• LilZ’s Photo of the Day
  He’s been on flickr less than a week and his pic was already chose as photo of the day on a Jr. Photographer flickr group
  (tags: lilz photography flickr)

LilZ has had an earache for about a week. After trying homepathic drops (from Target!) for a few days, it wasn’t getting any better. I decided I’d take him to the doctor, even though I’m totally hating on doctors right now. They always have bad news! Bastards!

Anyway - turns out he has a “pretty bad ear infection” and was offered a shot or medicine to take for several days. LilZ opted for the same thing any sane kid would opt for: medicine. Why do they even offer the shot? What kid says, “Yes, please. I’d rather have the shot.” LilZ hates doctors worse than I do, there’s no way he’s opting for needles over liquid medicine that can be flavored any flavor you’d like. (Strawberry!)

He also offered pain medicine in pill or drop form. Since LilZ is still not a big fan of the pill-swallowing, we opted for the drops. LilZ’s ear hurts, but it’s not killing him or anything, so hopefully the drops will suffice. If not - I’m a big fan of the Beat The Kid Over The Head With A Pan So They’ll Stop Thinking About Their Other Pain Method of pain relief.

LilZ: WHAT???!!!
Me: That will teach you to read over my shoulder
LilZ: So, you’re not really going to hit me on the head with a pan?
Me: Not unless you read over my shoulder again.

You know? I’m a damn genius for having LilZ scan photos for me for money. I’ve always worried about my house burning down (seriously - it is a fear that has followed me from childhood) and losing all of the photos of LilZ’s childhood. But now - not only will we have digital backup on the computer and external hard drive that I can grab at a moment’s notice - but we’ll also have backup on flickr.

However, it has also been incredibly KRAZEE to look at all of these old photos again. I mean - I look like such a baby. I was such a baby! I was 18 when I got pregnant with him, so I must be 19 or 20 in this picture. It was over 10 years ago - that’s for sure. There are so many things I want to tell that girl. You know, important stuff to help her keep from making the huge mistakes that are looming in front of her. Like - Do NOT dye your hair black! It will fry it and you’ll have to chop it all off and you’ll cry over your short hair for at least two years.

I would also probably tell her not to wear those fishnets to college that one sunny day. She ends up sitting outside, smoking cigarettes and talking to friends for over an hour and ends up with a sunburn pattern under the fishnet hose. She had to wear pants for several days until it faded, making it a VERY uncomfortable week in the dead of summer.

Maybe I’d also try to keep her from going through the polyester-pants-from-goodwill phase. Those were definitely dark times for everyone involved.

Today wasn’t that great of a day. And by “wasn’t that great” I really mean “was kinda shitty.” Getting back to “real” life alway sucks after a loss because your head is still focused on the tragedy, but the rest of the world moves on. I wanted to yell at the people at the store during lunch, “I miscarried on Monday. In my own bathroom. Stop talking about the stupid drought and give me a hug!” I did fine yesterday - alone in my home - but for some reason today I felt really sad. Like suddenly I realized everyone had moved on and maybe I hadn’t cried enough yet. Maybe I wanted to grieve some more. I suddenly wanted to stop everything and just cry. I think I focused so much Monday and Tuesday on being strong for my kids and my family - that I forgot to mourn. I lost a baby, dammit. I’m not ready to move on yet. I’m not done crying.

But that’s life. It just moves too fast. My kids are growing too fast. My skin is wrinkling too fast. I just want it all to SLOW DOWN. Bah.

Of course, all of that said? I wouldn’t complain one bit if the renovations in my kitchen moved a little faster. I’m kinda sick of eating dinner from a crockpot every night.

• Flickr: Photos from lil zoot
  How totally awesome is it that LilZ is now (oops) a flickr user
  (tags: flickr lilz)
• Diet Coke 25th Anniversary
  Nobody but ME is allowed to enter this, okay? (Thanks Iris)
  (tags: Dietcoke contest)