Or The One My Husband Won’t Read Because He Feels Blogging About Blogging Is Really Lame
Wow. Where to begin? I have so many blogging issues swirling around in my head right now I’m not sure where to begin. So - lets start chronologically.
SITUATION I
About a month or so ago - a blogger responded to another blogger in my comments section negatively. Unfortunately, she didn’t address that person and I just got emailed her comment so I assumed it was directed at me. I felt awful and apologized in an upset way (because I wasn’t sure how I deserved the negativity because I didn’t realize she wasn’t talking to me) and too quick to the punch (if I had let it sit, I might have sorted it out) and that upset her. So she blogged about it. She didn’t link to me directly, but when I read the blog entry I knew it was directed to me. SHE WAS UPSET because, of course in her mind, I overreacted and in her mind, I should chill out because it wasn’t directed at me. She emailed me back and we all feel much better now. I apologized for automatically assuming she hated me with that comment and not my commenter. It’s all good now, but the situation still haunts me because I felt like there was a way I could have avoided it. So - here are the lessons from that one -
Lesson for Zoot: If a comment seems too angry to be logical, step back and reevaluate. It might not be directed at you. And also - DON’T BE SO SENSITIVE.
Lesson for Zoot’s Commenters: Zoot is really sensitive, so be sure to address the person you’re talking to because even if it’s obvious to you (like being the next commenter) she will probably assume you’re talking to her.
SITUATION II
I wrote an entry about buying two pastries at Panera bread instead of one (one for the fetus!) and someone left a comment about how I’m obviously not trying too hard to save money after getting laid off. There may have even been an emoticon eye-roll or something. I was terrified the rest of the world would think similar crappy thoughts so I simply deleted the entry. Gone. Which is not at all the way to handle the situation as a mature adult, I’m guessing. I realized that later.
Lesson for Zoot: DON’T BE SO SENSITIVE. But also - don’t delete your words. It’s your story and you shouldn’t feel like that’s ever a good solution.
Lesson for Zoot’s Commenters: Zoot’s really sensitive. Let’s try to be nice, okay? A comment that you think isn’t that bad will honestly make her cry. She is embarrassed about this - but it’s true.
SITUATION III
Someone wrote an entry this week about how they think I hate them. They linked to me directly but that’s not how I found it because I’m bad about not checking my referral stats. A mutual reader sent it to me because they knew I didn’t hate the person and thought I may want to contact her to clear things up. Their reasons were some of the following: 1) I responded to a request for help incorrectly and they felt awkward. 2) I never brought a comment of theirs out of moderation. 3) I suck at commenting, responding to comments, emailing, and visiting blogs. Of course - she didn’t say those things specifically but that’s the general feel. And in reality? She’s right. I do suck. And it does make me look like I hate her. I don’t, though, I promise. And I emailed her and told her that and explained myself. But - my feelings were hurt and being the third forced-self-evaluation incident in the last month, I decided it was time to do some bloggy soul-searching.
I did the first thing I always do with a blog dilemma, I email my blogging support group. RancidRaves, RunningStitch, and Slackermama have been my go-to group for all things blog-related (and not - since sometimes my emails are more along the lines of, “My husband forgot Valentine’s Day!!!”) for almost three years now, I guess. We all use each other and I highly recommend you build yourself a good group like that. They come in handy for talking you down from the ledge when you send out emails that say,”I’M TAKING DOWN MY BLOG!” Here are some conclusions I’ve come to.
Acknowledging Commenters Is More Important Than I Realized
After many back-and-forths and link sharing and thought sharing, I came to a conclusion. I am a really sucky blogger. REALLY SUCKY. It first hit me when Brit mentioned that she feels crappy if she’s new to a blog and they don’t respond to her comment. Everyone echoed that and I can honestly say to you: THIS SURPRISED ME. I comment on a handful of blogs a day and don’t ever think about why they didn’t respond back. Obviously - I’m in the minority with that one. Maybe it’s because I don’t comment often, or maybe it’s because I’m a moron, but I never realized that people might get their feelings hurt if I didn’t recognize their comments.
Too Much Time Reading And Not Enough Communicating is a Bad Balance
RancidRaves sent me this link as a good resource and I about crapped my pants. Do you see that pie-chart? She spends 20% of her blogging time emailing/responding to comments. 50% writing and only 5% reading. If I did that same type of chart it would say 70% writing, 25% reading and 5% emailing/commenting. Obviously - this is where my error is. Maybe I have too many things in my feed-reader. Maybe I’m really sucky at communicating. Maybe it’s a little of both. Either way - my blogging priorities are not normal.
I Don’t Deserve A Pedestal of Any Kind, Which Means I Have No Good Excuses
I think the weird thing about this - is that a lot of people seem to think of me as a “popular” blogger. Many have said, “Well - you get gobs of comments so you can’t respond to them all.” I mean - I know I get more comments than a beginner - but I do some entries that don’t even get 5 comments. It’s true - I can’t respond to them all - especially now that I’m getting so little computer time a day. But - I obviously need to be better. I’m not an a-lister blogger by any means. I get decent traffic, but it’s not going to allow me to let my husband quit his job the second I put ads on it. I don’t even pay attention to my stats, to be honest, because I sometimes build them up to be higher in my head and get depressed when I see the actual numbers. So - I don’t have a good excuse. I’m just lame.
I’m Very Insecure About Commenting
I only comment on a handful of sites a day. Like, 2-5 total. I read over 100, but I comment rarely. This is mainly because I am very insecure about commenting. I don’t like to comment unless I really feel like I can add something. And usually then, afterward, I realize it’s a really lame addition and wish I hadn’t commented. Evidence: Linda wrote a good entry about beginning the post-baby weight loss challenge with non-existent free time. Yet, what did I comment about? Her one-sentence reference to the hotness of Captain Jack Harkness. WHAT THE HELL? I wish I could delete my comment because several others commiserated or gave their own stories. I’m all like, “OMG. DROOL. JACK IS SEXY.” That is the WORST comment EVER and exactly why I don’t like to comment other places. It took me about 45 minutes to write a comment at Julie’s and it was just a simple question. So - this is obviously something I need to get over. But - I don’t want to be a one-word commenter. I want to actually contribute somehow. I think it’s because I assume that bloggers would rather have an actual comment or none at all. It looks like that may be wrong.
BUT - To Me - Writing is the Most Important Part of it All
Here is where I think the inherent problem lies. If I have some free time at the computer, and I can either respond to comments or write another entry, I write another entry. I like to provide content to blog and if I have an entry idea, that is my first step. So, with limited computer time, the emails/comments get pushed aside. I am fairly certain I have just as many readers out there who are NOT bloggers as I do bloggers, and I feel like I think about them more than the bloggers. I want to give them something new to read, if I have something new to talk about. I set aside time to blog, I don’t set aside time to email. And I think that is the root of my issues. I assume everyone else is the same way. That they would rather write than respond if they are limited, but I don’t think that’s the case now.
