I’ve been reading a LOT lately. I’ve got an entire post to write about how awesome that is, having stepped away from books for years. But this morning? Not so awesome. Some late-night reading on the couch had me wake up to the workings of a freaking killer neck-cramp induced headache. I tried to work it out just by getting up and moving and eating breakfast, but it was getting worse. I took some Tylenol before taking LilZ to school and came back home hoping to GOD that NikkiZ would be gentle with me while I waited/prayed/made small animal sacrifices for the Tylenol to start working.

She is now watching her third episode of Dora and my headache is finally going away.

She never just watches TV quietly while I’m in another room. NEVER. But she is now curled up on my bed watching Dora, only yelling when an episode ends and she wants another one to start. Which is when I get off the couch and start a new one. I’m thinking I wont start the next one because I’m feeling much better, but I just wanted to take the moments of peace to pop in and say:

What has possessed my child and how can I pay the culprit/demon/drug to do it every day FOREVER?

The only “belly shot” I’ve taken that doesn’t make me want to shoot myself.

Okay. I started an entry where I wrote about my YELLING! as a response to my misbehaving kids. And I don’t just mean raising my voice a notch louder. I mean, YELLING. As in - if I did it for a sustained length of time I’d lose my voice. If you’re not a yeller, you probably don’t know the difference, but if you are, then you know exactly that line I’m talking about. The entry babbled on and on about how I’m an instinctive yeller and that I have tried to change that the last 13 years of being a mother because as a child - I hated being yelled at. I mean - I hated it. Nothing would bring me to tears quicker than being yelled at. Which is why it’s pretty stupid that I fell back on it so naturally as a Mom.

But then I thought - before I hash out this topic in my own life - I’d love to get feedback about it first. I’ll admit, the thought crossed my mind that YELLING may be like spanking and something no one does anymore. (If so? The child-Zoot is grateful.) I mean - people talk about the anti-spanking shift in parenting all the time. But what about the YELLING? How does the typical Mom (or Dad) feel about that? I feel like my readership is a very normal set of people. I don’t attract a lot of extremes. No one attacks me for using disposable diapers and no one attacks commenters who don’t nurse they’re kids. So - I thought you all would be the best audience to field test this topic.

I’ll admit it. I’m extremely embarrassed about my YELLING. Seriously. It’s not pretty. When I yell…my kids cry. Period. End of story. LilZ had it a lot worse because I had to re-train my odd instincts (WHY was that an instinct?) - and I’ll always carry the visions of bringing him to tears with my voice around in my nightmares. I’m almost ashamed to admit that. But - it’s not something NikkiZ has been spared either. THE YELL. It comes out of me sometimes. And I wish it didn’t.

So - I want to feel you guys out before I bare my crappy-parenting soul to the world. Mainly because I’m not sure what the world thinks about this topic. It may be the one parenting topic nineteen million people haven’t written about already.

Remember: YELLING. Not simply raising your voice. I don’t know how to spell out the difference, but if you’ve YELLED, you know it.

Also Remember: I’m embarrassed about a lot of these things. SERIOUSLY. Please don’t judge me. And if you fear judgment on your responses - feel free to be anonymous.

1. How did you feel about getting YELLED at as a kid? Did it traumatize anyone as much as it did me or am I a giant wuss?

2. Do you YELL as a parent? How often does it happen? Or maybe - how bad does the crime have to be to warrant a YELL? I’ll admit, I used to be a frequent YELLER.

3. How do you feel after you YELL? Does it make your kids cry? If it does - do you feel like a total asshole like I do? Do you apologize later? Or do you just consider: Mission Accomplished. (Because sometimes I’m angry enough to feel the latter. I’ll admit.)

4. Do you think YELLING is not a big deal at all and trying to not YELL is one of the many ways we’re over-pampering our kids? Because sometimes I wonder that too. Am I babying my kids too much by trying to spare their feelings when their in trouble? I mean, shouldn’t they be upset if they’re in trouble? Isn’t that the point?

Fluid Pudding wrote an entry here and here about the challenge of putting your life into six words. I read the entries this morning and haven’t stopped thinking about this all day. I can not come up with one set of six words. Not that this should surprise anyone, this is my fourth blog entry of the day. So - here are a few I’ve come up with. I would love, love, LOVE to hear yours. It’s a tough challenge that I obviously failed since I did it several times instead of the required once. But still! FUN!

Wears Granny Panties and Trips Often.

Mother Who Can’t Cook or Sew.

Severe Guilt Complex and Pen Addiction.

Hates to Shower, Loves to Laugh.

Liberal Southerner With Really Curly Hair.

I was going to share out Marilyn’s latest entry about importing your Google Reader feeds but then I realized I already had one of her shared entries on my sidebar. I didn’t want to look too much like a stalker, so I’ve opted instead to write a blog entry about it. I mean, if I’m going to stalk someone, I should at least do it with variety. Am I Right?

My Links page was a manual creation that I had only updated a few times in the four years I’ve been blogging. I was almost embarrassed by it because I subscribed to so many blogs that weren’t on the list and I stopped reading several of the blogs on the list ages ago. But, to change it would be a big PAIN IN MY ASS. And I’m not a big fan of pains in my ass, in case you were wondering. So - it has stayed neglected and untrue.

UNTIL TODAY.

I imported all of my Google Subscriptions into my new and improved links page. I only had to do a little bit of editing, mainly to remove the TV sites I subscribe to since they don’t relate to this blog, and of course to add the one blogger not on my Google Feeds because I don’t think Diaryland does feeds, but other than that? VERY EASY.

(How much time do you think will pass before someone emails me about finding a Diaryland feed and I feel really stupid for not having found it before? I say five minutes.)

I only wish it would update automatically. I add subscriptions to my Google Reader weekly, so after about two weeks the page will go back to being out of date. But - along with getting better at replying to comments (Have you noticed? I’ve gotten better!) I’m going to try to be better about keeping that page updated. I may be crappy about commenting on blogs, but I would like people to at least have a way of knowing I’m there lurking in the shadows. Possibly naked.

I sat down awhile ago to write an entry about some of the cute things my daughter has been doing lately. However, the only way she’ll allow this is by doing the not-so-cute thing of sitting in my lap and playing with her large microwave (One Quarter! At a yard sale Saturday! We’re so awesome!) placed between my chest and the keyboard. So, I’m currently typing with my arms wrapped around her and the microwave. I’m thinking that if typing tests were given in these conditions, results would be quite different. I am suddenly realizing how many keys I don’t know the placement of by heart since I can’t see the keyboard. I looked down to find the hyphen key and all I could see was a princess cup twirling on a rotating dish.

Not only is this physically complicating the blogging process - I mean, my arms are kinda short - it’s also trying on my mental translation of the words in the brain to the words on the screen. I’m trying to write about her new obsession with birthdays but all I can hear is this electronic voice saying, “Soup’s Ready! Be careful. It might be hot.” So - of course - instead of NikkiZ obsession about months, my words on the screen now tell me she’s obsessing about soup. And that’s not true at all.

So - I’ve opted to save the other entry for a time when I have more control over my blogging environment and instead use this opportunity to tell all of you women who have been blogging like this for ages longer than I have - THAT YOU ARE AMAZING.

That is all.