MrZ says, “Roll Tide!”

I believe I’ve mentioned a few times that my husband and I like college football. I am a Tennessee Vols fan since I was born and raised in Volunteer Country. MrZ, on the other hand, is a Crimson Tide fan. Because he has a low IQ.

My husband is much more rabid of a “fan” than I am. He subscribes to webpages and forums that we actually have to pay for him to be a part of. His Saturdays revolve around Alabama football. Depending on the game, the cursing and screaming can be at a dangerous level. He becomes irrational and sometimes even mean. I’ll only watch a game with him if I’m at least 95% sure Alabama will win. And the last few years? That hasn’t been often.

This past weekend was the Iron Bowl. The Alabama/Auburn game. A game I had no desire to watch because I didn’t think it was going to go well and I did not want to be present while MrZ was watching it. We went out to see Christmas lights for awhile and then I went to bed early. I didn’t even know the outcome until the next morning.

MrZ just sent me some quotes from the message boards he reads and said, “I thought you could identify w/ a few quotes from a bamaonline thread today…”

Here are some I identified with the most:

My wife is really pissed at me, as you can probably imagine. I might have to stop watching games live. My wife says she’s not going to watch anymore games with me. In the past, I’ve yelled like crazy and had a “cursing fit” at the house. Thankfully we don’t have kids. I just get so worked up.

I like the “Thankfully we don’t have kids” part. I don’t know this guy, but if MrZ is any indication, it won’t change even after they have kids. And at least his wife has already stopped watching. It will spare her a lot of stress after they do have kids.

For years I would watch and actually took pride in how emotional I would get during our games. I thought it was a badge of honor to get so worked up, win or lose. It wasn’t until friends started telling me that I scared them when the game was on that I started thinking perhaps it was a problem.

MrZ doesn’t scare me, so to speak, but I do fear he’ll scare others. We have a lot of walkers in our neighborhood and I worry if they walk by our house at the wrong time police may be called. His voice can travel an entire block, depending on what he’s yelling.

I am honestly considering becoming a bit more detached as a fan. I am ENTIRELY too consumed by Alabama football. My wife, too, was pissed at me the other night. It finally got to the point to where she basically just told me that I needed help. She was forced to say “There is more to life than Alabama football” because I made the comment that my entire Holiday season was completely ruined.

MrZ hasn’t said exactly that, but he’s made statements just as extreme and completely illogical. He has a hard time understanding why his parents are suddenly Auburn fans. Even though they pay tuition for his sister to go there, the way he looks at it, he’s been a Crimson Tide fan longer so they should root for his team. Because, you know, his lifelong dedication to a school he never attended should totally come before their money spent on tuition currently.

I like to call this…Football Induced Multiple Personality Disorder. MrZ would never use words like “F____in’ Douchebags” unless football was on. It definitely brings out the verbally creative side of him. To say the least.

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17 Responses

  1. mdv says:

    Is it terrible that I am finding this extremely funny. I’m sorry, but it is funny. More so because he sent you these quotes.

  2. Stacey says:

    aww the football craziness. I hear ya. I was actually concerned about seeing a friend after LSU lost. He was actually quite calm and said he has realized that life does indeed continue and his whole weekend was not ruined. May have helped that the Saints won. ;)

  3. Sarah says:

    My husband and I are both a bit.. fanatical about Alabama football. I knew we both got a bit routy, but I realized we may have a problem when I met our new neighbors on a Sunday morning and they asked, “So, not such a fan of John Parker Wilson, huh?” Our neighbors. IN ANOTHER HOUSE.

  4. Cheryl says:

    Well, on funny note, even the dogs don’t like Auburn! (Check out youtube) But, it didn’t matter anyway. Mississippi State already won the Alabama State Championship.

    Sorry for the bragging, it’s the first time it’s ever happened.

    I will be cheering for the Vols in Atlanta, though!