THE POINT OF IT ALL
So - there are going to be some changes in my blogging style/methods. But - before I make a new Blogging Creed for myself - I’d really like to hear your thoughts/feedback. If you don’t have a blog, I’d really like your feedback as well because I think of my non-blogging readers often and would love to hear their opinions. Here are some questions I’d like to hear your response to.
My Questions To You:
1. As a blog reader - how offended are you when I (or any other blogger) don’t respond to your comments? Are you like me and you don’t even think about it? Or are you like the rest of the world and it hurts your feelings? On a scale from 1-10 with “not offended” being a 1 and “seriously offended probably won’t comment again” being a 10.
2. As a blogger - what percentage of time blogging do you spend commenting on other people’s blogs? How about responding to emails or comments? How about writing?
3. Do you rate the comments on your blog? Do you think about whether someone is contributing to conversation or are you just happy to get the comment? For example - if someone just says, “Funny!” - are you fine with that? Just to get the comment? Or would you rather them not comment at all if they don’t really have much to say?
BEFORE YOU ANSWER:
Please make sure you read the entry before you answer the questions - it’s frustrating when it’s obvious someone didn’t read that paragraphs before the questions.
Don’t say anything negative about any of the bloggers mentioned in the three situations above. You all like to jump to my defense and I love that but my feelings were hurt in all three situations, I don’t want someone in my comments section to reciprocate that.
Edited to Add: Michelle wrote a great blogging entry yesterday that is much better than this one. I had to link to it. I don’t normally like the blogworld = high school analogy, but she brings up some funny points.
1) It honestly does bother me a bit, when I comment somewhere and the person replies to EVERYONE except for my comment. Granted, that is normally through comments when the blogger replies through comments, so you can see them replying to everyone. I feel like a baby about this, but… it brings back memories of high school for me, when someone would invite EVERYONE in the class to a party, but leave me out on purpose. I feel like the blogger doesn’t like me. But I’ll still comment from time to time, if I feel as though what I’m saying is sort of important.
2) I don’t comment on other peoples sites too often ~ but I am on livejournal, and a member of a lot of communities. So there are a LOT of posts daily… I probably comment on less than 5% of them. Yes, some days I’ll comment more, but other days… I just kind of sit back and don’t do anything.
3) I like getting comments. Mainly because it makes me feel good, to know that *someone* is reading what I wrote. I don’t care so much as to what they say, as to know that they care about me.
@ Secha - OMG. I think you put into words EXACTLY why I don’t like responding to comments IN the comment section, because I’ve noticed that too! If everyone gets a response but me - I feel lame. I’d rather assume no one was getting one.
Of course, I’m leaving this comment in the comment section to make you feel better, but I’ll email it too b/c I prefer it that way. (grin)
I’m horrible at commenting and I blame it all on Google! They need to add a function of “ADD COMMENT” to their reader, because I am simply too lazy to click the LINK TO THE POST.
If I do comment though, I rarely ever go back and read the comment section. I have never really thought about the Blogger responding to me. So I guess I didn’t realize I was missing anything.
I love your blog, I identify w/ you and secretly can’t wait for you to come back to Atlanta so I can meet you. So just call me a quiet fan
Dude, this post is wonderful as I’ve been wondering the same thing…and it bleeds into Flickr. I feel like I have to comment back on some comments when really, who has time for that?
So…
1. I’m a number 1, seriously not offended if someone doesn’t reply to my comments. It’s a personal preference, to me, as to how a blogger likes their comments. For me, I’ll comment if I have something to say but more importantly, if I have to time to say it. Rarely do I have time to say something in response to what I read so I understand if a blogger doesn’t have time to respond back to my comment on their writing.
2. I try to spend my time reading other’s blogs and writing on my own. Comments I make are a low priority on my list. I will respond to emails though and to comments I think are begging for a comment. Sometimes I cop out and begin my next entry with a blanket “Thanks for all your comments…” statement. It’s what I have time for.
3. I like comments. I don’t feel like “Oh I agree!” or “Funny!” or whatever are lame or anything like that. In fact, sometimes my thoughts go in the other direction when I’m commenting - do they really want to hear my side? Or would they rather hear an “Amen!”? Obviously this issue is confusing.
Just a great topic. And you’re making me totally re-evaluate my blog and Flickring as well.
I’m not deeply offended when someone doesn’t respond to my comments, but I am surprisingly gratified when they do.
I comment quite a lot - probably 35%.
And I enjoy pretty much any comment on my blog because I, like Secha, feel like it means somebody is reading and cares enough to comment.
I used to blog, I no longer have one. I used to be upset with no comments. But I do believe I am like the rest of the world and I kind of upset if I don’t get a response to a comment or request I have made. More so on the bigger bloggers (the famous ones). I do agree though since I don’t blog it is more interesting reading new stuff and you especially because you will most time update more than once a day and when I get bored…… well. If for some reason I put something just like funny on someone’s comments I wouldn’t be upset if it wasn’t acknowledged, but a question or and insite yeah. So rating the comments no, I was excited just to get a comment they were all up there.
1. As a blog reader -
I think I am indifferent. I have been reading your site for years. I comment when I feel the need to comment and when I feel like I have something to add. There are times when I feel silly about commenting because somehow I feel like I am invading your personal life and I think you would think I was stupid for my comment. So 90% of the time I don’t say anything. I don’t really care either way if you respond to me. I LIKE when you do… but it doesn’t make me feel bad either. I guess I figure if you have something related to what I said or had something to say about it you would tell me.
And you have in the past. Thank you for responding to me! Sometimes its like that false hope of a new bff though you know. I guess I don’t know what to do when people reply to me. Do I reply back? Will they get their feelings hurt if I don’t or really feel like I am stalking them if I do.
2. As a blogger -
I only have a very small blog about my kids and for family. Its not nearly as cool as a normal blog so I don’t get commenter’s and really I am ok with that. I don’t like to be noticed. LOL I got one comment from a non family person once and it scared me and I didn’t reply to her because I didn’t know what to do! And who is lame-o now?
3. Do you rate the comments on your blog?
I rate commenter’s on other peoples blogs if that counts. I usually skip over all the ‘firsts’ and one word comments and read the ones that have substance to them. I have no idea if that would pertain to my blog.
i am sorry you got your feelings hurt though. I think that happens in so much of the online world where you cannot see what the tone of the message is. Parenting boards, blogs, groups…. its all there. I love your blog and whether you reply to me or not I will be a daily reader! Thank you for sharing your life with us zoot!
