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The radio show I listen to in the mornings had an interesting discussion recently about whether or not a wife is nagging her husband based on 10 simple questions. Based on the amount of times you answer “yes” – then you can see whether you may be a nag. Now – in their defense – they often discuss things that men do poorly in relationships, this is not some sort of anti-wife campaign. It actually produced some interesting commentary about how men need validation as much as women, just for different things.

BUT – the quiz. See? I do NOT want to be a nagging wife. I know nagging wives and they annoy me and I’m not even married to them. However, sometimes I feel like I may be turning into a nagging wife so I thought I would take the quiz. Here is the quiz as well as my answers:

1. Have you told your husband that you wished he made more money?
No. My husband makes a good living. Now, I might wish we had more money sometimes – but don’t we all?

2. Do you frequently remind your husband to pick up after himself?
Yes. BUT (of course I have to defend myself) – I don’t think I do it an annoying amount. But I guess he’s probably the best judge of that and so I’ll answer “yes” to be safe.

3. Do you dislike your husband’s family or close friends and tell him about it?
No. All of my friends and family can attest to how much I love MrZ’s friends and family. I am a very lucky woman. I married into an awesome family.

4. Do you frequently criticize your husband for his bad habits?
Yes. BUT (again with the defending) he only has a few bad habits. Maybe even only one real one. I won’t reveal it for risk of embarassing him. (That should totally earn me points, by the way.)

5. Do you contradict your husband in front of the children or your friends?
Yes. I am VERY bad about this. This is an awful quality I have berated myself for over and over again. I will not defend this because it is an AWFUL thing to do. I deserve a lot of bad points for that one.

6. When you and your husband are with others, do you ever “joke” about him being less than romantic?
No. I brag about him often. I might pick on him alone about being more romantic, but I brag about him often. Again. I’m a lucky woman.

7. Do you tell your husband that he rarely lifts a hand to help you?
Yes. BUT (I obviously have issues…) I don’t phrase it quite like that. I try to find ways to gently point out I might could use some help. He helps – A LOT – but I am often asking for more help. So – I probably need some points knocked off for that. I think I may want him to carry MORE than his share so that I could be more lazy.

8. Have you told your husband that you wish he could be more like your father or some other man you admire?
No. I worship the ground my father walks on and think he is an amazing man and amazing father. But my husband is just as amazing. I have been blessed with wonderful men in my life. I would never insult one by comparing him to the other.

9. Do you frequently remind your husband not to eat certain foods or to not touch food items in the refrigerator?
No. I don’t even really understand that question. Would I do that because I think he’s fat? (He’s not.) Or would I do that because I want the food myself? (Which I do.) Either way. I don’t do it.

10. If you know something is bothering your husband, do you force him to talk?
Yes. But (you knew it was coming…) he is laid back and only rarely has things bothering him. So, when it does, I want to talk about it – but I don’t keep him up every night asking what’s wrong.

Okay. I’ve taken the test. I had FIVE “Yes” answers. And defended my actions as much as possible and personally I don’t think I deserve all five. But – I guess I should be too hard than too easy on myself. Here is how they say to score:

To find out whether you irritate your husband, add your “yes”
answers, then check your total against the scoring key below.

0-3 You’re an easy woman to live with and probably don’t irritate your man.

4-6 You tend to irritate your mate, but you can improve simply by taking a close look at the questions you answered with a “yes,” then changing those things.

7-10 You are a nag! You definitely irritate your husband. Even if you feel that he is the one annoying you, it’s time to take a look at your own part in the unpleasantness. You will eventually drive your man away!

(sidenote: That last scoring is a wee harsh, doncha’ think? I hope if I ever nag that bad I drive my husband TO DRINK, not AWAY.)

So, I think my score of “5″ and what they say probably fits well. I know there are things I need to work on, but I am fairly certain MrZ isn’t sitting around getting more and more irritated with me and being pushed further away. I’m actually one of those women who could easily drift into that “nag” category. I hear it in my voice sometimes. (I’m sure MrZ hears it more often.) It is definitely an easy routine to fall into and I work to try to avoid it. I’m not proud of how easily I could be a nag – but I am proud I know enough to recognize that and try to avoid it.

MrZ is a very lucky man. He’s lucky I remind him of that every day.