Bullets of Insanity
- My teenage son is writing a book. He gave us Chapter One to read last night and MrZ and I looked at each other with that look all parents eventually make. It’s the look that says, This kid is officially cooler than me.
- Why am I so sad about not being included at AllTop Moms page? Every day I see another blogger I read on that list and yet I am not. I don’t think I would normally care, except that The Bloggess made some totally kick-ass buttons for the recognition. My favorite? “ALLTOP: It’s not gay porn.” Think I could just put the button on my site anyway? Because it’s funny?
- Speaking of The Bloggess, did you see her candidate breakdown on Momocrats? Best line: “Hillary. I bet she gives really bad blow jobs.”
- Speaking of blow jobs…(just kidding, Mom! Dad! I promise!)
- Since we can’t really find a place in the budget right now for maternity photos, and since I’m afraid this may be my last chance to document how much I resemble a whale when gestating, we’ve decided we’ll do it ourselves. LilZ is going to use my camera to photograph NikkiZ fingerpainting my belly. Isn’t that the best idea EVER?. Of course, he’s going to charge me $1000, but it’s totally worth it.
- I manage to spill diet coke on my ass this morning. If you don’t follow me on Twitter, you may not understand how this is possible. Suffice it to say: I Am One Skilled Klutz.
- (Dude. Did I use “suffice it to say” right? If not…hurry and email me so I can delete that bullet before anyone points out the error in the comments.)
- I went out and bought a new shower-curtain liner this weekend instead of fighting with cleaning the old one. This takes me to new reaches of LAZY and WASTEFUL and REALLY LAZY. My parents are proud.
- It only took 2 days after activating my son’s old cell phone under my number for me to find my lost phone. It doesn’t matter too much since it never recovered from the cough syrup spill of 2008, but still. We looked for that thing for weeks. I’m not naming my kid after St. Anthony anymore.
- (Am I the only recovering Catholic to ever promise St. Anthony you’d name a kid after him if he helped you find something you lost? I am? Oh. Okay. Forget that reference on the last bullet then.)
- (Come on! None of you said the St. Anthony, St. Anthony / Please come down / Something is lost / And can’t be found prayer? REALLY?)
- Anyway…The 12-year-old in me giggled non-stop when someone shared a link to this product through Google Reader. Do you get it? GROW BALL? As in, it could help you GROW BALLS? HA!
- Oh, goodness. If there is any need for proof that this pregnancy has caused me to lose my mind completely – it is written in black and white in this nice bulleted list for the world to see. The End.
Updated To Add – You know what I say? I say who needs AllTop? And you know why I can say that? Because The Bloggess made me my own damn button. And I have to agree. I am totally better than gay porn. You can ask my husband. He totally agreed after only a few seconds of consideration.
Please note: If you do not agree that I am better than gay porn, I will not be offended. I am fully supportive of those who love gay porn more than this website.
Dude, I wish I lived closer, I’d TOTALLY do your maternity photos! I’m doing some next weekend for my friend that got married last September
Oh, and I responded to your twitter about the diet coke…do you use Twitbin?
I *think* it would be “suffice to say…” without the “it” in there, but I could be wrong. I’ve been wrong before.
I think that you guys taking the maternity shots is a fantastic idea!!
I want to write a book too!! that is awesome.
The only way the shower liner gets clean in my house is if I buy a new one. Actually we use that sprayer thing that hangs in the shower and when you get out, you press a button and it sprays the shower down. I kinda love it.
I say that prayer to St. Anthony ALL THE TIME and I always find what I’m looking for….
I definitely say that St. Anthony prayer all the time, too!
I say suffice it to say, myself, but have been told it’s “sufficeS to say” (which is supposedly short for “it suffices to say” – thank you Google).
I ALWAYS throw away the shower liners and get new ones. Seriously…they get all moldy and crap. Who wants to mess with that??
Our version of the prayer to St. Anthony was “Tony, Tony, please look around; something’s lost that can’t be found”.
Maybe that’s why I’ve never found my diamond earring – I should never have called him by his nickname!
At least the $1,000 would stay in the family. I think having NikkiZ finger paint on your belly is an awesome idea.
People actually clean shower curtains? Are you pulling my leg?
I was a former Catholic schoold girl, so I know that prayer well. It never helped me find what I lost, but it made me feel better.
Dude, your son is writing a BOOK. AND he’s a photographer. Is there no end to his awesomeness?
I say, “St. Anthony, St. Anthony, look all around. Something is lost and it must be found.” Oh, and I also cross myself and say the whole “in the name of the Father….” shpeell. Haven’t been to Mass in years, and Big A has never failed me yet.
Wait. People actually CLEAN shower curtain liners? Who? Where?
Gotta agree with all your other commenters. Throwing out the old shower liner and bringing in a new one is *not* lazy. I’m pretty sure that’s how you clean them
(At least, it’s how *I* clean them)
Already been said but I throw the shower curtain liners out, too. There is no telling what trying to clean mold could do to your health.
LilZ is the coolest ever
I’m sure the maternity photos will be great 
I have something for you.
Email me.
I always say “suffice to say” but I don’t think thats correct. lol
You’re supposed to clean the shower curtain liner? Are they not disposable? I don’t think I have ever heard of someone cleaning their shower curtain liner before. It boggles my mind.
Hey, I’m just watching an old episode of Sex and the City and Carrie just said “Suffice to say!” haha.
(PS…I really don’t care whether you used it correctly or not, just since you brought it up its been in my head!)
Dude, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t mind the gay porn (I actually LIKE gay porn!), but it’s not everyday one is up for gay porn, you know? Zoot is more like *everyday*, and I save the gay porn for SPECIAL OCCASIONS!
Hehe..
The Alltop thing? Slightly bums me too, but don’t tell anyone please.
About the naming your child after St Anthony. I couldn’t find my keys – this baby was going to be named Antonia for about 2 hours last week. It is a catholic girl thing. It must be.
Ouch. I feel like that correcting you bullet was addressed to me. I tlreally thought I wascwrong about the soinso vs soandso. I meant no harm before, honest.
I love the fingerpainting idea!!! So cute! Can’t wait to see how it turns out!!!