I’m not offended that you don’t reply to comments, but I do find I come back to see if you added anything else in the comment section.
I get so few comments on my blogs that I feel it is important to respond to them. I installed an email comment responder plugin that posts my response on the blog and emails the commenter. It isn’t perfect but suits me right now. And even if the comment is one word, I think it is golden. People comment so rarely on blogs lately (in general) I know it took something for that person to leave a comment.
I do try to leave comments on blogs I read and recently found I am getting referral traffic from them, so bonus! Someone I know said she tries to leave 10 comments a day on 10 different blogs relevant to her blogs. I might be lucky if I leave 5.
I used to be timid about leaving comments on “popular” blogs (I don’t bother when Dooce opens her comments) and I tend to not leave a comment if the comment number is over 100 by the time I get to the entry (unless I feel very strongly about the subject). I also worry about leaving a comment on every single entry a person posts in a day. Is that brown nosing? Or do I really have something to contribute to every post?
And as for percentage of time I spend writing, I guess I don’t think of it as time as a post goal. How many entries do I want to write today? Am I doing any paid posts is part of my equation (recently, not many) and I try not to beat myself up if I can’t come up with anything interesting today. (Hello, flu!)
Problogger.net has some interesting info about spending time writing/ reading/ commenting if you check out his archives. (Um, and I don’t usually comment there either. Total lurker, LOL.)
Hope this is helpful.
1. I absolutely love when people respond to my comments, because I feel like it’s so much more of a community that way. But especially on the “big” blogs like you and Amalah for instance, I know that you’ve got so many to deal with and I don’t take offense.
2. I don’t write very often - I’m all about the reading and occasional comment. I’m a worse commenter since Reader though. Funnily enough, your “Monthly MVPs” thing totally motivates me - even when I just say something inane
3. I love getting comments - probably because it’s so rare
I don’t rate them, I’m happy to know that someone’s reading, and especially to know who they are. Though I’m less likely to respond to a one word comment, because then I don’t know what to say! I try to email back when I can though. I don’t respond in the comments because that assumes someone’s going to come back and read through the comments - and I know I have a hard enough time clicking through the first time!
1. I am not offended when someone doesn’t respond to a comment I’ve made. Possibly because I don’t respond to all of my comments.
2. I spend most of my time reading blogs (on a feed reader) There are a few blogs I comment on only when I really have something to add to the conversation. Mostly I comment on my friends’ blogs. My little internet circle of friends- most of my comments come from them as well. Writing is probably my lowest priority. (This probably makes me a bad blogger.)
3. I like comments, and don’t mind just a comment to see that someone is reading. Actually, what bothers me most is knowing that people are reading and not commenting. I want to know what they are thinking!
Zoot,
I am not a blogger, and I read three blogs on a regular basis, yours most often, and then amalah and dooce.
I comment occasionally, mostly on yours and I do not mind one bit that you do not reply to me. I figure that is what is to be expected since I am not a blogger and you have no idea who I am anyway. I just want to let you know that I am reading and enjoying your posts, so that is why I comment. But I hardly ever have anything substantial to contribute.
And if it were up to me, I would prefer you keep spending the majority of your time on the actual writing, because that I what I come here for.
1. I wouldn’t say I’m offended when a bloger doesn’t respond to my comment, but it makes me less likely to comment on their blog in the future. I assume they have comments enabled for a reason, to get some feedback. If they don’t respond to my comment, I assume they’re not that interested in their readers or what they have to say. That being said, if it’s a popular blog and the blogger is getting 50 or more comments per entry, I understand if they don’t respond given the time commitment that would take although it would still be nice.
2. I don’t leave a lot of comments. I’m more a reader than a commenter. If something strikes me, I will leave a comment, if not I just take pleasure from reading what the blogger has to say. I don’t get a lot of traffic to my own blog and even less comments so I don’t spend much time responding to comments. Over time I hope that changes.
3. I like receiving comments. I don’t get many so I’m grateful for whatever I get. I’ve tried to respond to every one I receive, usually in the comments section since I can’t see their e-maill address in most cases.
1. I think I would only be offended if the comment I left was very personal. And even then, I don’t think it would bother me that much.
2. I spend a lot of time reading other blogs, but since I’ve started reading them in Google Reader, I’ve become very lazy about commenting. But, I don’t even write on my own blog that often… I try really hard to respond to the emails/comments I receive but I’m often checking email right before picking my son up from school or feeding my daughter, etc.. and I don’t have the time to write a thoughtful response. I always think I’ll get around to it but then it’s a few days later and I feel lame so I don’t do it at all.
3. I don’t mind quick comments. It’s nice to know someone thought enough about what I wrote to say anything!
1.I don’t comment to get commented on I comment toward the blog I wrote…
2. I have a blog that I use on the internet when i really want to (linked on myspace) that you need to request me to be a friend to read so um wait what was the question?? Oh commenting if you are a blog person… I comment about once a week on just 3 blogs.
3. Don’t rate don’t care what the comments are or if they comment.
Zoot one more thing about your sensativity instead of crying when I read something that is mean or seems mean towards me (comment or email) I react by being even meaner back so crying is probably better. Although it would be best to aviod any negativity at all especially from strangers.
Before I get started….Alli and Heather that comment? You guys look totally alike!! Are you guys related or is it just some look-a-like twin thing?
okay now down to business.
1. I don’t really get offended if someone doesn’t comment back or email back to me. I would put me at a 1.5 on the scale. In fact someone just emailed me this weekend in response to a comment I made and it suprised me and made me laugh because it was really funny. If I ask a question in the comments and it gets answered? fantastic. If it doesn’t? I am not going to go all balistic about it. But that is just me. If I had a choice between more comment responses and reading another entry? I am all about another entry.
2. I spend about an even amount of time commenting on other blogs as I do to writing. I don’t read that many blogs in fact the ones I read on a regular basis I could count on 2 hands. I have more that I read on a weekly basis. I don’t get many emails or comments so that is low on the totem pole for me. Although apparently mentioning T@ylor H!cks and you get people coming out of the woodworks. I didn’t really respond to much of those because I know it was people who must have a google alert and have never read my blog before and just wanted info.
3. I don’t rate my comments. Sure it would be really nice if the comments were more than just one word, and actually pertained to the entry. On the other hand? It is nice when I get more than 3 comments on a post and if one of those just says “funny!” I will gladly take it.
I think you are a rare breed Zoot, you really take other people’s feelings in to consideration. In the end it is YOUR blog and you should do what YOU feel is right….if people don’t like it? There is one thing to do, for those people and that is not to read. It is that simple.
