I think every year Spring gets shorter and shorter here in the Tennessee Valley. We had a couple of 60-degree days a few weeks ago. Then it got chilly again. Then we had a few 70-degree days. And then this week? We’re in the upper 80s all week. Just like that. Spring is gone and summer is here. Last year it seemed like it was only Spring-ish for about a month. This year? I’d say we had two weeks of Spring-like temps and weather. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a hot summer type of gal, but it would be nice to have at least four weeks of a transition season so my body can have time to adjust.

Remember how I went three summers without air-conditioning in my car? And one of those summers I was pregnant? Of course you remember. There are probably 60 ass-sweat entries documenting that fateful summer. We got it fixed last spring and I’ve been using the hell out of it this week, wondering how in the hell I survived three summers without it.

Guess who doesn’t have air-conditioning in his car now? Yep. MrZ. His went out in the Fall and this is the first week the temperatures have been WAY TOO DAMN HIGH TO LIVE WITHOUT A/C. You better believe we’re getting that problem fixed this week, if I have anything to say about it. I’ve lived with perpetual sweat stain for entire summers…I wouldn’t force that condition on my most hated enemy. And I definitely wouldn’t force it on someone I love.

Especially if I have to live with that person and simply don’t want to have to listen to the bitching all summer.

I’m a good wife like that.

I’m sitting here very impatiently waiting for a certain BFF of mine to come over. She started her new job today and will be staying the week with me until she moves here officially on April 7th. She, my friend Junkie (who now lives in Seattle) and I used to spend several nights a week together when our kids were babies. Our lives have changed a lot since then, and none of us have lived in the same town in about 6 years. Junkie went and moved to Seattle until I can find her a job here (right, Junkie?) but Stace is moving a couple of miles down the road from me. And all we need now is a bottle of Boone’s Farm, a carton of cigarettes, and some Dead playing in the background - and it will be like old times.

This week, however, it’s going to be slumber party every night! I’m totally having to resist the urge to break out the nail polish and I am trying to remind myself that we’re not nine and that she probably would rather do more grown-up things tonight. Like drink copious amounts of alcohol and watch Dancing with the Stars. A show she will grow to love. If I have anything to say about it.

Either way - I’m taking bets on how long it will be before she regrets moving here. And what will it be that pushes her over the edge? Will it be the frequent phone calls from me saying, “Help! I need someone to pick up my kids from school!” Or maybe my perpetual presence at her apartment with the pool? Or will it possibly be the constant “coincidence” that occurs every night my family shows up at her door just about dinner time? (Did I mention she actually cooks? How did I not learn from her?) I’m betting the final straw of her tolerance will be the 18th time I spill something on her carpet. I’m thinking she’s forgotten how much destruction a klutz like me can cause on a person’s home.

Hurry up, Stacey! I’ve got the latest copy of Teen Beat for us to drool over! I hear Bon Jovi is making a comeback.

Okay! Time for some discipline around here, people. I’ve been slacking on my blogging duties and I think that’s why I’ve been a bit cranky and emotional. If I don’t blog on a regular basis, it’s like a clogged drain. A buildup of bitching and pondering and whining and celebrating build up on my soul if I don’t release it on this blog and I start to just feel CRAPPY. Can you believe that? My emotional stability has come to fluctuate with the activity on my blog. THIS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM.

So, I’m going to quit slacking off on the weekends and at night and I’m going to get back to updating this site regularly. And by “regularly” I mean “more than once a day” because we all know that if I’m only blogging once a day, then something is wrong. I’m going to update my Flickr photos (I’m taking gobs of pictures, just leaving them on my camera like a lazy ass) and maybe change the masthead! It’s going to be KRAZEE around here.

On that note - I’d like to draw your attention to the latest addition on my sidebar: The Reading Section. “But Zoot, that’s always been there!” Well, yes it has. But - now it’s new and improved! Now it requires almost zero effort on my part. It is lazy-friendly! It is now tied in to my Google Reader and all I have to do to tell you I found something I like is to click “share” on my Google Reader and Ta-Da! It’s updated on my sidebar. So, when I stumble upon some juicy celebrity gossip, or some exciting Harry Potter news, OR - if one of you writes something I find entertaining or brilliant (as usual) - I can mark “share” on my Google Reader and it will automatically update it here. IT’S A MIRACLE!

I’m a total Google Whore.

DUDE. All of you people constantly bitching about allergies? I’m sorry for possibly rolling my eyes are your complaints and never completely appreciating your pain. I finally experiences full fledge “Allergies” this weekend complete with 100 sneezes in 2.5 seconds, swollen eyes, and tear-inducing headaches. I had this type of reaction when I was a kid, but for the last 12 years, I’ve only had problems with itchy/watery eyes in early Spring. I was not so lucky this weekend. Nope. I was miserable. The 100 sneezes in 2.5 seconds comment? NOT AN EXAGGERATION. I actually think my headache from last night was a tension headache resulting from the non-stop sneezing I had been doing for the hours before.

But from evil? We can always find good. And that good is: Benadryl. My mother-in-law blessed me with the gift of Benadryl last night and all sneezing stopped! Eyes no longer watery! Throat no longer scratchy! Of course I was incredibly lethargic but still - no sneezing! I love you, Benadryl. You are my new BFF.

It was also a tricky parenting weekend. I can’t share the details because I think that would be disprespectful to LilZ, but let’s just say some of you who have given me your phone numbers for Blog Gatherings almost got tearful calls from me yesterday as I desperately tried to find parents to advise me. Let this be a warning to those of you thinking about giving me your phone number for BlogHer Chicago, I WILL ABUSE IT IN THE FUTURE.

Needless to say, I’m actually a little glad Monday is here.

I can’t believe I just said that.

I’ve mentioned that NikkiZ isn’t picking up words like the other kids in her class. She’ll point out every piece of litter along the highway on the way home yelling, “Trash!” but she won’t say “Juice”. When we watch Ellen in the evenings she’ll say, “Ellen” when I prompt her, but she won’t say “Mommy”. She has a weird selection of words she likes to say (like “Hot Sauce”) and it has actually become quite entertaining to see what random word she’ll say instead of something useful like “beer”.

BUT - it’s not like she’s not talking! Not at all. She talks CONSTANTLY. She is the most vocal little chatterbox you’ve every seen. She’ll point at something and say a long stretch of words and syllables and nod at us like, “Don’t you agree with my assessment of this situation?” Or she’ll come to us with something in hand and spit out an entire paragraph ending with a question tone and actually look at us like she’s expecting an answer. We just nod and say, “Yes! Definitely!” every time. Sometimes she smiles like, “Good. That’s what I thought.” Other times she seems to actually shake her head in disgust. We are such a disappointment as parents.

I think she really does have a lot to say, but has decided that she’s not going to let a stupid language get in her way. Periodically we’ll recognize one word in the mix as a sign that she does periodically use words she knows, but it’s still hard to gather the meaning of “Blah blah blah blah shoes blah blah blah” if she’s holding a spoon and pointing out the window. I’ll try my best and say something like, “You want to go outside and eat some shoes?” And of course, she responds like any normal person would with a look that says, “Damn, lady. You’re kinda stupid. I can’t believe they let you drive.”