I need fat!
Okay. I took my daughter to her 15-month checkup yesterday. I love her pediatrician, but most of the time, because she has two offices, she lets the nurse practitioner handle the well-baby checkups. Which is normally fine because she’s okay too. And the nurse who gives her the immunizations? God’s gift to parents. She’s sweet, perky, she remembers everyone, and somehow she can give shots and keep the child from crying. AMAZING. MAGIC.
Yesterday? I didn’t know anyone in the office except the girl at the desk. BAH.
The LNP (That is the kind that can write prescriptions, right? I get confused with the letters.) asked if NikkiZ drinks whole milk. I said, “Well – she doesn’t like it – but we try.”
Now – I know the whole, “Fats are important for brains” thing. She eats gobs of fish and yogurt. She will sometimes even drink whole chocolate milk, but rarely. The nurse, however, was evidently born into the dairy industry because she exclaimed, “YOU MUST GIVE HER WHOLE MILK OR HER BRAIN WON’T DEVELOP.”
Okay. See? I get the point. It’s an easy fix to a common problem. But in reality – does she really think our bodies were designed to REQUIRE milk from a DIFFERENT ANIMAL to develop? Not only that, but she is aware that there are kids with milk allergies, right? She does realize that those kids aren’t all mentally handicapped, RIGHT? I was actually looking forward to suggestions from this visit for other things we could try. Not some sort of Dairy Association sponsored propaganda. It was very weird. I said, “Well, we were looking for other things to try as well. Like Whole Soy Milk, can we give her that?”
Her response, “You REALLY need to give her WHOLE MILK.”
Yeah, thanks lady. I have spent five minutes online and found out that kids with milk allergies are encouraged to eat fish, yogurt, and….WHOLE SOY MILK. Bah.
So, do you have a kid in the same boat? Or with allergies to milk? What do you give them? I was a vegetarian for six years and a vegan for 9 months, I’ve read my share of PETA-type propaganda. If there is anything I learned from all of that, is that we are the only mammal that continues to drink milk past weaning. I’m not saying milk is bad (but I’m sure there are people who do), but I think it’s pretty safe to assume there is a different alternative and it’s not a Milk or Never Truly Understand Geometry type of black and white issue.
Oh – and please pass on the “You should switch doctors!” comments. That’s a dilemma all in itself that is way more complicated than just this entry. Thanks.
Now – give me alternatives to whole milk (or links to articles about this would be AWESOME) before my daughter becomes destined to live a life without Calculus.
(Wait. Is that a bad thing?)
Goats Milk is my answer. I was on Goats Milk as a child. I did not live on a farm, I lived in Atlantic City. It actually is higher in fat than whole milk, and believe it or not has less allergens than cow’s milk.
There are so many conflicting stories for parents today. One minute they say reduce the “FAT” the next you have to increase the whole fat. I do recall my Mom telling me that whole milk was better than the 2 percent or low fat, (she was a nutritionist) because the whole fat wasn’t processed like the others. One thing she would do with the grandkids or clients, to get them to drink milk was start them with a tasty cereal that wasn’t really good for them. They as young kids associated the sweet taste with milk. The other thing my Mom said was young kids like it cold. Never put milk in a sippee cup to walk around with. It becomes warm, sour and turns a child right off.
I think NikkiZ will be fine with the foods she is getting. Yogurt, cheese, calcuim in her daily vitamins, will work with her not so much fat milk.
As for the changing doctors, that is easier said then done, and you have to adjust your life to your comfort, not what the doctor or PA wants you to do.
My son has milk allergy and there are so many more ways to get good nutrients and calcium. We use the calcium fortified orange juice, broccoli, cheese, almonds, yogurt (we use the organic drinkable yogurts from Horizon and love them).
The only problem with goat milk is that it is lower in iron than cow milk.
Cheese. (Cheese cures everything as far as I’m concerned
)
Rice milk is probably worth investigating. There is one on the market called Rice Dream or something similar.
I hate rude people in the doctor’s office, especially for children because a lot of parents are nervous enough without their doctor or the nurses being snippy and rude if they have a question. Anyway…
I’m no expert, but I’ve never heard anyone say that fat should be reduced in the diet for children. Not in the first two years, anyway.
I think the yogurt is an excellent choice, my son eats tons of yogurt. Whole Milk, Plain Yogurt. Cottage Cheese and Cheese of all sorts.