Awww, don’t be so hard on yourself! I think that people who get upset because a blogger doesn’t respond to their comment are too sensitive….I don’t comment too often on blogs but I don’t expect the blogger to respond to any of my comments either. When they do it’s a nice surprise. I enjoy reading blogs because people are funny or insightful writers or i”ve been reading them for so long they feel like part of my life and I care about what happens to them. I think those sites that give percentages of what time you should spend blogging/reading whatever are silly. Every individual should be able to decide how they want to spend their time.
01. I do not really get offended. I try to understand that people have their hands full most of the time just like I do! I am not a big comment responder - sometimes I do and a lot of times I don’t and it is not because I do not want to, or do not like someone… I am just busy ALL THE TIME.
02. Like you, I have a small circle that I have become really close with over the years, so I comment on their sites daily. The rest of the people I read through my reader, I try to comment weekly. But there are a handful that I truly enjoy reading daily but do not feel comfortable commenting on a regular basis - which sounds really really dumb… but oh well!
03. I love comments. I love when they add to the conversation and make me laugh. BUT I also just like someone letting me know every once and a while that they are reading. I suck at checking all the stats and seeing who is reading and not and I have know clue how to find out who all reads me through a reader.
First, yours is the only comment I remember from Linda’s post yesterday. It was hilarious.
If I comment on a new blog, say 10 times and never receive a reply, I am less likely to come back unless the blogger gets hundreds of comments because really that’s a lot to ask. I don’t care about replies to comments. But I think you may have replied on my very first comment here.
I comment on about 5 different blogs a day.
I have a hell of a time thinking what to say sometimes and do settle for stupid things like “How funny.” a lot of the time.
1. I do get offended if NONE of my comments are ever responded to by the same blogger. I can think of about 4, just off the top of my head that I’ve commented on periodically over many years, and never ONCE have they responded. You eventually get, that they think they’re better than you and can’t be bothered, because you’re not in the “loop”. Personally I don’t like when the responses are in the comment section because I rarely go back to them, unless it’s a really great topic. I figure… been there, done that! (BTW, you have emailed responses to me over the years…. thank you)
2. I think I spend 75% reading, 15% blogging, and 5% commenting. I do respond to most of my comments via email, but I don’t blog near often enough to keep up my readers. Since I read through Google Reader, I too find it much less convenient to comment.
3. I don’t rate comments at all! I’m just glad to get them, because then you know someone bothered to read, and took the time to comment.
Taking your lead and commenting even though I don’t usually.
1) 1, not offended at all. I think it’s a treat when someone responds to a comment I made.
2) I’m too shy to comment a lot of the time, and like you I really like feeling like I have something to say, so probably <5%.
3) Happy to get comments! Yay comments!
Okay - I got like a million comments just while taking my son to school! NOW WHAT?
But seriously - I hope to respond to most of you but I want you to know I’m reading EVERY ONE OF THEM. Some of them twice because I find this so interesting. I can not BELIEVE how many of you don’t mind the “How Funny!” comments because I honestly thought everyone would hate that.
KEEP ‘EM COMING.
1. I was REALLY slow to pick up on the responding to new commenters thing on my blog. It took a couple of other people doing it when I commented to realize that perhaps I should respond to new commenters. As for when I comment on a blog, I am usually surprised when I get a response. If it is a Big Blogger, I am shocked. I actually feel a little guilty because I usually comment to let them know I enjoyed the post or what I thought - I didn’t mean for it to make them take time out of their day to respond to me.
2. I probably spend less time writing than I do reading which is skewed. I try to keep up with a lot of people and try to comment with some regularity to let them know I am thinking of them. I don’t get that many comments that need to be responded to (sadly, once I think of them as a regular or a friend, I only respond if I have something to say) so I don’t have to spend much time emailing.
3. We all like comments. And I don’t mind the occasional “funny” or “so true” from someone who just wants to let me know they stopped by but if that is all they ever have to say and they never seem to contribute to the conversation? I find that lame. I leave those quick comments when I haven’t commented in awhile but I also try to leave a thoughtful comment here and there.
1. I’m not offended if someone doesn’t respond to my comments, especially if it’s a “popular” blogger. Then again, I’m always excited when Chris at Rude Cactus takes the time to email me back — even if it’s just to say “Thanks” — even if he’s gotten like 50 comments. And I know I always love to see a response from Miss Zoot in my inbox.
2. I think I spend the most time reading, then commenting, and then writing on my own blog. I’m more likely to have something to say in response to someone else than I am to be able to organize my own thoughts on an original subject. I make every effort to respond to every single comment on my blog, because really I don’t get that many and I’d feel lame if I didn’t. I respond in the comments section because it’s easier that way; I didn’t realize some people prefer to get an emailed response.
3. I love comments. I’ll admit it: I am a comment whore. Every comment, no matter how simple or short or goofy, makes me happy. Unless, you know, they say something like “you’re an asshole and you smell funny.” Not that that ever happened to me, but it wouldn’t be very nice.
I don’t really get offended if I am not responded to, though sometimes, if I have been particularly heartfelt or empathetic to a blogger who doesn’t have a huge stack of comments–either in general, or to a particular entry–it surprises me. Sometimes it makes me feel a little bad, too, I guess, but other times, honestly, it makes me feel like the blogger blogs because she needs to be heard and needs or wants the attention more than she wants the full expanse of the blogging/blogger relationship.
But all that sounds really overstated when I type it, because I truly think most readers need to take a damn chill and I am just grateful you provide so much new content, which I love! I also think it makes perfect sense you would think an angry comment was directed to you. I for one had no idea that bloggers don’t just come and click on their own comments and read them right in a row like the rest of us. I think you feel maybe TOO bad about all this.
1. I don’t get offended when a blogger doesn’t respond to my comment unless I’m asking them a specific question. So I guess a 2. And I will admit Zoot, I also used to think you didn’t like me. Or that maybe you were too cool to be my friend or something. But then I met you in person and realized I was totally wrong. You are so humble and sweet and just how I had hoped you would be.
2. I probably spend 50% reading, 25% writing and 25% commenting/responding. When you subscribe to as many blogs as I do, how can you not spend the most time reading? And since I discovered google reader… well it just makes me lazy.
3. I don’t really think I rate the comments on my blog. Although sometimes I get upset when I think some of my better posts get little or no comments and then I go and post about moisturizer and get lots of comments from people I didn’t even know read my blog. It makes me nervous to blog about the other stuff.
1) I actually DON”T expect to be answered or addressed. I used to, but through experience, I’ve realized that I won’t be. BUT. I love it when I am acknowledged, either in the comments (although, unless I know that the blogger regularly does that, I don’t keep checking back for comments) or email.
2) I TRY to comment. I tend to favor regular commenters on my site. Even if I don’t have much to add. Usually, new commenters will get an email. They’ll get a comment if I have something to add, or after they’ve been around for a couple posts or so.
