Confessions of a Chronic Crier
When we started the journey to have a baby several years ago – the failures along the way turned me into a very strange person. Well – stranger than usual. I started crying at the most awkward times. Mostly it was either at the site of a happy pregnant woman, or when seeing a happy Daddy holding a baby. I found myself with tears in my eyes at Target, the bank, and at just about any restaurant around town. It led to several moments where I had to rub my eyes and mumble something about my “damn allergies.”
As I started progressing successfully through my pregnancy with NikkiZ, my anxiety over possibly losing her caused my sudden onset of tears to get even worse. I would do more than get misty eyes, I would actually start sobbing at about any commercial involving diapers, baby wash, or minivans (don’t ask). I actually burst into tears one day at hearing “Daddy’s Hands” over the loudspeaker at a department store. Luckily – I was about 8 months pregnant so no one even looked at me funny. Actually, one woman offered me a tissue.
Since NikkiZ has been born – the tendency to burst into tears at inopportune times has faded – but my emotions are still really close to the surface and it’s started to drive me batshit insane. Ellen intervied Laura Dern a few weeks ago and they were talking about Ellen’s coming out episode on her sitcom and how different the attitude is now and I started crying. WHY? Last week’s episode of House with two sick brothers? I cried the entire hour. I teared up at the store one day when I woman was telling me how cool it was to watch LilZ with his sister, and I have cried everytime I think of my sister-in-law graduating from high school and leaving us for college at the end of the summer. And the entire last two miles of my marathon? The tears were right there waiting to pour down my face. Luckily my funny-as-hell brother was there to keep me laughing so that I wouldn’t humiliate us all at the finish line.
But seriously – it is starting to get REALLY OLD. It’s like I’ve no control over my emotions for the last several years. I had tears in my eyes when I went to lunch with my friend’s daughter last week. I checked in at the office of her elementary school and was crying while I signed the sheet because I was so overcome by how awesome it was that I was able to go eat there. It’s no wonder they even let me past the front office – they were probably worried I was inSANE. WHAT SHOULD I DO? I mean – is there medication I could take to toughen me up a bit? And do I acknowledge it’s happening to the people around me and apologize, or should I just pretend there aren’t tears running down my face when I am purchasing a case of diet cokes? Am I officially losing my mind? Or is it already gone and this is just the sign that I need to be committed? BAH.
Heaven forbid I ever get pregnant again. I’d just have to always wear a shirt that said, “Pardon the crying – it’s a sign that I’m KRAZEE.”
I am the same way — through the year of miscarrying, into the bedrest pregnancy and NICU experience, and still 18 months later with a healthy boy. I cry at the drop of a hat. And I wouldn’t let myself watch that House episode because I cried during the commercials for it!
I have decided that I’m just insane and most of the people I’m around know it and make fun of me accordingly.
You sound a bit like my mum, she cries ALWAY, ads, hymns, anything.
The journey and arrival to motherhood has made me a bit more of a crier, but not to the level of my mother… yet.
I used to have a good bawling, pity party session every time I found out a friend was pregnant and I still wasn’t.
Had a good cry the first time I went back to the hospital to visit a friend who’d had a baby after losing “Newbie”.
The worst is tv and movies, can’t watch stuff where kids are effected… the last star wars movie… bawled all the way home. I am Sam, just back a tissue truck up.
Zoot, I also cry at the drop of a hat, and sometimes it doesn’t even take that much. And I’ve never even been pregnant. I cry happy tears much, much more often than sad tears, but when the sad tears get going? I have ZERO control over stopping. I’ve sobbed in front of just about every boss I’ve ever had, at the MOST inopportune times.
If you figure out a way to knock it off, I would SO be interested in hearing about it!
I *love* that Kleenex commercial with the couches on the street, where the lady with the short black hair is crying and she says, “Crying doesn’t compromise my strength–it never has.”
Here’s the bad news – there is nothin’ you can do about it. Here’s the good news – you are a good person, an emotional, warm person who feels things deeply. Just wipe off those tears and move on. It’s OK to be so emotional. It’s really OK.