If it’s iron that is a concern, does she like chickpeas, kidney beans or lima beans? My boy is a beans FANATIC.
I hate hearing these stories – health staff who don’t truly understand what it is that they are preaching, and are unable to appreciate the concept of natural human variation when it comes to areas such as diet adn child development (I don’t have children, but I am a nutritionist and so this is a topic near to me).
I think you are spot on here anyway: she is getting fat from other sources in her diet (plenty of fish = especially good) and so its not likely to be a case of Whole Milk or Die like the nurse practitioner seems to think. As far as alternatives go, the best choice for you would be to check the labelling on the alternatives (I’m not intimately familiar with American products, so I can’t help you there). Compare the products with 4 points in mind:
1. Highest in fat
2. Lowest in sugars
3. Highest mineral content (particularly iron and calcium)
4. Highest in protein (rice milk is unlikely to be any good based purely on this point).
I would expect that a soy milk with added calcium would be likely to come out on top here. Otherwise, there is always a ‘follow-on’ or toddler formula, but if she is otherwise doing well with eating a variety of foods, that probably won’t be necessary.
This link may help (a little vague, but reputable at least):
http://www.andrews.edu/NUFS/Vegan%20Children.html
My son (now 12) would not drink milk so we gave him Westsoy Plus soy milk. He’s a 6th grader and does calc. for fun, so I guess it didn’t hurt his brain that he didn’t drink milk untill he was 10. My other two kids (12 & 6) still will only drink the soy milk.
I consume a ton of milk and milk products, always have – I love me some cow milk dairy products, and I still can’t do calculus, or geometry, or even simple Algebra for that matter. God, some days I can barely add and subtract correctly.
My brother had a milk allergy when we were growing up, and this was before the days of Soy and Rice formulas, so he was also put on Goat’s milk. He eventually outgrew the milk allergy, but he never really got a taste for cow milk, now he preferes Rice and Soy “dairy” products.
My BFF’s little boy is also allergic to milk, so he drinks Soy milk/formula. She said they recently cut out formula and now he drink Silk brand Soy Milk, as per her Pedeatrician’s suggestions.
I really dont’ have any advice, but I know what it’s like to LOVE your pedeatrician and not love the LPN or PA so much. My only assvice would be to call and ask to speak directly to the Pedeatrician and make them aware of what happened with the LPN. You can also request to deal only with the Pedeatrician. I know it makes you seem like “THAT” parent, but I’ve found as much as I HATEHATEHATE to be “THAT” parent, sometimes I just have to. (I recently went through an issues with my daughter’s Pedeatrician. Her assistant was giving me conflicting advice about something and no matter what I would tell her she would say “I understand, but this is what worked for MY kids.” well, my kid isn’t her kid, and all kids aren’t the same, so I finally called and told them about what was going on and asked to only deal with the doctor from here on out. Since then that PA is no longer working in the office, and they have a new AWESOME PA, who also happens to be my neighbor. SCORE for me! and i can go back to not haveing to be THAT parent. though, if they hadn’t switched PA’s, I’d be fine still being THAT parent.)
that was really long, sorry, but I hope you guys find a good solution!
Well, I have two pediatricians basically, because one is there on certain days and when she is not there the other one is in. One is singing the whole milk mantra when we go in and the other is saying that new studies show that babies get plenty of fat from other places and they don’t need the whole milk. She said to just give him fat free milk so he would be used to it since our society now is so fat anyway. He turned out to be allergic to milk and wouldn’t drink any kind of milk such as soy, so I breast fed him until the allergy passed. Some grow out of it as our son did.
My son is allergic to dairy and he drinks Silk soy milk. We give him the “Enhanced” kind, which has 35% of the recommended daily amt. of calcium per cup. Even the Silk chocolate has 30% per cup. He takes a vitamin every day, too. The website http://www.godairyfree.org might have more suggestions and links.
My son has problems with whole milk, and we started him on Soy milk. The kind that taste like vanilla,and our doc said it was fine, he just has to drink 24 oz of it a day compared to the 18oz of whole milk a day. As long as she eats some kind of dairy products it shouldnt be a problem. My son loves cheese and yogourt, and he’s fine.
