You know - parents typically try NOT to openly compare and contrast their children in any way that risks sounding like Child A is/was better than Child B. But, I take pictures of my daughter pooping and post them to the internet with an angelic glow. I’m not trying to keep up a positive standard here.
I’ll be honest. I don’t remember a lot about LilZ’s youth. I have several reasons for this:
1) It was 10+ years ago. Give me a break. I’m old.
2) I was a very poor struggling college student. I was worried more about paying my utility bill than whether or not LilZ fit any sort of defined norm.
3) He was just a good kid. I didn’t have to do much. He was low-maintenance and laid-back. You remember more of the challenges and he wasn’t very challenging.
BUT - Number 3? Is something I’ve been thinking about quite a lot. I remember people telling me how lucky I was when LilZ was 2-3 because he was just so good. He was polite and followed the rules and just good-natured. I was harassed for not truly experiencing being a mother because I didn’t have to deal with the TERRIBLE TWOS.
OMG. Were those people right.
My daughter, on the other hand. Is evil in all forms. And this goes in two directions. She’s evil because she can just be mean and smack me in the face and yell, “Go Away!” to her Daddy and yell at her baby dolls. But - she can also be so intoxicatingly sweet and endearing you find yourself wondering what you did to deserve her affection. And she can do both in a span of TEN MINUTES.
I have truly loved this developmental age. NikkiZ learns something new every day. We have real conversations and she makes interesting and insightful observations. She’s developing a sense of humor and she really loves to play pretend.
But she also can NOT be reasoned with. There are times when I try to put her in timeout and she’ll point-blank yell, “No!” and swing at me. Or she’ll physically try to resist being put in the corner. I’ll try to get her to respond to my assurances that she understands the rules and she’ll look me in the eyes, turn her head, and walk away. Blatantly ignoring me.
So - even though this is my second child to turn two, this is my first time dealing with the fabled TERRIBLE TWOS. And so I ask you - does this end when she turns three? Please tell me they’re called “Terrible Twos” for a reason and that, by the time she turns three, the devil inside of her will start to disappear. If it doesn’t, and if I’m dealing with a baby becoming mobile AND an demon-possessed preschooler at the same time, I may need to call in reinforcements. Like, military backup or police squads. Because the we need brute force over here, people.
I hate to tell you this and just maybe (fingers crossed) your experience will be different, but for me the Terrible Twos was just preparation for the Tyrannical Threes. My son, now almost 12, was alot like LilZ, textbook kid, everything was relatively easy. Daughter, now 6, um, well, she is still my greatest challenge in life. Bless her heart, I know this strong personality will serve her well as a woman but she’s killing me! Now we are expecting #3 in December and I am hoping for somewhere in the middle with this one! I wish the same for you!
three has been MISERABLE around here. it was like beanie woke up the day after her birthday and decided it was time to start being rotton. or maybe she’s delayed in the terribles, i’m not sure, but *ugh* three. yuck.
My friend’s three kids were devil, angelic, and demonic. The first and second were in that bad stage from 2 to 5. For your sake, I hope AndyZ is the angelic type.
No. They don’t. I don’t even have kids…but from the ones I babysit? yeah…they don’t end. “Superheros don’t have to go to timeout” “your a butthole” this is from a 4 year old. and the nice ones. But other times? Just so sweet. I can’t wait to see what the 1 year old does now.
LilZ *was* a wonderful, sweet toddler. I have no memories of him during that time except being a.) giggly and happy; or b.) quiet and chilled out.
I think it has more to do with the child’s personality than their age. My older son was a dream, much like your Lilz….he was quiet, polite, never got in trouble, got good grades with no effort….the younger one…well, lets say if he had been born first he would have been an only child! He is stubborn, mouthy, fiercely independent, argumentative, moody…..as well as loveable, kind, smart, but easily distracted and it takes us h-o-u-r-s to get his homework done….
Hopefully AndyZ will have more of the laid back personality for you!
