Why Can’t I Get Injured Doing Something COOL?

MrZ has had many sports-related injuries in his life. As an adult who doesn’t participate in organized sports, his injuries always relate to working out or running. BUT STILL. That’s a good way to get an injury, right? I mean – if you’re limping because of shin splints when you ran a 10K the other day…everyone understands. If you have to get a steroid shot because you pulled a muscle in your neck when you were working out – – that’s damn cool. But somehow, when you’re walking around with a stiff neck because you coughed too hard, you are officially the biggest dork on the planet.

It is only second to that time I strained a muscle reaching for a Kleenex. That was my finest injury ever.

I have more range this morning than I did last night, but seriously? I need a good cause of my injury. I refuse to tell people who say, “Did you hurt your neck?” that I did it by coughing. I’m thinking that it was a mountain biking incident. Except I don’t own a mountain bike. Or maybe I injured it rescuing small kittens from a quick flooding sewage drain? OR MAYBE…I chased down a guy who mugged MrZ and when I tackled him to the ground to get MrZ’s wallet back, I strained my neck. I like that one! Not only am I cool – – but MrZ is the damsel in distress! LOVE IT!

26 Comments

26 thoughts on “Why Can’t I Get Injured Doing Something COOL?”

  1. I had to go to the emergency room because I leaned over to pick up a two inch clay pot which weighed only ounces. I understand completely. At least you didn’t pee your pants at the same time! :)

  2. I have broken my rib twice from coughing. One of those times was just a couple of weeks ago, so yep, still broken. Try explaining that one. People think you are insane! :)

  3. When I was pregnant with Fuller (around seven months I think?), I leaned over my husband to give him a kiss. And a pulled a muscle on top of my belly. Yes, kissing my husband pulled a muscle. And it was PAINFUL. So, I feel for you. Get better soon!

  4. I pulled a muscle in my neck falling off a bed. It was Christmas eve and I spent the next week in a neck brace. (Merry Christmas to me.)

  5. I gave myself whiplash at work. I walked into the open door of the microwave that sits on top of the fridge.
    and
    I broke 2 toes getting off the couch, my toes got caught in the afghan
    and
    dislocated my knee stepping off the front stoop
    surprisingly I have never broken a bone….yet
    hope you feel better soon!

  6. I threw out my back while brushing my teeth and have dislocated my knee on various occasions by rolling over in bed, stretching, and adjusting my position while sitting on the couch (I have very bad knees). Talk to me when you’ve got a TRUE dork injury. ;)

  7. I pulled my back and couldn’t move from my couch for a week. How did I do this? I bent down to snuggle my cat. I know how you feel. :)

  8. I had a work related injury. I hurt my back reading!(slouching down in the chair) I had trouble walking for days.

  9. Hmm… when I was a teenager I was on the dock at the lake waiting for my dad to come back in from fishing and I looked up in the sky to see hundreds of whirling bats! I took off running towards the house… up the steps of the dock and on the last step, bammmmmmmm! Broke my big toe!

    Oh… and I was planting flowers on the front wall, kinda straddling and one foot slipped off the wall and down I went… hitting my umm… hoo hoo… not nice! (explain that one… LOL)

  10. Been there, done that! Strained my neck while SLEEPING. Pulled something in my stomach while sneezing. Broke my toe walking into my bedroom, stubbing it on the bench at the end of the bed.

  11. I didn’t hurt my neck coughing, but I totally woke up with a stiff neck this morning. I couldn’t turn my head at all. It still hurts. I wonder if I’m having sympathetic stiff neck or something.

  12. I’ve never had that happen… but in the past, if I’ve turned my head to the side too quickly, it will POP and then there will be a really hot, painful sensation for a while. Like, REALLY painful. Not fun.

  13. Long-time lurker first-time commenter….
    I had the whooping cough last year and broke two ribs coughing. Yeah, not fun.

  14. I hurt my back last year just getting dressed. Like my friend Heather said, you know you are old when you have a “dressing injury!” I feel your pain, sister.

  15. I sprained my ankle getting out of bed! My leg was asleep and when I put my weight on it my ankle bent totally sideways and I fell on top of it! Swelled to the size of a grapefruit, purple, was on crutches for 2 weeks, sucked big time! What was worse was telling the story of how I did it to anyone on campus who asked. Yeah, I was the dork who sprained her ankle getting out of bed to go to biology lecture!

  16. Now I know I’m not alone…I also pulled a muscle in my neck brushing my hair. April is the cruelest month… of strange neck injuries.

  17. hows this for a dork injury– i broke my toe by stubbing it on my moms shoe, i dislocated my knee from turning around, i was standing next to my couch and turned the upper part of my body and my knee cap dislocated. and the best one—– i broke my foot how you ask??? by a frozen turkey that fell on it yes thats right a frozen turkey jumped out of my freezer took aim and landed on my foot.

  18. I actually pulled a muscle in my neck this morning while brushing my hair!!! I cant turn to the right.

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