3) I’m grateful for all my comments. Because sometimes you post a picture of your kid, and it’s nice to hear “Cute”.
PS- I’m glad you wrote this. Because awhile back, you were supposed to “spotlight” me, and you didn’t. Now I know you just forgot.
1. I am not offended {1} , I am barely a hobbiest blogger myself and when I comment on big blogs I assume the writer is negotiating awesome book contracts or playing with the kids or whatever. With smaller blogs I have higher hopes of responses of some sort, so for them I might be dissapointed at about a {3}
2. In order- I read, I write, I comment. I’m a big chicken about commenting, because I like to say something of substance and I rarely have anything to say. At the moment my blog is grossly Emo and so I’m almost not doing this comment for fear you’ll go look at my site and think horrible things about me.
3. I’m just tickled that someone commented, not enough people do to have a conversation yet.
1. Maybe it is because my site gets very little traffic and honestly only has people who actually know me leaving me comments, but I would never even think to be offended if you didn’t leave me a comment. In all honesty, if you did come to my site and leave something, I would totally just die. I am going to go ahead and give this a 1…if I get a comment back, big score, but I would NEVER expect it.
2. I would say I spend about 1% of the time commenting. I am very uncomfortable with leaving strangers comments, adn even when I read blogs and feel like I know people, can realate to situations and might even have some decent insight, I will not comment. I am the queen Lurker. I spend about 40% of the time blogging…and then I guess that leave 59% for reading!
3. I don’t get many comments, so this doenst really apply to me. Anything I get, even if it is just a “I stopped by” gives me joy…
**On a seperate note, I am also a very emotional person, take everything personally and commonly cannot control tears coming, even when I know they are not even remotely called for. People who leave mean comments are just terrible. There is no need to be rude when people put themselves outthere like bloggers do!
I did this kind of informal survey a couple months back. Almost everyone wants to be responded to in some way, either in the comment thread or with an email response. Not every day but occasionally, so that the blogger gives a shit that they’re alive and the blog is more about a relationship formed with the readers than some kind of pep rally with the comments merely an affirmation of how awesome the writer is and no attempt at reciprocation.
It is impossible from day to day to respond to 20-25 commenters. But I try to at least with semi-regularity email or comment back so the readers know I AM reading their comments and appreciate the time they spent at my blog.
If I read a blog with regularity for quite some time and I never get any hint that they have acknowledged my existence, I will stop visiting there. Blogging is a two-way relationship, writer to reader.
Here’s a completely idiotic analogy:
Your favorite author writes a book, has a book signing, but after waiting in line, the author makes no eye contact with you, doesn’t care that you bought several copies, and refuses to autograph them.
I think most of your readers know you don’t comment back because you write more content, but I also think you’re right and you’re in the minority in not doing so. It’s OK, I’ve been reading you the whole time I’ve been a blogger and you emailed me on a comment once and I still read. But when you did email me, it was better than curing a disease and getting Miss America, all in one day!
1) I couldn’t care less if someone responds to my comment. On the rare occasion that I leave one, it is simply because I feel that what I have to say NEEDS to be said (even if it is just YUM Captain Jack) and I don’t need someone responding.
2) not a blogger, not a clue
3) not a blogger not a clue
lots of hugs for all the sogginess over there, keep your head up and eyes forward, you have a lot of supporters out here.
I have a blog that I rarely update because I prefer to read other blogs and “sometimes” comment.
It does not bother me if bloggers do not respond to my comments. I would rather they spend time creating their next post which usually a) make me laugh b) reflect on my own life or c) teach me something I didn’t know. Sometimes I can tell in their next post they read my comment.
Item one, I LOVE IT when bloggers (especially “popular” ones) reply to comments I make. However, if they don’t, I don’t mind so much.
Item two, I should lurk less and comment more. I am trying to comment more. And I should reply to comments more often. After reading this, I think I’ll make it a point to reply to all comments instead of like the half that I currently reply to.
That being said, onto item three. ALL COMMENTS ARE GOOD COMMENTS, even OMG HE IS HOTT after I just blogged about my dead sister or something and happened to mention Brad Pitt in the same post.
This is a big one for me. I am not a new blogger, but I’m only recently trying to take it seriously. I get maybe 1 or 2 comments per post. Yet 40+ people are subscribed. If everyone who read my blog commented? It would do amazing wonders for my self esteem. I would even take negative comments, I just want feedback and want to know that people are reading. The content of the comment itself isn’t important.
And finally, I love this blog. Keep on keepin’ on Zoot. You are a superstar.
Personally, I never expect any of my comments on any blogs to receive a response from the blogger.
I assume the blogger is responsible for writing the blog, not acknowledging my 2 cents. I don’t look on any blogger as a source of wisdom, confidant, or Ann Landers substitute.
I just assumed that bloggers did their blogging for their own enjoyment, as a hobby, and had pretty busy lives already of their own.
I also write letters to the editors of newspapers & to some magazines. I don’t expect those to get a reply or an acknowledgement. That’s the same way I look at commenting on a blog.
To anyone who feels put out that Zoot doesn’t reply to thier post, I say, “Get over it. She’s a full-time Mom with 2 kids & one on the way. She’s got way more important stuff to deal with than responding to anyone who comments on her blog.”
To Zoot I say, “You keep up the good work. Take care of yourself, your kids, & your husband (in that order). Blog when you can. Your real fans don’t need replys.”
1. I am not offended when bloggers don’t respond to my comments. I understand that we all are busy with whatever parts of our lives, and if you respond, great, if not, no biggie. And I am like you, most of my comments are completely lame anyways.
2. I spend about 30 minutes writing a day (working, part time school, and two kids aged 4 and 2 seriously cut into my blogging time). I take at least one day a week to comment on all the blogs in my reader. Otherwise, I just have time to read.
3. I don’t rate the comments, although I do love them! I have gotten so much help, found new blogs to read, and made friends through people who have left comments.
I’m a fairly new blogger and don’t have much traffic at all, but I will answer the questions that you have posted.
1. As a blog reader to many blogs, I would have to say that I am not offended at all if I comment and don’t get a response back. A lot of times I’m not even expecting a response.
2. I probably spend most of my time reading other peoples blogs. I rarely comment on other blogs unless I feel like I have a worthy comment. Most times it seems as if other commenter’s have said what I would have said anyways. It would be hard for me to do the percentage breakdown.
3. I don’t rate comments on my blog because 1) I rarely get them and 2) I don’t think that would be fair to the commenter.
I really enjoy reading your blog Zoot!!!!
I am not a blogger. Please take it easy on yourself. Try to be less critical of yourself. I am amazed when anyone takes the time to respond to a comment of mine. I don’t comment expecting a response. Thank you for your wonderful blog.
