I went to Target for printer paper today (aside: Why are there so many choices of paper? Is that necessary?) and I checked out in the express line since I only had one item. The woman in front of me was checking out and the cashier said to her, “Oh! That’s a cute purse.” I glanced and saw what was essentially the purse you see here. A small, plaid, Dooney & Bourke purse. Now, I know NOTHING about purses, but I knew that one was one of those labels/brands that people are proud to carry and tend to cost more than the purses I buy at the outdoor store. It’s not a fascination I get, but a lot of people don’t understand why I need two TiVos and a DVR, so I definitely don’t judge. We all have those things we spend money on. For some women, it’s handbags.
The cashier looked again and said, “Oh! That’s a Dooney & Bourke. Those are reallllly expensive!” And she said it in a very drawn out and dramatic fashion. Like she was looking at some sort of million dollar purchase. Now, of course the woman’s face got really red and I really wanted to say something to ease her embarrassment, but I didn’t know what. Then the cashier kept going and said, “Nothing but the best for you, huh?” She wasn’t trying to be rude, but it just was obviously making that woman very uncomfortable. And she didn’t look like the flashy type, she was wearing scrubs and was obviously on her lunch break from some medical job. I felt really embarrassed for her. It was just odd.
But then? As she is obviously hurredly trying to leave and get away from the weird spotlight on her and her handbag, the cashier says, “Oh. Um. Your debit card was denied. Do you have another way to pay?”
I about died for the woman RIGHT THERE. I’m very sensitive to embarrassment by proxy and I felt my own face blushing FOR her and didn’t even look in her direction. I just wanted the situation to end for her right there.
Poor lady. I hope she has a blog she can vent on. It does wonders for one’s soul.
Oh my word. I would have DIED of embarrassment. But that was hilarious!
Oh that poor lady!! I wonder if it had been a gift? That girl does need a hug!!
It is a cute bag. I would totally find a knock off and buy that. I couldn’t spend a ton of money on a purse. Or shoes. I wish I could, but it makes me feel guilty.
Are you one of those people who can’t watch movies where the characters embarrass themselves? I have a friend who can’t sit still during a movie when someone on screen is uncomfortable. She covers her eyes … I picture this being like those situations.
You’ve heard of being “house poor”? Maybe she’s “handbag poor.” Seriously, I sooooo feel for that woman — that’s so embarrassing. And I second Reed’s above about that kind of stuff making me so uncomfortable — I can’t even watch ‘Punk’d'!
Oh no! But you know what? My debit gets denied at Target allllll the time, when there is a full account. Their machines are quirky and it never happens to me elsewhere. So I hope that’s what it was…but still, embarrassing!
Each of those embarrassing elements would be enough to make me cry for the person in front of me. I am one of those people Reed talks about- I had to leave the room when Meet The Parents was on in college, I was just that uncomfortable. I could never be a bully.
How mortifying that must have been for her, especially after the cashier kept crowing about her designer bag. I know plenty of women who aren’t rich by anyone’s standards, but they treat themselves to nice bags. Or like someone else mentioned, maybe it was a gift. My mom bought me a Prada a few years ago for Christmas, and I almost felt a little sick. I would never spend that much on a bag — but have no problem dropping $250 for a new scanner that I really don’t need.
I’ve yet to carry it. I never go anywhere fancy enough for that bag.
Oh gosh. . . I would have been so embarassed for her too! I bet she was mortified. Why are there always those cashiers who don’t realize that what they are saying is making the customer uncomfortable?
I’m glad to know I am not the only person who gets embarrassed for other people. I think often times, I’m actually more embarrassed than they are! Mostly because I know that I embarrass easily, so I sort of act under the assumption that everyone else does too.
I only have one fancy, high-priced bag, and it was a gift from my old boss (it’s not nearly as creepy as that might sound and I am 100% it was his wife who shopped for the gifts for the three of us in his office). It’s a Coach make-up bag, and, well… I treat it like a make-up bag. Meaning it is not exactly the cleanest thing ever. I’m much happier with my $30 bag from the department store.
Was she able to pay with some other form of money? I am worried that she didn’t get her stuff!
Oh boy, I bet that woman just wanted to crawl into a hole and hide!
So I guess I’m alone in thinking that bag is a hideous preppy abomination? Ew, ew, ew. But then again, most people would probably think that about my smelly old goodwill finds.