So funny - we are totally having one of “those” mornings here with Girl! Girl! is about ten months younger than NikkiZ and we have already hit that stage, and EVER SINGLE ONE OF MY “FRIENDS” say 2 is only the prep-course for 3. they are not my friends anymore becuase I called them all lying assholes than fled, and I am now living in a hole under the ground where I cannot be abused by my mean little donuts eating, water spitting, monster anymore
It’s only 835 here in MD, and I already need a drink. Oh I feel a long day ahead of me.
I don’t know, it reminds me of age fifteen.
Unfortunately, no. It doesn’t get better. However, I have noticed with my particular evil daughter (who is 3) that if I get just that frustrated and say something like - Can’t you just let me be your mother for ONCE in your life and decide what’s best for you?!? - she’ll look at me, give an angelic smile and go - Ok, mommy - and then happily do what we just spent 15 minutes arguing about.
So there is hope?
Hi, Zoot - same as what some of the other commenters have said, unfortunately we found out that 2 was nothing compared to the wrath of 3. Seriously, 2 was a cake walk compared to 3. We are a few months away from 4 and I am hoping it gets better!
I have to say though, as bad as 3 has been, it has also been awesome, so there is good and bad at every stage!!
Mine just turned one, but I’ve heard three is WORSE than two. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Let’s hope it’s not true.
HA just wait! I hate to say this but in my house the two’s are breezy. We call the three’s the Terrifying Threes!
At three they gain more indepedence. They are more verbal and POSSESSED!!!
Good Luck.
I don’t understand why they call them the Terrible Twos. Two was fun. Three is much worse. When they reach 3, you have all the problems of age 2, but now they have learned their own peculiar form of logic. And can articulate it much better. And you can’t win against their logic (here’s where “because I said so!” stats.)
I have no actual experience yet as my sons are only 2 and 6 months currently, but I have been warned that three is much worse. Lord, help us all.
My older daughter is 3 1/2 and lately this age has been so much worse than 2. (sorry to have to tell you that) She understands more and is a lot more verbal now, so the tantrums are more intense and she is a lot more stubborn now as well. At 2, I could redirect her pretty easily from things I didn’t want her to do, but at 3 I have had no luck with this. Just yesterday, she screamed alllllll the way through Target, into the parking lot, and all the way home… “I WANT A LOLLIPOP” over and over and over again b/c she saw a bag and I wouldn’t buy it. *sigh* I am very much looking forward to 4.
My daughter was a piece of cake until she hit 3. She’s still not as bad as I know some kids are, but it’s more challenging when you’re not used to your kid being evil now and then I guess…lol! But, we taught her your “when do you obey?” trick and that really has helped immensely. I pull that one out before I get too frustrated with her. I get the sigh and the pseudo eyeroll, but then she does what was asked of her. I can never thank you enough for writing about that.
Sorry to give you the bad news, but three was worse.
I hate to say it, but everyone above it right. My oldest daughter started the 2’s around 3 and its still going strong at 8. She is opinionated (which is sometimes okay), bossy, moody, sassy, grouchy, and much more. Its like PMS with a tween 24/7.
I know you are crying by now, but I have to agree with the rest of the commenters.
Three is worse.
I say around 4 is when it starts to get a little easier, but if it makes you feel any better my third child was the perfect baby. Although I guess she really didn’t have much choice because I already had a 2.5 year old and an 11 month old who cried about 20 hours a day.
You get a slight break usually following the terrible two’s, but I think that may just be to set you up for when the terrible three’s start. Three is harder than two, for us, at least.
I havent’ really read the other comments, just scanned them, but I had to comment and say… yeah…. three is worse than two. In fact, Harry was my laid back child and I remember feeling rather smug when he was two because he was so easy. Then he turned three. Now, he was still comparatively easy. But for him? It was a big difference. I dread Liam turning three a lot more than I dread two. So… yeah.