My (now three year old) son would not drink whole milk either. He has been drinking 2% for over two years and is definitely not brain damaged as a result. He ate two or three whole milk yogurts a day, lots of cheeses and such. He is now a master at putting fairly advanced puzzles together and draws dogs and people with amazing detail. I never told the doctor that he didn’t drink whole milk. If they asked I just nodded, because really, he was thriving. I wasn’t worried. You could try Soy milk perhaps, but I’m sure your llittle girl will be just fine no matter what.
i just (like right this second) saw an ad for peanut butter containing your daily dose of omega 3 fatty acids.
it’s the answer to everything.
good luck.
also, soy milk? is it nasty?
I’m allergic to milk and was on soy after just a couple of weeks, mom couldn’t even nurse me (good GOD that sounds FREAKING GROSS). I couldn’t have fish either. Somehow I survived and am not mentally deficient (with the exception of web stuff, because that WordPress 2.1 is kicking my BUTT and it shouldn’t be)… ya know, I can tie my shoes and everything.
That LPN sounds like a total jerk.
I have had major issues with my daughter’s original pediatrician (hence switching to a non-shitty one) telling me things as if they were gospel when really they’re just child-rearing advice from 30 years ago. When I was a kid, milk gave me stomachaches and so my mom gave me goats milk. then I went to kindergarten and they forced me to drink the milk at snack time or I couldn’t go out for recess. So I would come home every afternoon with a stomachache. Finally my mom figured out the deal and raised a huge stink, but Milk-Pushers piss me off to this day. I love cheese, yogurt, etc, it’s just straight milk that has waaaaay too much lactose for a lot of people. Also, it tastes like ass to some of us.
Cheese, Whole (Not Reduced Fat) Yogurt (Yo-Baby is good) … Ice Cream ?
Sounds like the dumbo LNP was mixing fact with opinion … sorry she bummed you out. NikkiZ looks really healthy from all the pics. It’s not like shes too skinny or anything. Once again, just follow your intuition, and send hate mail to the LNP.
Try Lactaid milk, or a lactose-free generic brand. And maybe try different flavors — strawberry or vanilla. She may like them better.
I’ve never heard the whole milk-brain connection but as far as the calcium she needs, if she eats 8 ounces of yogurt plus some cheese each day, that should make up for not drinking milk.
The nurse may be pushing whole cow’s milk because of its unique nutrient package and because it is the best source of absorbable calcium.
I wouldn’t get myself too wrapped up in this LPN’s over-reaction. She obviously wasn’t actually listening to you and was just giving her “standard speech”
It is unfortunate, but there are far to many parents that in the desire to keep their kids from becoming too fat, make some poor choices (I had an aunt that gave her daughter skim milk at a VERY young age, until the pediatrician threatened to call Family Services). So the health professionals tend now to over emphasize it for the sake of those that are “choosing” to eliminate these necessary fatty acids by choice.
You are doing right by your daughter, there are plenty of alternative sources (as you already know) of the milk fat, such as yogurt and cheese. You could of course try making smoothies combining some milk along with fruit. And while it may not be the most nutritional source of milk fat, Ice Cream always works (in small amounts) of course, or Real Whipped Cream (not Cool Whip or other non-dairy “whipped toppings) mixed with fruit such as strawberries.
Oh, and since you asked for it, here is a link from the National Institute of Health (as if you couldn’t find it yourself
http://www.nichd.nih.gov/milk/can/prob.cfm
Sorry, I forget one more. This article is based on a question posed by someone about replacing Milk with Rice Milk (although I am kind of thinking that if she doesn’t like cow’s milk, the chances of her liking Rice Milk are slim).
The reason I am passing this one along is because since Rice Milks is lacking in certain areas as compared to Cow’s Milk, the author provides some alternatives where the sources of calcium etc can be made up in the diet, and I am thinking that is what you are actually looking for (right?)
http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bnutrition/0,,3vrt,00.html
Donuts have fat, right?? And if you get her some of the cream filled ones she is also getting dairy. I prescribe NikkiZ one cream filled donut a day.
Not a parent, but I must pass along a comment from my doctor (who is awesome). We were discussing calcium and I commented that I don’t drink milk. His answer “That’s OK. Milk is fine for baby cows. Not very valuable for humans.” The other interesting fact, completely not on the topic of enough fat (unfortunately, not a problem for me) is that getting enough vitamin D is much more important for strong bones than getting calcium in one’s diet.
Wow! Is your nurse on the American Dairy Council? There are plenty of alternatives for you to look into that are either just as, or in some cases more, nutritious and will aid in child development.