  5. Sunshine says:

    My hubby is psychotic about Notre Dame. As you can imagine, after this season, we’re thinking of putting him on suicide watch.

  6. Ree says:

    Kinda how I feel about Michigan State and Marshall, eh?

    But my love for my alma maters is overshadowed by my intense hatred for the West Virginia Mountainqueers. And they’re now #2. The verbal abuse of my television will continue until the Championship game unless Pitt pulls out a miracle and beats the crap outta them.

  7. alli says:

    My husband (aka Auburn Elvis) resembles those remarks. He gets very worked up about Auburn and I was biting my nails for days before the game because I was worried about how he would take it if Auburn lost.

    AND I was in a house with four Auburn fans this weekend, so it was even more tense.

  8. robyn says:

    that’s exactly how my house is, except it’s for the Huskers. all of nebraska is that way, in fact, so people don’t question my boyfriend’s allegiance when he gets like that. everyone is like that. i’ve seen grown men cry after throwing a beer ACROSS a bar because of a missed play, and the bartenders just go on as if nothing has happened.

  9. The Muse says:

    I went to UGA. My boyfriend went to GaTech and grew up an hour outside UT country. His dad went there. His granddad went there.

    There are times that I actually prefer to cheer for his teams (even if they’re playing mine), simply because it makes everything go more smoothly.

    Also, he won’t even step foot in the college town of my alma mater.

    He says he’s “keeping it real.”

    Whatever.

  10. Jess says:

    All I have to say is “GO HOKIES!!!”

    And my husband would back up the WV Mountainqueers and add in UVGay (Univ. of Virginia).

  11. DamPaw says:

    I don’t believe I was ever able to get MrZ to sit down long enough to watch a complete football game with me but I have always been a Bama fan (but not a fanatic) especially when the Bear was alive. Ever since daughter started at Auburn I thought I would check out Auburn football and some of the early games this year were pretty scary but I’ve enjoyed most of them. Now Mimi, on the other hand, dislikes anything Bama. That stems from our college days and a particular fraternity party where one of our friends was pummeled by a Bama football player for no apparent reason. Anyway, 30+ years later, she still hasn’t forgotten. (Don’t ever cross Mimi!) We are not anti-MrZ though but you can come over on game days if you need to get away.

  12. Heather says:

    I called someone a douchebag yesterday. That basically never happens! And there weren’t even sports involved.

  13. Jenny H. says:

    In our house it is totally reversed.

    I AM the college football fan. It’s pretty sad. I ADORE FOOTBALL. I have taught my two children my school’s fight song, a touchdown dance, and we are working on a sack dance. They love football, too!

    There may be some cursing involved. Mostly under my breath. Mostly.

  14. amy says:

    ROLLLLL TIDE!!! Keep it up Mr. Z.

  15. Catherine says:

    First, it’s important to note that I live in CO – have my whole life.

    I was wearing my Auburn sweatshirt at work a few weeks back (BIL is a physics PhD candidate there!) and someone said “roll tide” and I replied that’s Bama. They were like, whatever – it’s all Alabama. Uhm, even I know better than that.

    We have the Colorado Showdown here, CU vs CSU. I went to both so it’s hard to choose. There’s also the Border Blowout or something, CSU vs Wyo. The winner gets to keep the bronze boot.

    Football fanatics are a funny bunch. With all that football fervor in AL, why isn’t there a pro team?

  16. DBN says:

    Football Induced Multiple Personality Disorder…FIMPD… awesome term! My brother, my father, and my husband all have severe cases, with my brothers being the worst. Mr. D follows in a close second. My father says he is just old enough to be truly concerned that he will have a stroke, so he actually avoids games sometimes. A sad southern state of affairs. I mean, we pull for the Gamecocks. We often lose!
    As a side note though, I went to the Carolina-UT game this year and actually fell a little in love with UT. The fans were SO nice, and we had such a great time!

  17. canape says:

    My brother is the same way about Mississippi State football. It is frightening to watch a game with him.

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