Things that dropped my jaw this week…
- I sat at an intersection where a school bus stopped to open it’s doors at a railroad crossing. Like they are legally required to do. Do you know what the guy driving the van behind the bus did? Honked. He honked his horn at the school bus who was doing what the back of the bus says it will do in BIG BLACK LETTERS. Jackhole.
- My son crawled out of bed and grabbed his cell phone and started texting someone at 6:50am. Kids these days and their texting. He can’t even speak until he’s had his shower, but he can text.
- I sat at the bagel place in my parking space and waited for the drive-thru line to move because it was long enough that it was actually snaking behind my car, blocking me in. I’ve seen this happen before and know to park elsewhere if I’m in a hurry, so I didn’t freak out. I just waited. And each time the line moved, the people moved forward, continuing to keep me blocked in. My bright white reverse lights were on about 2 feet from their car yet none of them left a space for me to back out. Three cars pulled through and continued blocking me. I’m not sure which would me me feel better, that they were completely oblivious to me sitting there, or that they were assholes and doing it intentionally.
- I was behind someone in line at target who was buying 28 jars of mayonnaise. I counted. And that was all they were buying. Do you know how hard it was to resist the urge to ask what they were going to do with all of that mayonnaise? IT KILLED ME.
- MrZ told NikkiZ tonight that he loved her. Do you know what she said back to him? “I yuv you too, daddy.” WTF? When did she start speaking in complete sentences with properly punctuated pauses? And why didn’t she say that to ME first?
- The two girls who are staying with me this week both admitted to not liking raw, sliced tomatoes with their meals. I thought everyone born in the south ate sliced raw tomatoes. Seriously. I thought it was part of the genetic makeup of a Southerner. That and a love for pinto beans and corn bread. They must secretly be Yankees. I need to talk to Stace about that. Her girls need to be reprogrammed.
I must secretly be a southerner – I love sliced tomatoes. What’s wrong with those girls? Sheesh….kids these days.
I am a southerner and hate raw sliced tomoatoes. Hate!!
Yankees LOVE sliced raw tomatoes!!!
I also HATE tomatoes with a passion. But I love all tomato products like ketchup, pasta sauce, tomato soup etc.
No raw tomatoes? I am convinved that I am a true southerner at heart – even though I have lived my whole life in Ohio.
Raw tomatoes, sweet tea (REAL sweet tea), grits, beans and cornbread, greens. . . .
Some day I will actually live in the south and then my life will be complete!
Mm. A good FRESH tomato sliced with a dashing of salt! Yummy.
And I cant beleieve you didnt ask that person about the mayo! In the South, we can totally get away with asking someone something like that. Now I am very curious.
Sliced raw tomatoes is a southern thing? I never knew! Must be why I like them then, I did live in the south for 9 years.
Fresh sliced tomatoes with salt, of course.
My husband is a school bus driver in Maryland (I won’t name the county). He says to tell you that every.single.day someone runs his red lights. I just don’t get that. The bus is 40 feet long, bright yellow, with flashing red lights and an arm that swings out with a Stop sign on it. How can people do that?! There are a lot of idiots out there.
“I yuv you too, daddy.” OMG – my heart just melted. How cute is that!
My husband laughs at me because I will only eat raw sliced tomatoes in the summer when they are really fresh – i.e. from the Farmer’s Market, a truck stand, a neighbor’s garden, etc. I cannot get enough of them when they are in season.
I am not only a Southerner, but I am a fourth generation Memphian. I have deep roots.
But I hate tomatoes! I think they are the devil’s fruit. I like ketchup and tomato sauce, but that’s where I draw the line.
And I can’t even begin to imagine why someone needs 28 jars of mayo. That’s just plain weird!
I am a southerner that also does not like raw tomatoes. HOWEVER, I serve them to my family regularly as to not cause my grandmother to spin in her grave.
Fuzzy did the same thing about a week or so ago.. “Daddy, I want juice please” We decided she’s a freakin’ genius. But does she say it to the one that talks at her all the time? No, the quiet one gets her words. (I did get the first “I fluff you” so I’m still winning)
On to the ‘Maters – clearly they weren’t properly raised, ’cause thats a sign of bad up-bringin’ right dher.
I wish you had asked about the mayo. It is killing me too.
I’m with Carissablog. Tomatoes look like they come from an alien planet on the inside. Reminds me of horror movies.
Love me some ketchup and tomato sauce, though!
Sliced tomatoes w/ mayo & seasoning salt…mmmmmmmmmmm…
All that mayonnaise makes me think someone has a lot of lice.
Don’t you love us? How could you not ask about all that mayonnaise?
Gotta be treating a whole school full of head lice. It’s rampant here, too.