Welcome to my life. Remember the old Purina dog chow commercials (oh heck, you’re young… you probably don’t). Anyhow, I used to cry at them. The girls on my dorm floor gave me an award for my tendency to cry over anything and everything.
Embrace it. It’s so much better than keeping things bottled up.
Don’t stop crying! You are a diamond in the rough! In a world that can be so filled with hate and people that don’t care about others, it is good to know that their are still people like you out there. I think your compassion and ability to empathize with others is one of your greatest qualities!
I do it, too, though luckily not in public very much. I wish I were less sensitive, and I was one time … when I was on antidepressants. Back then, I was actually depressed, so the tears were not good. But, now that I’m off of them, I can’t stop the tears — even the good ones. I wouldn’t take the pills again just to keep my normal tears from falling, however. It’s just how I’m wired. Glad to know I’m not the only one with overzealous waterworks.
i’m such a crier! I cried last night watching gilmore girls (don’t make fun!). if you find the cure, let me know!
sniffle
sniffle
If you find a medication please let me know. I cried at The Princess’s track banquet last night when the coach mentioned how well they did at 1 meet. They didn’t win, there was no underdog story, The Princess didn’t run remarkably fast, the coach just said “we did well at meet X” and I got all misty eyed. WTF?
Ummmm… I know where you’re coming from… that commercial where one person, sees another person helping someone and then that person helps someone, and so on and so forth… cry everytime… last night… a very emotional Gilmore Girls, tears… and don’t even get me started on that Extreme Home Makerover….
I got tears in my eyes reading this…some of us just wear our heart on our sleeve.
ditto everything Alex said! i’ve never been pregnant (and quite honestly never wanted children until recently-at 37) but i am the most emotional person i know. if i see someone playing with their kid i cry happy tears. if i start recalling memories of my nephew’s younger years, i start crying (and he makes fun of me), if i have to get onto my niece, i cry more than she does!
i cry for tv characters and nearly every sappy rom/com brings tears to my eyes.
if there is a medication, please let me know what it is! thanks! =)
After TTC for 4 years and finally having my son I found I was the same way. Still am, even after having a second child. And I tear up at the stupidest stuff – I remember the first time I took my son to a parade when he was almost a year old (St. Patrick’s day parade, actually) and I stood there holding him and bawling because it was his FIRST parade. That’s when I decided to just give in and become the type of person known as a “crier”.
You definitely are not alone (obviously, look at these comments). I thought I was the most emotional person on earth. My husband thinks something is wrong with me because I cry so much, but it’s nice to know that’s not the case. And I’ve always been this way, even as a child. I remember there was a commercial with a little girl writing a letter to God and singing in a sweet, high-pitched voice. My parents had to make me leave the room whenever it came on, because I would be reduced to a puddle of tears at the sweetness of it all. To this day, children singing makes me misty eyed.
I was never a cryer and then all of a sudden I was sobbing at everything. EVERYTHING. I got kind of scared because I just couldn’t contol my emotions, and that’ so not me. So I told my PCP, who recommended a shrink, who put me on antidepressants. Voila…no more constant sobbing. Works for me!
I believe it’s called hormeones, and some of us have larger doses of the stuff that makes the water works turn on. For me it started with the pregnancy of my first DD, I figured it would go away after she was born, but it didn’t. When preggers the 2nd time the tears got turned up a notch, and again didn’t really go away. I also noticed that my tendency to worry and imagine worst case disaster has exploded since my DD’s were born. I like to say I used to be fun! Hey, I’m the chick who backpacked through Europe ALONE!; who rafted a level 5 river in the Swiss Alps and then parasailed (jumped off a mountain with a parachue) the next day.
The moderator at my old mom’s group said it’s normal; “it’s hormones and it’s nature’s way of making sure you take care of your baby.” Makes sense I guess. But drives us all nuts in the meantime.
I agree, Stephanie, Extreme Home Makeover….I can’t even watch that show!! I cry from beginning to end!
Zoot, what does the doctor say about your hormones?
That gotta be what’s doing it.
That sounds just like me! I used to never, ever cry (hardly even as a baby, my mom says), but then I went through this crazy awful depression/anxiety/panic attack period for a while a few years ago and now I cry or get misty-eyed over the lamest things… both happy and sad.
