I haven’t actually done my final BlogHer Recap post because I’m still trying to find time to sit down and write something about all of the wonderful women I met and how I truly hope they won’t hold my crappy attitude against me because I was suffering from my post-miscarriage period which NEVER WANTED TO END. Like having a miscarriage (or four…) isn’t bad enough, right?
There have been several other BlogHers writing about their experience with the cliques and comparing it to High School and the exclusivity in some groups and the feelings of being left out and yada..yada..yada. I don’t mean to undermine these feelings, but I don’t even care to link to those sites because I’m just bored with it all. And I don’t get bored easily.
First, let me go on record saying this: I felt excluded. There were a couple of moments where I didn’t feel like I belonged or that I was most definitely NOT wanted in a group. But there are two reasons that this could be:
1) I was self-projecting my insecurities and was dreaming the feeling of not-belonging simply because I have no self-confidence.
2) They honestly didn’t want me there because I didn’t belong.
Well, you know what? That’s life. It’s not BlogHer. It’s not Bloggers. It’s not women. It’s not particular women. It happens in any group anywhere. I’ve felt isolated at the most loving of gatherings and I’ve felt welcomed at the most unusual places. Sometimes people want you to be part of their group and sometimes they don’t. That’s just life. Yeah – I’ll bitch about it because I want everyone to want me to be part of their group. But – I’m not going to let it cast a negative light on a group as amazing as BlogHer.
And you know what? Even the women who I feel didn’t necessarily want me in their circle — even they are still amazing women to me. I don’t look down on them for pushing me aside. I may be sad – but you know what? Sometimes there are people I shun too. Not necessarily because I don’t like them, but because I feel safer with my own familiar group. It just happens. Anyone who says they embrace and welcome anyone who comes to them is a better person than I am.
So, yeah. I didn’t feel 100% welcome in every group. However – I was depressed and cramping so I probably wasn’t 100% welcoming to everyone either. I wish it were different; but overall I think a gathering that size consisting of so many amazing women should NOT be scorned because sometimes not everyone feels welcome. I left the event inspired like I always do.
Hell – I was totally freaked out because no one was drinking beer at any gathering but me. I felt really insecure about that and you know what happened? Y from JoyUnexpected offered to drink a beer with me.
You just can’t beat that. Life is not group hugs all the time. I feel like as long as I have one person willing to drink a beer with me? I just can’t complain.