Even though we are long past our college days of food stamps and Xtreme poverty, I STILL go through that little gut-clench of anxiety every time my payment is being processed, and I still exhale with relief when the receipt starts printing out, for absolutely no real reason. Just sheer habit. The poverty mindset stays with you always, no matter what. Being denied even just once in your life is so damn traumatic.
Oh, doooood. I’m cringing for that poor woman right now.
And no, michelle, you’re not alone. Those are expensive bags, though.
See, now, I tend to be the type of person who does indulge in such frivolous things, and I am not saying this to brag or anything at all. I don’t care much.
But at my old job, there was this chick who had to comment about the cost of anything I wore/owned/drove. Same thing “Wow, I cannot believe you have a xxxx. They are SOOOO expensive!” etc. I never knew how to respond. I still don’t.
As I told Reed via email, I am VERY MUCH one of those people who hides my face when people get embarrassed on TV or movies. Those candid camera type shows TORTURE ME. They’re awful!
Ugh. That would suck. Although I would probably say something smart alecky to the cashier like “Oh I guess I spent all my money in that account on my purse. Try this card, it might not be maxed out”. I have 2 Dooney and Burke purses given to me as gifts from my parents. Neither are that expensive. Especially compared to my friend who has a $1,000.00 purse and that was the discounted price because it had a few tiny scuff marks. It is all relative.
I really can’t and shouldn’t comment on the cashier’s words to the customer about the handbag. But in defense of her with the debit thing: I have had to do it, too, and it sucks. There is just no easy or private way to say it. All our screens tell us is that we can’t accept it, and we can’t even turn the screen around to show them what it says rather than saying it out loud. I really wish it would show that information on the CARD READER screen.
I hate that feeling. We bounce money around a few different accounts, so sometimes I’ll use the wrong debit card and get denied. Even though there is plenty of money in the bank - it’s still so embarrassing.
And randomly, thank you for taking down the comment counter thing. For some reason, it forced me to try to continue commenting on every post even after my goal of commenting on every post of NoMoFoBlowhatever was over. It was like I couldn’t stop myself. I am so relieved.
Ugh…how embarrassing on both accounts. I get embarrassed for other people too.
This is one of my biggest phobias in life. Having a debit or credit card denied. I’ve seen it happen to people and I cringe everytime it happens. I’m such a freak that I always call the bank before I use any card to make sure there hasn’t been some kind of ‘technical’ glitch at the bank! Seriously deranged, I know.
My heart breaks for this woman.
Have a great weekend.
Oh, what a story! And, the bag IS cute but I am WAY to cheap to buy expensive handbags.
why does it seem so common for people dealing with the public (especially those working registers) to be so socially tactless?
i’m exactly like you - i get embarrassed vicariously very easily, too. heck, i got a little embarrassed just reading the story. (”NO she did NOT say that!”, wincing)
lol..how embarrassing..i would have probably done the same thing too!
Yikes! Poor woman. It irks me when people discuss how much things cost.
Oh, I am cringing from here. I get so embarrassed for other people. I simply cannot watch American Idol. Cannot. Or watch people in real life karaoke. I just cringe and hide.
That cashier needs some training. Mostly in how to be professional and mind her own business.
I COULD JUST HUG YOU RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I HAVE ONE TIVO AND TWO DVR’S AND EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON I KNOW MAKES FUN OF ME…SO WOW I’M NOT ALONE! THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL TOTALLY NORMAL.
That has happened to me . If Zoot were behind me she would become annoyed. I then have to stand in line and hold it up until the problem with the card is resolved. I mean I called the manager over (it was in a dept store) and pitched a fit. Of course I knew I had paid my recent bills ,but instead of being normal and just paying with a debit or another source I have to stand in line and argue about lack of service. I am AWFUL. I also love expensive purses and laugh at Punked.
Oh my gosh! Some people just don’t know how to speak correctly without coming off offensive.
I have a D&D purse which I call my ‘Dooney & Dooney’ purse-a great $15 knock off. I saved a few hundred on that thing! I love when I am in a store and someone points out my “Dooney & Bourke.” What little do they know.
I’m the same way about embarrassing situations for other people. I handle my own embarrassment WAY better than watching someone else’s!