Head lice? Mayo? Do I even want to KNOW how that correlates?? And I totally would have asked. And if it was for head lice, what to the egg allergic kids do? And we have people speed around buses here too, in a hurry.
Ewww….sliced tomatoes – yucky tomatoes…my husband will eat them raw too.
I’d rather have sliced cukes!
I am a yankee and I LOVE raw slived tomatoes, they are my favorite thing about summer!
Mayo and head lice? 28 jars, though? What, do you live near the couple who just had their 17th child? Or maybe she works at a preschool trying to hide it from the parents. (How the hell could you do that?) Or maybe she runs a state-run agency housing wards of the state.
My best guess? Some kind of mayo bath at a spa. (Having never been to a spa, I get to imagine lots of spa-ish things.)
I’m from the south (NC) and I would rather not eat raw, sliced tomatoes. My daughter, also born in NC, hates raw tomatoes. Even gets soft taco supremes from Taco Bell with NO TOMATOES. Maybe we’re just weird.
I know that I’m not from the south. Nope. I love tomatos but I don’t slice them. I just wash ‘em and eat. (Northern CA)
Oh, but I’ll add that my son (before I blocked his texting all together) would text before talking too.
My husband was raised just west of Hunstville, lived in both Nashville and Atlanta…
he doesn’t like tea, watermelon, almost any kind of fruit and not any kind of tomato – except for ketchup!
K so my road rage ass would have probably just backed into the third person who didn’t let me out!
and also, i’m not from the south but I prefer my sliced tomatoes slathered with mayo mmmmmm I’m so ghetto!
Love raw tomatoes. When I was little we ate them like apples. My husband – won’t eat tomatoes. I would have said he is probably an alien, but I really like calling him a Yank better.
And yes, I have been the one in the drive thru line watching the other cars completely ignore the one backing out. Like it is so rude of them to want to back their car out – I mean how rude – while they are waiting in line. How hard is it to wait five seconds for someone to back out?
Do you think it is odd that they haven’t figured out some other way for the bus to put the stop sign out for other drivers, than opening the door? What if some kid decides to get off?? Totally weird thought.
The mayo thing would bug me too.
I once saw a guy at the drugstore buying about 10 tubes of KY jelly. What he was going to do with it is probably a bit more obvious, but I prayed there was some other, more innocent use for that creme.
Scary,
A. I heart raw tomatoes
B. My entire family (all southners) love tomatoes
C. As far as I know almost all friends like raw tomatoes (except the ones who don’t like tomatoes but there insane as it is)
I suppose they could eat Mayonnaise out of the jar like my sister when we were kids.
Ok, that memory just made me throw up a little in my mouth. Erp.
The mayo thing is puzzling. Was it Hellman’s, Dukes, or that nasty, devil-snot Miracle Whip?
The answer could be key.
I’ve heard that mayosoaked hair kills lice…maybe they are trying a chem-free solution.
I admire your restraint but I could not have done it!!
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My brother won’t eat tomatoes. Freak. Of course he now lives in Ohio, so maybe we should have seen that defection to the North coming.
RE: mayo — they were buying it to donate to a food pantry. It’s organized by day or week or month with (hopefully) regular volunteers: someone brings in thirty loaves of bread, someone else two dozen jars of peanut butter, another brings in the thirty rolls of toilet paper etc etc.
My Dad used to ask if we wanted a slice of tomato and when we said no he put a slice on our plate anyways…lol! That’s how you get reprogrammed in the south.
forgot to add that I drove my my parents today and brought fresh tomatoes from my Dad’s garden back with me. Yumm!
things that have dropped my jaw this week?
you not posting for more than 3 days.
also, i was wondering if there was an alternative way for me to send a donation to your jail-thing. i’ve been having a lot of problems with internet transations and my checking account…not that i don’t trust you, or your organization…it’s totally my bank’s fault. but i don’t know when it will be resolved, and i don’t want to miss the opportunity to donate.
so, i know it’s weird to give out home addresses and such…but would it be possible for me to send a check or money order to a p.o.box or something? or maybe directly to the organization, but have it be specifically in your name?
if you have time, please let me know. i’ve really been wanting to help, and i’d hate to miss the chance.
where are you?? should i be alarmed?!
Freaky people behind the wheel drive me nuts. It is amazing how the world should bend because they are “late.” These clowns are always late or “in a hurry” for something.
Near my office, the police sit near an intersection where the right (straight) lane often gets a bit bottled up, and the left lane (left turn only) is empty. On the days they sit there, if you watch for no longer than 10 minutes you will see 3 to 5 cars get pulled over for going into the left lane and then cutting back to the right (across the solid white lines). Inevitably, one of these jack-offs will complain, “I’m in a hurry” as if everybody else that is there WANTS to be stuck in traffic.