LilZ and I decided to talk about Heroes tonight. I was kinda fidgety after running five miles (go me!) so there is a lot of interference, but LilZ was tired and I thought it would be a bad parenting decision to force him to stay up just to perfect the podcast. I was also eating, hence a bit of annoying slurping. In other words? The quality is crappy and gross. Enjoy!

I’ve had the headache for about four days now, just in case you were wondering. I’ve learned something about my persistent headaches: they make me want to eat constantly. I’ve eaten non-stop for four days. I ate FOUR PIECES of ice-cream cake on Saturday. FOUR. It’s just eat and eat and eat and…eat. Depression does the same thing to me. So does stress. Sometimes Mondays make me want to eat too, just because they just suck. So, since I’m a wee depressed, and stressed, and I have this headache, and it’s Monday - I’ve been eating nonstop all day. SERIOUSLY. I think I need to find other ways to cope.

Maybe I should start drinking?

(Just kidding.)

And you know? My life is actually really boring. Why do I feel so stressed? When I was in college - life was MUCH harder. Classes, work, poverty, motherhood all WITHOUT MrZ there by my side. Now I can go to bed 9pm if I want, the bills get paid, and I have a hot husband waiting for me at home. Why am I stressed? Who in the hell knows. I’m thinking I just feel left out because everyone else in my life has big things going on: College admissions, wedding planning, home repairs, job hunting - things that are really stressful. I guess I feel left out so I’m all, “I have had a headache. For four days. I’m stressed. Give me chocolate.”

It took us almost three months to cut our molars. Why am I grouping myself in that statement like we, as a group, are cutting teeth? BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE. Those molars were awful. We had to go back to wearing bibs everyday, which I hate. But if we did not? The drool would soak NikkiZ’s clothes within a few hours. Even with the bib, her clothes would still get soaked. Just not as fast. As a matter of fact to combat the constant flood from NikkiZ’s mouth, they replace the bib we send her in with a school bib at lunch time, give the original bib time to dry, and then they would put it back on her after nap. And would still be soaked when we’d come get her.

There was a LOT of drool.

A few weeks ago, all of the molars poked through at once. FINALLY. And then a week later? The drool stopped. We had a reprieve from the constant wiping of her face and changing of her clothes. It was heaven.

But now - now there are canines. Those crappers are coming in all at the same time too. What’s up with that? I guess I’d prefer that over one-at-a-time for the next 10 years, but still. BAH. So -The Drool -it has returned. As has the screaming and the biting and the general unpleasantness. I think this is it, though. Once these suckers come through, I don’t think there’s anymore left for awhile.

Of course, now that I’ve said that, she’ll probably cut her 12-year molars and her wisdom teeth by June.

I just got back from taking LilZ to see Epic Movie for his birthday. He wanted to see it with his friends tomorrow, but a lot of people wouldnt want their kids to see it, so I promised to take him tonight to see it. He loves all of those movies: Scary Movie, Date Movie etc. Of course, he loved this one almost as much as the others. However, I wanted to shoot myself during some parts of the movie and found myself falling asleep towards the end. The preview BEFORE the movie about John Travolta and William H. Macy in a bicycle gang was funnier than the entire movie. I tried to explain to LilZ, “It’s just not my sense of humor.”

And that may be the understatement of the year. I think that movie may have been one of the worst I’ve ever had to sit through. Meanwhile, my 12-year-old son is about to pee on himself he’s laughing so hard. And the funny thing? I know MrZ would have been as well. It looks like it’s time for me to pass the torch of Parent Who Takes LilZ to the Movies off to him. And I’ll do so very happily.

Until the next Harry Potter comes out, of course. Then I’m stealing the torch back.

The Today Show invited Melissa on to talk about how Moms like to sometimes drink a cocktail, or a beer, or a glass of whine…while their kids are around. Heaven forbid, I know! After seeing the video, I feel like it was another case of Judging Mothers 101: How To Empower Yourself By Insulting Others.

Melissa was wonderful and brought up great points, as usual. Dr. Janet, however, seemed judgmental and close-minded. Here are the questions I would like Dr. Janet to answer:

1) If my family is invited to a wedding, and we all attend (including my kids), am I allowed to have a glass of wine then?

2) If I run to the store and leave my kids at home with my husband while he watches the game, and he has a beer while I’m gone, will you judge him too?

3) If we go grab dinner at the local Mexican dive as a family mid-week, and I decide to have a Mexican beer with my meal (Dos Equis to be exact), am I being irresponsible?

There are so many times that parents drink in moderation and no one even flinches. We’re allowed to have a glass of wine if our husband is home, even if he’s having one too. No one cares if we gather for Sunday dinner at Grandma’s and every adult has a beer. Yet, somehow, Melissa and other mothers put the words “cocktails and playdates” together in a sentence and the whole world is shaking their head in unison, whispering about “drinking problems” and “neglected children.”

Either these judgmental moms are robots and never have bad days, or they’re just better at coping than I am. If I stay at home with my kids and no adults all day, my parenting diminishes as the clock ticks on. That’s a fact. And that is without alcohol. However, if I take a break in the early evening and crack open a beer, or pour a glass of wine and hang out with some friends, I feel rejuvenated. I rediscover the non-Mom in me which makes the Mom in me a better person. It’s one beer. One glass of wine. At home. It’s not a damn big deal. I think we have much greater problems to discuss with Mothers in this country - like why are we allowing our kids to wear 80s fashions? THAT is something we need to stomp out RIGHT NOW.

Dear Melissa - Thank you. If you’re ever in Alabama, cocktails are on me.

Edited to Add: Melissa wrote a really great article today, Recapping how the whole thing went down. I also want to go on record saying when I watched the segment online, I fast-forwarded to the part with Melissa. I missed the girl who said something (hopefully in jest and out of context) about sober moms not being good moms. That would have offended me too.