The most important thing that I, the 32-year-old You, want to say is this: Ms. De will be the worst teacher you will ever have. It only goes up from here. I promise. She is not nice to you (and is super nice to all the other girls, WTF?) but you will have a long list of teachers you love from here on out. And they’ll love you. Some of them will touch you in ways you’ll never forget. Wait. That sounded bad. They don’t actually touch you. I’m freaking you out now, aren’t I?
Anyway – I know she makes you cry at night, but don’t let her. Don’t give her that power. She doesn’t deserve it. Screw her.
Another thing: All of those research papers you’re assigned to write this year that are giving you your first taste of anxiety attacks? They aren’t that important. Trust me. Let your Dad help you, don’t resist him so much. He’s smart, you know. If you would just drop the attitude you might learn from him. And quit with the procrastinating already. They are stressing you out because you’re waiting until the last minute, dumbass. Stop that shit.
Don’t wear the purple eye shadow. That stupid teacher will call you out about it in front of the whole class and you’ll be embarrassed and stand in the bathroom washing your face crying. I would love to tell you, “Tell her to suck it!” but I know you won’t. So instead – just don’t wear it. Avoid the embarrassment. That way the adult you can quit having damn nightmares about it already.
You know that weird attraction you have to skater boys? Especially Ryan – who will eventually be your first real boyfriend? Keep with that theme in your life. It’s a good theme. Skater boys are cute. You end up marrying a really hot skater boy.
Embrace the curls. You can’t fight them. Learn to love them.
Stop crying. You cry a lot at night. You feel lonely. But, the things is, you’re really not lonely. You’re just hormonal and feeling a little out of place right now. Talk to your Dad more about it – he ends up giving you some really good advice later in life, once you finally start asking him advice.
Most importantly – it only goes up from here. You will make a lot of mistakes, but even at your darkest moments, you will never feel as sad as you do right now. Let that give you peace. Once you embrace your differences, you’ll feel much better. Quit trying to fit in, and just be you. You aren’t going to be as pretty as Caroline, as loved as Mollie, or as funny as Dana or as smart as Teal. But that’s okay. You don’t need to look at them all and feel sad. Instead, be happy that you aren’t exactly like them. Be happy about who you are.
Maybe, if you start learning these things now, the 32-year-old-You will be able to finally stop being so insecure too.
(Thanks to Amy and Amy for the idea.)