I am really sorry that I subscribe to all of the tabloid sites that the last few days have been plastering bikini pictures of you all over their pages and saying things like, “What happened to her body?” (Example pictures here for those of you with better internet reading material than I have.) I would like to say a few things:

1) I would kill for your body.
2) My husband would kill for me to have your body. He totally did NOT get it yesterday when I showed him those links. He said, “She’s hot! What the hell is wrong with them? These pictures don’t even look bad! She’s hot!” I thought he was going to cry.
3) I would kill for your body.

I just wanted to say that even though these dumb tabloids are blasting you because you may have one or two dimples, I think you are stunning and I would kill to look that good in a bikini. Have I said that enough already? I think you’ve got my dream body. Not that I truly think you care what the tabloids say, but I just wanted to go on record saying I think you’re HOTT. And those people are dorks and their moms dress them funny. Amen.

Project Runway

First: I totally knew who Tiki Barber was when I saw him. Partly because I watch the NFL relatively regularly, and partly because I fell in love with he and his brother when they used to do the credit card commercials. He is one pretty man. YUM.

I really thought that overall, the results were WAAAY better than I predicted. As a group - they did well. Individually? Definitely some crap out there. However, I was really disappointed that (1) Carmen got booted (I thought Sweat P was worse) and (2) Christian or Kevin’s or Kit’s didn’t win. They were my three faves. I thought Jack’s was okay, but it wasn’t even the top three in my mind.

America’s Next Top Model

I’m very sad to see Heather go. I knew she wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) win, but I really liked her being on the show. She seemed more real than the other girls. But - she is really only good on film. She doesn’t seem to translate well in person. I hope she finds success in her life though, she seems sweet. At this point, I think I’m rooting for Bianca. She seems the most down to earth and damn determined to win of the bunch. What do you think?

Law & Order: SVU

Man. That was a tough ending to watch, wasn’t it? If it had ended sad, I might have thrown something at my television. It was pretty intense.

What did you watch? Anything good?

Canape asked me in this entry to introduce my pets. And since there are two days left in November, I figure now is the time to do it. However, since I’m trying to reach 100 entries by the end of the month, I’m splitting it up into two entries. (So close I can taste it.)

This is Bambi. I was not a cat person and was mildly allergic but I rescued Bambi for LilZ right after his Dad and I split. Partly because I wanted some company when LilZ was at his Dad’s, and partly because I had a hard time saying “No” to LilZ. (Still Do.) We went to the shelter and he picked out the cat. He also was in charge of naming him, but since he was four, his first name was “Butterfly Poo Poo Pie.” That only lasted a few days and then he changed it to “Jake.” After a few weeks he changed it to “Bambi” and it has been Bambi every since.

Bambi loves to give the head butts, but would rather not be held. Bambi is really awesome and loves people and sometimes talks to you in weird Meows that sound like drunken english. Or maybe it’s because I was drunk. Either way, he’s awesome. And he was my first pet I could call all mine. When he gets a chance, he really likes to sleep on my head. He will also come when I call him. He loves me.

This is Sunflower. We adopted her in the same way as Bambi, letting LilZ choose the cat and the name. I was dating MrZ at that point, so Sunflower has always been around MrZ’s dogs and tends not to realize they are not cats. Or that she’s not a dog. She loves to be held and will hop into the laps of any stranger. Especially my father-in-law’s, who happens to be allergic. She seems to prefer those allergic to cats.

She will snuggle with the dogs and in weird places (as you can see here) that are either (a) warm or (b) hidden. She will sometimes hide in the laundry room only to scare the shit out of me when I reach to the pile of clothes she’s sleeping on. She hates her tail which means MrZ will taunt her with it endlessly. It’s quite funny and she never seems to catch on. She’s short but has a big belly so we sometimes call her Peanut Head. She’s the cat Most Likely To Think She’s a Dog.

MrZ and I have definitely become Cat People over the years. I’m sure there are cats not as awesome as ours, but we are quite fond of Bambi and Sunflower. Except for when they drink the milk out of cereal when we get up to get a glass of water at breakfast. We’d prefer they quit doing that.

We are taking NikkiZ to the circus tonight. MrZ’s mom gave us tickets to see the circus in town and we are all very excited. NikkiZ watches these Baby Genius DVDs that have animals and music and she loves it. So, I’m pretty sure the Elephants will be something she loves and is not afraid of. And something she might fall in love with.

The clowns, on the other hand, I worry will scare the shit out of her.

We’ve been telling her about the animals that will be at the circus, but when we mention the clowns she gets a bit of a blank look. I don’t think she knows what a clown is. We don’t watch movies or TV shows with clowns, none of our books have clowns, it’s just not something that has come up before. But - I think meeting them face to face - may be the worst possible way to introduce her.

I know people who hate clowns, and are honestly scared of them. And I’m terrified it’s because they’re parents took them to the circus when they were two and didn’t explain what clowns were before hand. NikkiZ’s a little shy as it is - but put a crazy wig and makeup on someone, and I really don’t see her warming up.

What do you think? Think she’ll love them? Hate them? Need therapy for life because this experiences with no prep from her parents will give her nightmares for the next fourteen years?

I took NikkiZ to Hobby Lobby last night. Or, as she calls it, “Obby Obby.” It is in our Super Target shopping center which is across the street from a huge pasture full of lots of cows. She always points out the “Target Cows” when we drive by, and gets stressed if they’re not out. I always tell her they’re probably sleeping if she can’t see them. Last night, it was dark, so she immediately said. “Target Cows are Sleeping.” It’s like she must comment on the cows no matter what. It’s something she has no control over. And I love it.

The other thing is, if you ask her a question she doesn’t understand, or doesn’t know the answer to, she’ll say, “Scooby Doo!” I think it’s from weeks of people asking her what she was going to be for Halloween. She didn’t really understand it then, so now it’s her “Go To” answer for any question. She figures it’s a safe bet since that was the answer to the questions she didn’t understand two months ago. And now, she knows we think it’s funny, so she does it with that evil grin on her face.

“What do you want for dinner?”
“Scooby Doo!”

“Where are your shoes?”
“Scooby Doo!”

“Did you Poop?”
“Scooby Doo!”

I love these little things she does. The cows, the Scooby, and it just is enough cuteness to help me cope with the evilness that comes with the age 2. Because for every adorable, “Scooby Doo!” there are 12 not-so-adorable NO(!)s to go in the mix.