Just buy beer. Lots and lots of beer.
maybe, just maybe NikkiZ is mature for her age and you are getting the worst of the worst now instead of later! I will keep my fingers crossed for you!!!
I’m in the same boat as a lot of the other moms, with all 4 of my children, age 3 was far worse than age 2. Then age 4 they begin to chill out some.
ummm….three was so much worse than two because they can talk more and make more decisions. I wasn’t sure my daughter would make it to 4. I also work in a daycare and let me tell you we have a little girl that is about to turn three that I pray she will stay home some days.
Please be careful about letting her hit you because it may be cute now but it’s so hard to get them to stop as they get older. We’ve found this out the hard way.
Good luck and lots of hugs.
Um…yeah, sure, it ends when they turn 3. *crossing fingers behind back*
With my kids, honestly, it intensified. I’m just starting to get my oldest daughter back from the insanity and she’s 8. But maybe that’s just her.
Another one with bad news. 3 is worse than 2, by far. There was a stretch of time that I could not STAND my 4 year old last year. She was rotten and very difficult. I was sad because I missed her sweetness and wanted it back. BUT! The good news is that 4 is much better. And really, the entire 3rd year may not be awful. My daughter went through periods of a couple months of possession. Then she’d be ‘normal’, than awful, then normal, etc. But now she has her moments but overall she’s sweet and enjoyable again.
And she is my youngest of 4. So, after all of them, I can say with assuredness that you are in for a rough year. A newborn and a 3 year old. I don’t envy you!! And am sorry to have to tell you but, boys at 3 are soooo much worse than girls at 3. (Lordy!!) So, yeah, have fun!! LOL
I am dealing with the terrible two’s for the first time as well, and since next year I’ll have a 3 year old AND a 2 year old, please tell me it gets better! I swear my oldest was the nicest boy until he hit 20 months, then a demon child started to appear! 90% of the time he’s still perfectly wonderful, then the other 10% I just want to pull my hair out. And then there’s my younger son, who’s 18 months younger than big bro, but is fearless to the point of causing mommy to need anxiety drugs and stubborn beyond belief! If I survive the next 2-3 years, I’ll be plum amazed!
So, what I’m saying is that I’ll be dealing with what you have at the same time! I’m just praying that they don’t team up against me too much!
It’s been a very long time for me but I guess 3 was worse than 2 but it was also so very much better. My favorite years with the kids are once they are really talking and able to communicate. The hardest thing for me was adjusting to the fact that the tactics that worked with my first child did not work with the 2nd even though he was the more easygoing one, he could not be reasoned with when he got his mind set on something.
Oh, great.
My boyfriend has twins - soon to be three. I am barely hanging on as it is (I never wanted kids, now it looks like I’ll be a step mom to FOUR of them).
Interestingly, the boy is adorable, and the girl is pure evil….
i’ve always heard that the 3’s are worse than the 2’s. for your sake, i will hope this is not the case.
also, i think amalah might have a good book or something (non-assviceish) about how to get your kid to stop hitting you…i think i remember her going through a phase like this…
We had four. My motto now is “Crush them while they’re young.”
3 was pretty bad, as I recall; as bad as or worse than 2. 4 was better, except that you’re so relieved that they finally SEEM rational that you forget they are 4, and then they do something outrageous. At 5 they get giggly and annoying. 6 to 11 were by and large the easiest years. Our general rule seemed to be that odd years were harder than even years.
It doesn’t get any better. It is all down hill from now Zoot. Sorry =) My boy was laid back and I never had any trouble out of him - but Ryleigh is a whole other story. she is demanding, whiney and a diva. But I love her more than life itself.
The threes depend on how you handle the twos. Like….time out is not negotiable.
I think I have now been cured of any desire to have children
doooooode i know i say it all the time but take yours times three! all of my 2 1/2 yr olds do that bipolar giddy/angry thing. i have a theory that being a kid is like tripping on acid for years so nothing really makes sense from the outside looking in.
No, dear, three’s are way worse..way way way worse. Sorry!