LilZ was born a million years ago when I was a very naive teenager who didn’t realize her memory would fade with the years. In other words? I have very little memory of the birth process itself. I mean – he came out the normal way after 17+ hours of labor – that much I remember. But the details and the feelings? Have kinda faded. Too bad I wasn’t blogging then.
NikkiZ, while more recent, is still just as faded. If not more so. If you were around here during that time, you know I did a series of blog posts (first one here) doing a play-by-play of the induction process. Up until things went horribly awry and I ended up being wheeled into the OR while crying for my husband fearing for our daughter’s life. IT WAS AWESOME. But – the point? I had been up all night (blogging…of course) and then was cut open and operated on and doped up with morphine. It created quite a haze for my daughter to be born into and I remember very little of it. I read the entries and the birth story and think, “Hmm. Funny. I don’t remember that.”
This time? I’m praying I will walk away with a very clear memory of the events leading up to my son’s birth. I plan on sleeping the night before (even if it requires someone bashing me on the head to knock me out) and I plan on documenting everything either digitally or with pen and paper as it goes on. I have been approaching this entire pregnancy as though it is going to be my last. Partly because we have that nasty habit of repeat miscarriages, but also because we’re not positive we are going to have anymore. So, I really want to make sure I have a good record of what happens the day this child is born. I want at least one of my kids to have the gift of their Mom’s sober and clear memory of their birth.
Or maybe I’ll just ask for the morphine early and just sleep through the entire thing.