My First Journey Into The World Of Stay-At-Home Moms

While adventuring around town this week, looking for free entertainment for my child, I discovered that our Barnes & Noble has Story time every Monday and Thursday. The kids get read a story and then they do a craft associated with the story. We decided to try it yesterday, and I was very nervous. Yes…you heard me right…I was nervous about story time. I’ve officially reached a new level with my anxiety. I’m scared of being read to, or crafts, or something.

Actually – it was the prospect of being around other Moms. I built the group up in my head to be a tight-knit clan of perfectly coiffed women whose children didn’t have oatmeal on their faces. I saw them talking and laughing in their pre-formed group and glaring at NikkiZ and I as we walked in. I heard them whispering about my mismatched socks and wondering if my child had been bathed in the last week. Essentially? I predicted this to be the most heartless and evil group of women on the planet. Because that makes sense for story time at Barnes & Noble.

Do you want to guess what happened? Go ahead – try.

We were the only ones there. The Barnes & Noble employee read the story about the duck to us, and then we made our own duck puppet. All by ourselves. I wasn’t sure whether that turn of events made me happy or depressed that the day didn’t match the scenario in my head. At least in that scenario, there were other kids for NikkiZ to mingle with. Even if their Moms were glaring at me underneath their perfectly shaped eyebrows. I had kinda hoped for NikkiZ to get some interaction. Oh well. Maybe next time we’ll try Monday’s Story time. Maybe the evil Moms will show up then.

28 thoughts on “My First Journey Into The World Of Stay-At-Home Moms”

  1. Aw I wish I was in Alabama and had a toddler so I could come hang out with you guys! I hope the next time is better. And those other moms will be lucky if they’re half as cool as you :)

  2. The SAHMs that I know are the ones pulling their hair out, their children are still in their pjs for story time and we are so desperate for other human contact that we would scoop you up and smother you with mommy-ness.

  3. Events like this are one of the things I look forward to MOST about Motherhood. I don’t know if you have a Micheal’s Craft store in your area but they have a craft session for toddlers once a week… for like $2.00
    I am proud that you went and didn’t let the Mom’s in your head keep you away.

  4. I agree with Stacey. Bonus brownie for you for doing it.

    NikkiZ didn’t socialize with children, but she did socialize with someone other than you. That’s good, isn’t it?

  5. A tip, if I may be permitted…

    If your local library — or even the one the next town over — has story time, it might a much better bet than the Barnes and Noble one. My theory about this is that at the library, there’s no pressure to buy anything.

    Worth a shot, anyway. Quack, quack!

  6. You aren’t the only one terrified of that stuff! I’ve never gone to the Barnes & Noble story time here, either. I went to the library one once but didn’t care for the librarian leading it so we didn’t go back (trying again with a diff librarian in 2 weeks). I also couldn’t get myself to go to the one at our children’s museum this week because I wouldn’t know anyone there and what if they hate me or won’t talk to me because I’m not good enough for them? And then what if they don’t let their kids play with my kid…

    Are all moms this crazy? Because damn! Or is this just the high-school outcast in me?

  7. Did you check the local craft giant – a lot of them have “classes” for a dollar or two a week – totally drop in, and you can shop in the store during the craft session or hang out.

  8. See, I’m even crazier than you. In those circumstances, I would have worried that the perfect mums saw me and my offspring approaching and left rather than suffer our presence. (And no, I am not suggesting that is what happened!!!!!!!!)

  9. If I didn’t work and didn’t live in Texas I would come to story time with you. Although story time would probably be at my house and involve Shiner Bock beer (for me) and something non-alcoholic for you. But whatever…I’d totally hang out with you.

  10. You aren’t the only one – I still get nervous before parent meetings at my son’s school. Like all the color-coordinated, perfect haired moms will immediately know I don’t belong there and they’ll either shun me or (even worse) be nice me and then talk about me when I leave. We didn’t do the Barnes and Noble thing, but we did storytime at the library and it was very stressful for me. Plus I kept thinking that my (usually very well behaved) son would choose that time to finally throw the world’s biggest fit and the other moms would think it was because I was a bad mother. Yeah, I worry about weird things.

  11. Hahaha, you crack me up. I always went to the library story time, where all the uber liberals who never wore makeup or bras out of protest went. :) I always felt like I was never eating enough granola or organic food when I was with them.

  12. I used to lead some of those story times at Borders. And people never came. I guess all the SAHMs were at the library. that’s where I went when I SAHMed, too :p

  13. I used to be that person doing storytime at B&N. Here in Hsv. Then I was the storylady at the library. Library’s 100% better hands down, plus they have a storytime almost every day of the week, usually 2-3per day. Really helps with the ole’ schedule conflicts.

    We got a family membership to the Botanical Gardens and used the hell out of it last year. Maybe an idea for the spring? Also, the YMCA off Weatherly has cool kids area in the indoor pool, and an equally cool play area for kids while mommy can get her eliptical on… it & the indoor Chick-Filet playground has been my personal savior the past few weeks since its been too cold for outside.

  14. Check out the library. They usually have preschool story hour, puppet shows etc. From one stay at home mom to another: If they look perfect and pulled together they are not a stay at home mom. We don’t have time for that. It is hard to get dressed with a toddler on your leg.
    Good luck but keep her around her peers. She will need it and look for a mother’s day out program at a local church. I promise, you will all need it soon.

  15. Glad to know I’m not the only one who gets nervous over seemingly “easy” things like that. My 5 year old is going to his first birthday party at someone’s house that’s not a close friend (a classmate from Kindergarten). I’m going, too, and I’m nervous. What will I say? Will I just stand there and look like an idiot?

    I’m recently a single mom and I’m wondering how you handled all these things with LilZ? Maybe you were young and naive and didn’t worry as much. That is my theory. I’m older now and I know too much to not be nervous. What say you O’ wise Zoot?

  16. Which Barnes & Noble was this at [I assume Jones Valley, right?] and what time is story hour? I know the library does story time, but was told it was geared more to the 4-5 age range, too far a jump for Tyler’s ‘not-quite-2′ stage.

  17. I used to work at a bookstore where we had storytime, but the kids would start bringing up other books and I would get stuck there for like the entire Robert Munch treasury. Something about me screams “Auntie Who Will Spoil You Rotten” or..you know..total sucker.

  18. I’m going to feel horrible for typing this…. but those moms… they don’t go to the free things.

    As a nanny I used to take the boys to the Barnes and Noble for the free story/craft/snack time. I found it was always a really nice bunch of moms. The tight knit clan of perfectly coiffed moms? They’re at our $150 ymca class making plans to meet with the toddlers for lunch at the posh downtown diner (not the regular diner!)

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