Here’s an interesting article that discusses various whole milk alternatives. Good luck!
http://www.cookiemag.com/brain/kidhealth/2006/10/notmilk
CHEESE! String Cheese, Yogurt, Any dairy she enjoys even if it’s ice cream cups for dessert.
My doctor did the same thing!!! My kid doesn’t really care for milk and I got tired of it going bad. I did a comparison on the Yobaby drinkable yogurt for fat content, so we primarily do that and mix it with soymilk.
I think the education regarding high fat is crucial, but I have doubts that it HAS to come from cow’s milk.
Also, forgot to mention, when they are around our kids’ age, they only need two cups of whole milk a day. The high fat requirement is only for the first 2 years. Also, we do soymilk that has omega 3s in it, which studies are showing are also important for brain development.
However, you make a valid point. I agree that if a kid gets good well-rounded nutrition, he/she will be fine. My husband grew up in India in the 70s where moms just gave their kids what was available. He ended up going Ivy League, so believe you me, when I bring up this nutrition stuff, he’s all bah humbug on me.
Poor little NikkiZ — I sympathize! I HATE milk of any kind, yuck. I’m not lactose intolerant (I eat a little cheese, yogurt, and ice cream), but damn I detest milk. That residue it leaves in your mouth, and just its general disgusting taste and smell.
What the hell do I know, but Meg’s comment upthread:
“That LPN sounds like a total jerk.”
seems right on target.
I think your instinct seems right on… she’s getting lots of good fat from elsewhere. I’m guessing it’s not like the cow milk fat somehow changes from “good” to “bad” when it becomes cheese or yogurt!
I think someone else mentioned it, but you should consider calling your pediatrician at least to let her know what the LPN told you and ask for her advice on the issue. I bet she says you are doing exactly the right thing and maybe she’ll even have some other suggestions about getting whole milk in NikkiZ’s diet if you are still concerned.
I’m not a mother, but the whole drinking cow’s milk into adulthood is bizarre to me. It oogs me out if I think about it too much, actually. We’re the only mammal that not only drinks milk after weaning but another animal’s milk to boot! Weird. We’ve been brainwashed, that’s for sure. I don’t think milk is *bad* it’s just weird when you start thinking about it. I think I get most of my calcium these days from calcium fortified OJ, leafy greens and cheese.
Great, now I have to worry about Kaitlyn being brain damaged. She would not drink whole milk, but one day I gave her a sip of the 2% I buy for the boys and she chugged down the whole glass. I’d rather have her drinking the 2% for the calcium than nothing at all. She would rather eat a whole bowl of vegetables than cheese, and only eats one yogurt a day. I’m not worried, and like someone else said, Nikki looks plenty healthy to me!
ARRGGGH!! I can’t stand it when people, especially medical professionals, do this. It’s a load of crap. My nephew couldn’t drink milk and my sister was given so much shit by his other grandmother about it. He drank soy milk and is one of the smartest kids I know. IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL! I can’t stand milk and I’m doing fine!!
Lucky for me, Cole will drink almost anything. What we do so that he can drink constantly and not have too much fat is cut whole milk about in half with warm water. He seems to like it fine and it’s an easy way to warm it up so it’s not too harsh in his belly.
Nut butters are a pretty good source of good fat. We use almond butter because we’re still wary about peanut stuff. There’s a lower risk of allergies with nuts other than peanut, but it’s still possible.
I doubt the LNP is a jerk- she’s just brainwashed!
A lot of kids don’t like milk or meat. Mine have never liked either. My kids both used to love Soy Dream Original Enriched — all the calcium of cow’s milk, plus iron, which cow’s milk does not have at all.
And a fair amount of fat, too.
Now they just do whole yogurt and cheese. My daughter loves Rice Dream.
Is it possible at all to speak to the actual pediatrician? Like, leave a message for her (herself) to call you back? I’d think there’d have to be a way somehow to talk to her and maybe you can ask her directly what she thinks. I think if you explain the situation, she’ll have some good suggestions.
Other than that, just a big “yeah” to what everyone else said. When I was a baby, my pediatrician had my mom give me SKIM MILK since he thought I was gaining too much weight (whatev) and I think I turned out okay.
I’m not here to give assvice, just my my little piece of knowledge on the subject. Do what you want with it.