1. I think I’m probably a 5 on this, and only because it goes one way or the other. Either I don’t care at all or I think, “I was totally insightful there! Why aren’t you responding to me!?” Most of the time I understand that people are too busy to respond to every, sginle comment received.
2. I don’t know that I’m technically a blogger, I have a livejournal that I’ve had for 7+ years that I update regularly but lately it’s been sporadic. Most of my commentors are friends and they don’t always comment. It’s an even split for me.
3. I don’t rate them because I have a big thing with validation. It doesn’t matter if the comment is big or small, has proper spelling, or is just an emoticon — the person responded to me for a reason and that’s cool, no matter what they say.
1. I’m not really offended when you don’t respond to comments. I know that you are super busy, and I know you’ve blogged before about not always having time to email everyone back, so I don’t stress about it too much. It doesn’t keep me from commenting or make me enjoy your blog any less. On the other hand, I do LOVE getting responses to my comments (if my comments are something meriting a response — I don’t think a “Funny!” comment really needs a response, because, really, what are you going to say to that? With my own comments I’m all about emailing back if 1) I have something to say to further the conversation or 2) it’s a first-time commenter and I want to show my appreciation for their taking the time to read and comment. but I think I’m getting ahead of myself here). Um, where was i? Oh, yeah. I love getting responses to my comments and I also was overjoyed this one time when you left a comment on my blog. I was all “Holy Crap! Zoot read this!” It was like a blogging milestone to me, because I think you’re really cool and stuff.
2. I have a folder of blogs in my feed reader that I try to read and comment on (if I have something to say) daily, and then I have a ton of other blogs that I enjoy reading but the un-read posts stack up because stupid things like “work” take priority. (What? Crazy!) I probably spend 50% of my blogging time reading, 20% writing and 30% emailing. (See my comment responding philosophy above.)
3. I am mostly just happy to get the comments, even if they are just “That’s so funny!” I don’t get a ton of comments every day, so every comment is exciting. The only ones I don’t love are the ones that seem to completely miss the point of the post. However, I’d also like to say that I love your comment on Linda’s post. Sometimes as a writer I throw in little references to hotties like that for fun, and I love it when people pick up on that in the comments.
In conclusion, have you read Schnozz’s recent posts about how everyone is crazy? As a person with low-ish self esteem, those posts have really got me thinking about how to not be so damn self conscious all the time. They’re great posts; if you haven’t read them and are interested, let me know and I’ll send you the link.
p.s. Holy longest comment ever! Sorry about that!
1. I really don’t expect a reply. If I get one, that’s great and I’m thankful that the blogger took the time to respond, but when bloggers get 40+ comments on an entry, I don’t expect that they realize I’m a new reader. So, on the scale, a 1.
2. I spend most of my time reading other blogs. I comment if I have something to say or a question to ask. If someone leaves a comment, and I don’t know them, I check their blog out, should they have one or write a quick e-mail. But then, I get comments on about 10% of my entries and half the time it is spam.
3. That said, I don’t mind the short n’ sweet comments. It lets me know people are there and they actually took the time to READ, rather than skimming and deciding I’m boring and a waste of their time. I’m still building a reading base, so that’s exciting. Also, given that I so rarely comment - how can I expect so much of others? I love when people add to the topic, or answer MY questions, but I don’t expect it. I write for me, but I share with the whole Internets as well.
Also, would like to add that I sometimes comment on other blogs because I know gets more people reading my blog, comming from comments sections of huge blogs. But I don’t leave a comment that says “HI! I like this. I BLOG HERE. COME VISIT ME.” Treat the blog as the blogger’s living room - if you wouldn’t say it to her face, don’t say it at all.
Sorry for the thesis, but I’m an English major who is about to be late for class and yet, can’t stop typing.
I don’t ever comment (Ok, I really really rarely comment) because I don’t usually have anything to add. I don’t think bloggers have a responsibility to answer comments, really.
If this stuff bothers you, why don’t you do something like Robyn (bitchypoo) and make a comment-question answering post every so often. (Maybe she would be offended to be copied but you could always ask her).
I like bloggers who say upfront in the “about” that they don’t answer comments and rarely answer emails, and that it doesn’t mean anything except they are busy, blah blah blah.
Wow. You’ve already gotten a lot of feedback regarding this, so feel free to toss my two cents out.. which may answer more than one question before I begin the numbers.
1) I don’t comment to garner a response. I comment because something I’ve read has elicited some emotional response on my end. Admittedly, some of the blogs I read have responded to my comments (via email, which was new to me), and we’ve developed friendships because of that. But in general, I don’t expect a response. It’s kinda like giving a gift in anticipation of a thank-you note, imho.
2) I comment pretty regularly, to be honest. But again, it’s because I type fast and don’t really care about receiving any response. I know that I like comments, so I assume other people do too. Even if it’s just a “OMG” or a “NOM NOM NOM”.
3) I love any and all attention and feel honored to get it, even if it’s just a “LOL”. So I rate any comment as “HOORAY, SOMEONE READS ME!”
Hmmm…I have to say that I rate not commenting about a 4. Not super, super important but an occasional comment is nice for the old blogger ego. I spend more time reading other blogs than I do writing on my own because I am a new blogger and I have so much to learn. I also prefer reading to writing so its a personality thing. If someone leaves me a comment I try to at least go visit their blog and check out their last few entries. I try to comment at least 2 times a week on people’s blogs just so they know that I am reading and supporting what they have to say. If I ever get a larger following it would get harder and my commenting would suffer so I understand that you have to prioritize.
I’m currently letting my daughter play with a lighter and some thumbtacks so that I can respond to comments. Do you think I’ve now hit the other end of the spectrum?
Zoot, I think I’m on your end of the spectrum.
1. 1. I am seriously not offended when others don’t respond to my comments. Maybe I’m just a big ol’ egotist, but my first thought is “they probably don’t have time” and not “they probably hate me.” I seldom go back to blogs to see if someone responded to my comment anyway and some people get entirely too many comments to use that “notify me of follow up comments box”. I’d never see the end of my inbox!
2. Again, I would much rather spend time writing (and reading!) than commenting because I have so little time. The blog is first and foremost for me to record stuff I want to remember so if I spend all my time commenting and no time writing, I miss that main goal of journaling which was the reason I started blogging in the first place. But I’ve come to acknowledge that most folks really want more comments. So I really try to comment more lately. The problem is I hate being the “me too” commenter. If I think of something to say and it’s already been said by some other witty person, then I’ll generally let their comment stand on its own. I want to contribute, dammit!
3. I think everyone wants comment love. I’m as happy getting to “me too” comments as I am getting the really insightful/funny comments. I just don’t like BEING the “me too” commenter. It’s a double standard, I know. I’ve got issues.