I would think that unless you are sad/low/depressed to the point it is interferring with your life on a day-to-day basis this just means you are a sensitive person. Not everybody is capable of showing their emotions and/or being a tender-hearted person. Again, unless it’s to the point that your life is being affected in a negative way, I think you’ll just have to accept that is how you are supposed to be. I think parenting can do that to you in general, especially for moms, ’cause I’ve caught myself doing the same darn thing.
I am a very emotional person and actually had trouble crying for a long time at the littlest things. On a medical note though, I actually had low serotonine levels in my brain and was put on Zoloft (not just for depression!) to sort of balance it out and also changed birth control pills for homone balance. There is nothing wrong with being emotional but sometimes there is a medical something behind it! Food for thought!
I am so glad I’m not the only one. My entire family makes fun of me because I’m always tearing up. Now I can tell them I’m not the only one, there are others like me.
I never used to be a crier. I do now. I want to cry when I see mom and daughter (grown up) at the mall and know I will never have that. I want to cry at mother’s day because mine is in heaven. I want to cry because my princess has no grandparents. I know all of this is out of my control. I learned in business school and corporate america that crying is a sign of weakness.
I used to cry every morning on my way to work after my mom died. Because i have a long interstate drive and it was my time, just me, my tissues and sad songs. I have triggers, but I try to keep tight control on my emotions.
I think pregnancy crying is ok though. I try not to cry though. It feels kinda ackward.
Pass the tissues, I like Kleenx with lotion. But the lotion hurts my eyes. Allergies are a great copy out.
I cried during gilmore girls too.
I cry at happy things, at sad things. I can’t seem to help it. Sad commercials get me, too. Othertimes I will feel weepy for no apparent reason, nothing is wrong, yet everything seems wrong, if you know what I mean?
Jennifer
Oh, thank God, it’s not just me.
Although I’m not pregnant, have never been pregnant, & now that I think about it, have no excuse at all. I used to never cry, but I’ve turned into a bundle of weepiness over the past year or so. Did you watch the Idol Gives Back episode? Lord. I was seriously dehydrated after that, I cried so much. Can you imagine what I’ll be like when (if) I get pregnant? *shudder* There aren’t enough Kleenex in the world.
I’ve always cried, my whole life, all through school whenever a teacher was slightly mean to me or whatever. Tears would start streaming down my face, or worse, I’d try and hold it back and start hyperventilating. The worst part was at university in second year, wheN I had this absolutely awful violin teacher. He told me, just before my final exam, that my playing was bad and that how was I going to pass? I tried not to, but I started crying, and then I started hyperventilating, and he started screaming at me to shut up and he wasn’t going to give me any sympathy and I had better shut up and play my violin right that second…so I told him to f off and I wasn’t playing my violin and he could go to hell. Ha.
I kinda just wanted to share that. Basically, I know what its like to cry at inopportune moments.
I’m pretty sure the shirt could just say, “Excuse the crying. My husband knocked me up; it’s all his fault.” That sounds like you have a whole host of other problems as knocked up sounds like you didn’t WANT to be pregnant and geeeez I just can’t say anything intelligent today no matter how hard I try. Sorry ’bout that.
I was just thinking that I’m abnormal b/c we are currently obsessed with Laura Ingalls (ok maybe just me), and I cried today reading part of her biography. I started to read part of her writings out loud to the kids, and got all choked up. My oldest knows that tone in my voice when I’m about to cry and she always turns to look at me with an expression that borders on disgust and incredulity.
I do the SAME thing. I burst into tears over everything. Once a man let me in front of him in the line at the grocery store, and it was a terrible day. I burst into tears and thanked him three times for being so kind and generous.
He just looked at me like I was some kind of psycho and took three steps back.
Not that I blame him.
I was actually called an ice queen (that was one of the nicer monikers) by men in my younger days. I was tough, cool, detached, able to handle anything – never let them see you sweat or cry.
Then I found my one true love (after a bad marriage) and got pregnant a couple of time (lost them) and started my adoption. I’m not sure which of those things or in what combination caused it but I am the sappiest, weepiest chick ever now.