-make-it-sound-nicer-the-second-time thing. Hate that feeling.
Plus, you make me giggle about how normal we obviously are.
I saw the post too. It’s very sad. And I’m glad you are able to post what you do…
that email she got was almost comical in its stupidity and hatred. inaccurate too because when i look at pictures of her house i always think how much i love it so i suppose i have “sterile” taste in decorating. besides, shabby chic storage bins from target? not sterile! shabby chic!
I had the same thought when I read that entry of hers. I literally wanted to go hug her, except she’d probably think I was some sort of scary stalker.
The blog is fabulous therapy. I have a fraction of the commenters you do, but they are also positive and it’s so nice to have people out there to see you through the good and bad.
I come here every day because how your experiences mirror mine and I’ve grown to be genuinely interested in you and what happens to you and your family. I know that sounds creepy and stalkerish, but I’ve gotten addicted to your blog.
I think this as well. Blogging makes shitty things so much more tolerable. Like when your kid and dog puke at the same time you think “This is going to be AWESOME on the blog”.
Glad to know you’re not getting the asshattery.
Hey there! I love dropping by your blog because no matter where in the world I am, I can find you. It isn’t like my “real world” friends that pop in and out of my life with every move. That’s the best thing about the internet. You’re always home.
{{hug}} right back at ya!
I wonder what motivates people to be mean? Are their lives so sad and meaningless that they have to resort to being rude that to feel superior? I think I was in pre-school when I learned “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” and somewhere along the line I also learned that if I don’t like something, I should avoid it (i.e. don’t read, if you don’t approve/agree).
Anyway, I love coming here. It’s like visiting a good friend’s home. Thanks!
Aww. Thanks. (((Zoot)))
Thanks for the hug; here’s one for you: {{hug}} I enjoy your site - and Dooce, too, for that matter. I enjoy reading good quality blog entries as well as the occasional whimsey! Keep up the great work, Zoot. Love ya!
I love your blog!!!
Heather definitely pays a hefty price for being extremely talented, not to mention one of the most famous of all bloggers. It’s not fair, but makes you realize that you probably really wouldn’t want several million people reading your website. I’m pretty happy with my twelve nice readers!
It’s so nice to have corners of the blogosphere where it’s not all drama and meanness. And it’s even better to have the support of great people. You are awesome, Zoot!
I love reading Heather’s site, and when I see a post like that it breaks my heart. Who the hell are these people to tell someone they don’t know, how to live their lives. I am so sad for her, and for anyone who gets attacked on their own websites just because they are choosing a different path in life.