1. Most of the time I am absolutely NOT offended if a blogger doesn’t respond to my comment- I don’t even expect it UNLESS the blogger has responded to most of or all the comments. Then I might feel a little left out, but not offended.
Honestly, when a blogger DOES respond to my comment, it is a hugely nice surprise and makes me really happy, BECAUSE I didn’t expect it or assume they should.
I assume people have a lot going on and don’t have the time to respond to every comment.
AND, I don’t even usually check back to see if there was a response (except on a few site)- I often only know I got a response if I get an e-mail notification.
2. I don’t know my percentages, but right now I definitely read the most, comment sometimes, and am trying to write more….to me, my biggest failing is NOT writing enough. Plus I don’t get enough comments to count time spent responding as much time spent at all.
3. I admit that while I LOVE comments, I would kinda prefer that the comment be on what I wrote in the entry…this is partly because I don’t get a lot of comments- I get excited when I get one but then it’s a little bit of a let-down when it’s maybe just a word or two or not very relevant to my entry.
All that being said, a greeting or an “i like this” is still nice and makes me happy, just on a different level. ANY comment lets me know someone came by and was reading and took the time to post something, which at my small-scale blog stage is a very encouraging thing.
Love your blog!!
I’m not offended at all if a blogger doesn’t respond to my comment. Who has time for all that? I’d much rather read a new post of yours than having you waste time saying thank you or hello to my comment. I never expect a response from any site when I comment, in fact I’m usually pretty shocked when I get a response (which has happened very rarely).
I’m only a blog reader for now, so I really don’t have a response for the other questions. I read a lot of blogs almost daily but hardly ever, ever comment — maybe only a couple times a year? This is actually my first blog comment for the entire year. I guess I don’t comment much because I don’t feel I have enough to add or I don’t think the comments are read.
1. if you don’t start commenting on my blog…I won’t let you bring us cupcakes anymore
2. probably 50/50. But I only have about 3 readers…so I comment on everything to help drive traffic (i am a total comment whore)
3. Any comment makes me happy (see “comment whore” above)
I’m horrible about responding to comments. And I get few, so it’s entirely possible for me to acknowledge each one. (I have a disclaimer somewhere on my blog that literally says I rarely respond to comments, but that doesn’t mean I don’t read them. To be honest, sometimes the comments are smarter than anything I could have written myself, and I don’t know how to respond.)
As far as commenting on other blogs, if leaving comments on 2-5 blogs a day is slacking, then call me a slacker. (I think that’s a pretty good average, actually.)
1. I never assume anyone will respond to a comment I leave, unless I specifcally ask a direct question. So I’m not offended if I don’t hear back. Sometimes when I do hear back, I feel pressured to continue the conversation via e-mail! Weird, huh?
2. I probably spend 50% writing, 45% reading and 5% commenting/responding to comments. I admit it - I’m a anti-social lurker.
3. I don’t think I rate the comments on my blog. I read them all, of course, and enjoy it when anyone leaves a comment of any nature. No matter what the comment, it’s a gateway for me to see who is reading, and if they have a blog I can read.
As for responding to the comments on my posts, I usually just don’t have time. I read them all, and I enjoy them, but for me it’s more about the post-writing communication than the back and forth communication after the post is written (unless, of course, the post itself is a solicitation for advice or ideas). I never would have known until reading this post today that it would offend anyone to have not have their comments replied to via e-mail! I’m just out of the loop on that, I guess!
My Questions To You:
1. I’m not OFFENDED per say…though I almost pee myself anytime a blogger responds back to me…I do think about it though. In my head, even if the comments are stupid, look at how many people take the time out to comment on your blog? We’re all just little peon bloggers hoping for a response back. You have, however, responded when I had specific technical questions and once wrote me a nice email response to an email I sent you a few years ago, which was nice. So, I’ll rank as a 5 I guess. I’m a fence-rider. I DO appreciate the massive amounts of content, but also enjoy communication in the blog-o-sphere.
2. I only get about 2-3 comments per my posts because I have very few people who actually read I suppose…but I ALWAYS reply. I have created several good commenting/email relationships with bloggers across the country as a result. I guess it breaks down to 20% writing, 40% reading, 40% spreadin’ the comment love.
3. I don’t rate. I just appreciate the readership and the fact someone was willing to say something to me about something I wrote, even if it’s “dumb”. If you just say “funny” that’s fine with me! At least I know I’m witty once in a great while!
Hope this helps!
Food for thought.
While I love to get responses, I’m not offended if someone doesn’t respond. Life is busy, it’s OK.
I am a terrible responder, I go through phases. Sometimes I’m good at it, other times not so much.
I love any and all comments, I don’t really think about them in terms of “quality”, though I will on occasion think to myself “wtf?” if I get an off the wall one.
The feed reader (and, OK this pesky job thing I have) has made me a lazy commenter, I need to get better at it.
Referring to the angry comments: I know how that feels. Writing a sports blog over the past year, I’ve received several mean-spirited comments to petty thoughts that I depicted on my blog. In all the 30 apples, there’s going to be one that equals a bad one. (The previous sentence may be the worst analogy ever devised.)
1. As a blog reader, I do not expect a response to my comment. When I get one, I am very touched because I understand the time it takes to do that. Cool! But I do not expect a response.
2. I probably spent more time reading and commenting on other blogs than I actually spend on my own blog. This varies depending if there is anything going on in my life worth writing about (um, not usually!) and also depends if I have hit a writing block (lately? a lot!). Honestly? I comment a lot because I think it is FUN. I am pretty opinionated and love spouting off. I only reply if I feel I have something to add - I rarely do the “Love you, love your blog” comments.
3. Most of my comments are from RL friends or blog friends. It doesn’t matter to me what sort of comments they leave, quite frankly. I am frequently commenting on their blogs, so it sorta feels like a conversation to us.
I’m not offended if I don’t get a response and don’t expect one from folks who get a lot of comments. I am secretly thrilled and do a little happy dance when I do get a response.
I respond to most of my comments because I’m a newish blogger and appreciate each and every comment so very much.
I only comment when I feel I have something to really add to a discussion, or if I really think something’s well written.
Well, I’m a crappy commenter but I figured I’d let you know my thoughts. First of all, I’m a reader only not a blogger. It does not bother me at all when I leave a comment on someones blog and it’s not responded to. That would take alot of time, and I personally would prefer to read more of your entries than have you personally answer my comments.
With that being said, I think you are doing a great job and you are by far my favorite blogger.
1. I am not offended one single little bit if someone doesn’t respond to a comment I’ve left. I am impressed by the people who do take the time to respond to comments regularly, but I honestly don’t see the ponit of doing it as a habit unless there is actually something to say. So I’d say I’m a 1.