I’d heartily recommend NOT going with Soy Milk as a dairy alternative. My father in-law has done some thorough research on the health benefits of soy and has actually found that there really aren’t as many benefits to soy as the soy industry might have you think. Here’s a segment from his free newsletter:
“Perhaps the most serious of concerns involving soy revolves around infant formulas, which are often made from soy as an alternative to dairy. This is another case of trying to figure out the lesser of two evils. Infants are even more susceptible than adults to the antinutrients, allergens, and hormones in soy protein. The perfect food, of course, is human breast milk. When that is not available, I would look for non-soy and non-dairy alternatives. I would also avoid feeding children a diet that is high in soy protein, for the same reasons mentioned above, amplified by their young, developmental stage in life.”
You can read the rest of his research on soy at his website: http://www.lifetrekcoaching.com/provisions/20061015.htm
Sounds like you’re doing a good job with sticking with the fish.
PS: NikkiZ rocks!
My son is allergic to milk and you will think I am crazy, but our allergist had us keep him on soy formula until he was 2 to ensure he got all the nutrients he needed.
I think you are the best judge of what your daughter needs. Do your own research and decide what is best – you know, you are her mother.
Hi,
I lurk all the time & just had to post a comment to this. My daughter hates milk & cheese. I have tried everything, but she won’t drink or eat it. Her ped/NP said that as long as she is eating yogurt she would be fine. Well guess what, she won’t eat yogurt either. I have found the one thing that she will drink, smoothie drinks. I just get the publix brand & she will drink them a champ. Just a little suggestion.
Also, I love your blog:)
We don’t even keep milk in the house, or cheese or any dairy products. I personally only drink soy milk and my children do too.
Sorry my three year old knows the whole alphabet and has the spelling of about fifty words memorized. I think his brain is okay.
As a nurse practitioner (FNP which means Family Nurse Practitioner or the one at your office might be a PNP Pediatric Nurse Practitioner) I hate hearing that you had a bad experience with your NP. Most people like to see NP’s because we tend to listen and spend more time with our patients. Obviously, this was not the case for you. Yes, children (especially under 2) need fat for their brains to develop (that’s why breast milk is usually so high in fat) but it DOES NOT have to come from cow’s milk. You have gotten some wonderful responses so I won’t add anything else, but you are her Mom and sounds like you have a great intuition about what NikkiZ needs. Listen to your gut!!
Cow’s milk gives me the creeps a little. I consume milk products, but the whole idea of consuming food, in such large quantities, that was intended for calves is kind of weird in my book. MrMan eats a lot of plain yogurt and loves cheese. Also, for the sake of his brain (though his tastebuds don’t complain too much) avocado, nut butters, and some fish. For the sake of his bones, broccoli – he loves it. Once in a while, I give him enriched soy milk, which I drink, but he’s not crazy about it. I’ll probably increase my efforts on that front as I wean him.
Bummer that the NP wasn’t open to other sources of nutrients. I wonder what she thinks much of the world has done for eons, before we convinced them they couldn’t live without cow’s milk.
We have the opposite problem, getting our 2 year old to eat something other than whole milk, cheese and yogurt, so I don’t really have any advice for you there that everyone else hasn’t said 30 times. I do however have to question the logic of the PETA propaganda that we are the only mammal to drink milk past weaning. Why are we taking orur nutritional advice from other animals? I have seen dogs eat their own vomit and frankly I think I would prefer milk to that!
I’m a vegetarian and although I’m not against dairy (I love cheese), I very rarely drink milk. I’m a Soy Milk Guy through and through. Once you go Soy you never go back. We get Silk Enhanced because it’s chock-full-o-stuff. People get really weird about their dairy, though.
Have you ever read the book “Freakonomics”? I’m reading it now and it’s a fascinating read. I’m at the part in the book where they write about a number of things that “experts” and “doctors” and “whoever” like to scare parents with…but the numbers say that they really don’t pose much of a risk. It kind of helps you to realize that although there are “scary” things to be concerned about…those “scary” things are few and managable.
My daughter wouldn’t drink “plain milk” so I bought the stonyfield yogurt drinks in various fruity flavors and mixed about 2 ounces in with her milk. She still drinks it this way at age 4. It worked for us.
We did soy milk for a long time due to lactose intolerance. When they started to refuse that, their pediatrician said they were fine with that orange juice that has calcium, plus veggies like broccolli.
I remember reading somewhere that cows milk was a cause of childhoold diabetes because it nuturally has so many sugars, and kids drink so much of it.