2. I feel the same way about leaving a comment. I try to leave comments because I know people love them, but if I have nothing to add, I don’t feel bad about not commenting. I’d rather not comment than fret about my comment being seen as “stupid” because sometimes I like to overthink things a bit. To answer your question, I probably spend 40% of my blogging time reading other blogs, and 10% commenting and responding to comments/emails. That leaves 50% for writing, which isn’t that much, but when I’m not feeling inspired to write something myself it’s a lot easier to just go to my feed reader.
3. I don’t mind comments like “Funny!” at all, but I hope people aren’t leaving comments like that just because they think I’ll cry if I don’t get enough comments.
I don’t know how you would have time to write as much as you do, read blogs, have a life AND respond to every comment you get. You may not think you’re one of the “popular” blogs, but YOU ARE. And the only reason you have entries with a small number of comments is because the rest of us mere mortals can’t keep up with you!
I’m not a blogger, but I read about 50 to 60 sites–I get the content through my feed-reeder but I usually click through. I comment probably 10% of the time (I try not to be a serial lurker) and have gotten actual direct responses from a very small handful (maybe three or four?). It doesn’t offend me in the slightest, really. Though when I do get a response, it makes me happy :).
What a great post. I love ones like this…even if MrZ doesn’t!
1- I admit that as a fresh new blogger (years ago!) I would get offended. But then I realized it’s almost impossible, as a blogger, to spend all your time responding to comments. That being said, if I do leave a question comment, or something like that, I would appreciate a response. But dude, it’s not required and I wouldn’t get offended if I didn’t get one…I’d just appreciate one.
2- I totally spent the majority of my “blogging time” writing on my own blog. A small amount of time is spent responding to comments (I used to respond to EVERY SINGLE COMMENT, but can’t do that anymore). I spend most of my internet time just e-mailing with my online friends!
3- I would never have even thought about rating my comments. Mostly I’m just glad that someone is interested enough to leave a comment. So yeah, comment!
(I don’t like bloggers responding to comments in the comments as I NEVER go back to read comments.)
I don’t care at all if people don’t reply to my comment. To me that seems like sending a thank you for a thank you card.
I would much rather they spend their time reading MY blog and commenting there!
1. Does not offend me unless I ask a specific question. But when I am asked a question I do try to respond back to that person.
2. I only coment on others blogs when I feel like. I don’t make a point to routinely do it. I try and post to my blog about once a day.
3. I like all the comments I get, but I don’t really rate them. I just enjoy them.
Dear zoot,
Delurking to comment on your question. I’m a non-blogger and for me, new content is more interesting than comments. I only read about 7 different blogs and I follow them like some people follow soap operas on TV. I only read through the comments if the responses are to a question asked in the entry and I’m interested in the answers. So I would rate question 1 as a 1- not offended. However, there have been two occasions where I have emailed the blogger directly (instead of posing a question in comments) in anticipation of a response. I got a response to one of them and really appreciated the effort.
I really enjoy your stories and I can always count on you to have new entries. The Blog More month (I can’t rememebr the acronym) was great because there was always something new to read! I guess you just have a different blogging philosophy than others - more entry focused than response focus. It shows you have a different motivation for blogging, which is update driven for family and friends. I like it, which is why I keep coming back. Keep up the good work!
1) I’d say it depends. Is the blogger I left a comment for responding to other people’s comments in the comment stream? If so, then, yes. I’d feel unworthy of a response.
2) 50% writing, 35% commenting, 15% responding. Does that even add up to 100%? I suck at math.
3) I don’t think of myself as someone who just wants comments no matter what they say, but I don’t rate what people comment because I know it took an effort to click out the reader and put some sort of thought together. I’m glad they took this time to show me they cared enough to say something.
Overall, it really depends on the situation. Blogs that get over 200 comments per post I’m less likely to comment on (unless it’s big news like an engagement, pregnancy, or birth) because I know I wouldn’t be getting anything back. No one has that kind of time. However, it really makes me smile when I do get something back — from anyone — even if it is just a ‘Thank you’. So I try to do that for my commenters.
1) It would kind of depend. If I were going to be offended, I’d have to take things into consideration, like - am I the only person not receiving a response? If so, why? Is it because my comment was lame? Maybe because I’m new to this person’s blog? Maybe because I smell funny?
I often find myself trying to leave something witty or funny and then go back five minutes later, find out that my comment was the mark of a total doofus, and unable to delete it. So, no, I’m not easily offended if my comments are not replied to. Then again, I don’t leave as many as I probably should, judging by your post.
So, the numerical response being maybe a 2.5.
2) Um…darn it, I have no pie graph thingamy. I don’t spend a whole lot of time commenting on other people’s blogs, because as I mentioned above, I have Teh Fear of Teh Lame. When a reply is easy, like a sincere “Congratulations!” or replying to direct questions such as with this entry, then I can spend all day commenting if I’ve got the time.
Replying to emails and comments on my own blog doesn’t take much time because I don’t get very much of either, but I do reply to everything that isn’t spam.
Writing my blog absolutely takes up the most time.
3) I don’t rate the comments on my blog, I’m happy to get what I get. Maybe someone who leaves a one word reply, like “Funny!” or “LOL” wants to make their presense/response known, but, like me, has Teh Fear of Teh Lame. On the other hand, I have deleted one or two comments like that because it seemed obvious to me that they were just doing it for the linkback to their own spamblog/advertising thingy/whatever. If the link went back to a legitimate blog then I would leave it, though.
1. In my early days of blogging, I commented a lot. I was searching for some recognition of belonging to the blogosphere. It thrilled me when I got a comment back on my blog from the blogger or an email response. After the initial contact, I did not expect anything more from the contact. It was more of an introduction and I felt that if I liked what I read, I’d be back and likewise.
2. It is hard to put percentages on the time that I spend on each activity. It all depends upon what responses I get. I don’t have nearly as many readers/comments as you so it is easy to respond to the new faces in the crowd. I do try to click over and see their blog. I will either email back or post a comment on their blog as a way of recognizing them reaching out (de-lurking). As for my regular reader/comments, I generally read them on bloglines, and rarely post a comment (as I often read from work). I do respond to a lot of the email notifications of comments though.
3. I don’t consciously “rate” my comments, but I guess I do take them with a grain of salt. I tend to expose a lot of my deep thoughts on my blog and so I am sensitive about the feedback. There are a few of my regular readers that have had a similar loss (my husband died last year) whose comments tend to speak to me better than others. In that sense, I suppose I rank them up at the top of the others. I have only felt the need to delete one comment (that was really rude and uncalled for) in the couple of years that I have been blogging.
* I have also deleted blog entries, or written them and not posted until I knew they’d only be discovered by my serious readers (who usually see it by subscribing to my feed).