I was recently telling someone that one of the best things about MrZ and I as a couple, is that we have a few things in common that we didn’t know about at first. And while we didn’t look for those common grounds before we were living together, they have proved to be quite important and I often wonder what happens to couples who find they don’t share the same viewpoints on these issues. Does it become permanent a point of contention? Like my avoidance of left turns?
For example, we’re both punctual. Now, it is more difficult with two kids in tow and we’re re-establishing how long it takes to get ready. But - typically? We’re early. We aim for early. We aim for early because we fear those things that pop up unexpectedly and slow a person down. Like traffic. Or leaking diapers. Or a return trip home to get that one thing we forgot. We allow time for all of those instances and since they usually don’t happen? We’re usually early.
The other is that we both have a high tolerance for germs. This means we don’t think each other gross for not freaking out about possible contamination. This comes up a lot with the dogs, as they’re kinda gross too. But - the time this seems to be the most important is when sharing salsa. I have to tell you: We are a family of double dippers. Now, some of us are old enough to curb that when sharing salsa with others, but as a family? We don’t care. We just double-dip to our heart’s content. I’ve seen WARS breakout at tables over this issue…but at ours? Not so much. We don’t even think about it. (I do, however, prefer MrZ not just assume I want the been dip to mix with the salsa, I HATE THAT.)
The last one, and at times what I consider to be the most important of the three, is that we both are kinda disgusting. Or maybe I should phrase that differently? We both have a high tolerance for the Ick Factor. Case and Point: Last night AndyZ had a small bit of pee escape his diaper (Damn when I forget to point it DOWN and the pee comes out of the top of his diaper!) and get on our bed. It was bedtime and I was tired and MrZ said, “So, what are we going to do about this pee?” To which I replied, “Nothing. It’s on my side of the bed and considering most nights I end up covered in either spit-up or breast milk, I’m not going to worry about. This is the weekend I wash the sheets anyway.” Did he cringe at the idea of leaving it? No. Did he cringe at the idea of me sleeping in spit-up some nights? No. He just shrugged, “Okay,” and proceeded to go to sleep.
Then, a few minutes later? AndyZ spit-up all over MrZ and his side of the comforter. This time we blotted it up so it would at least be dry and proceeded to go to sleep. Neither one of us giving it another thought.
Maybe I’ve discovered the secret to our happy marriage. Be on time. And gross.
I think your being realistic. Life = ickiness and germs. Mind you my hub has never seen a small baby nappy blow out. Y’know the type when it shoots up the back, down the legs, cover the crib bedding etc. Hee hee, when his new nephew is born I am totally going to make my sister in law ask him to change his nappy. New life experience = character building me’thinks.
Germs - if they don’t kill you they make you stronger. I am sure my family is so strong they could rival a super hero. As for double dipping, triple dipping or even scooping up the bits of dip from the edge of the bowl to eat all because it is just too good to not eat. You are welcome to eat at our house at any time, particularly as we are fans of being on the early side of on time too!
I’m chronically early.
I’m a double dipper only with people whom I know or with whom I am comfortalbe.
I have high ick tolerance.
Can I be your new BFF?
This is brilliant, and sounds just like I imagine my husband and I will be. It’s the only way to survive.
We’re the table with the double dip war. I can’t stand it. Mostly because I figure if we let the kids do it with us they won’t know any better. I don’t want some family or date thinking they have no manners later on. It was a hard habit to break when I learned it as a teen. My parents never cared to tell us. I think it’s fairly important to be compatible on the issues you brought up. Otherwise, someone is going to be upset all the time.
On a non-germ relate topic, I LOVE YOUR BLOG! I know you have been nominated earlier today (and probably a bazillion other times too) but I was asked to nominate my favourite blogs and you are at the top of the list. Anyway, I have nominated you for an award, and if you would like to have a look I have written a post on it over at my blog.
you guys are perfect together!!
This is where I bring up the subject of farting. It was about a year into dating Thom that he decided he would no longer hold them in. And OH MY GOD did he ever make up for lost time. So about 6 months after that I caved and joined him. And we haven’t looked back. Only now I feel like it’s just one of many things that has killed the romance in our relationship. And how are we supposed to make a baby if we aren’t feeling romantic enough to have the sex?
So I told him the other day that we should stop farting around each other. We must go out of earshot if we have to do it. It’s not an easy habit to break let me tell you. I have slipped up twice already. But I think it’s best. I needed to work on my manners anyways.
(I’m just glad I have my own office. holla!)
I never understood families that DON’T double-dip. Or share drinking glasses. I mean, if one person is actually sick, then it’s kind of icky. But ordinarily, you guys are all living in such close quarters anyway that why wouldn’t you double dip. And if it is just you and your partner, I’m going to assume you’re swapping the spit other ways anyway.
Hmmmm, I had always assumed the Double Dip Rule was nullified amongst families. I guess we are just as gross as you then.
When it comes to our family, our Ick Factor is pretty low, too. We are always hugging and kissing anyway, germs are going to have their way with us.
And pee? Is STERILE. If pee lets loose in the middle of the night, I cover that stuff up with a towel and go back to sleep. Sleep is PRECIOUS and should not be messed with.
Sadly, Manoj and I are both Mad Dash sorta folks, so we are usually late.
I presume double dipping is when you dip a crisp or potatoe chip into the salsa/humous take a bite and put the remaining chip into the dip? Sorry for being slow. Double dipping doesn’t come up much in polite converstion in the UK. Hope I’m not guilty of it as it seems frowned apon. wonder if Emily Post mentions it?
I have been known to put chips (fries to you) inside two slices of buttered bread add ketchup and make a delectable chip butty. Mmmm gourmet foooood
We’re both pretty gross too.
Double dipping rules (how else are you going to maximize your dip enjoyment? You could potentially run out of chips before you run out of dip!). And you just can’t have a baby and get weirded out by pee and spitup. You just CAN’T. Kile is probably more grossed out by it than I am, at least during the daylight hours. But I don’t even bat an eyelash anymore. He doesn’t really CARE but he does want a blanket asap to wipe it up. Whereas I’m not going to necessesarily drop the baby in order to clean myself. (not saying that he will… where am I going with this again??)
I just wish he wanted to be on time too. Because that’s a big THING with me. And I’m apparently the ONLY person in this family that cares if we’re late. And that sucks.
We’re the same way - like to think that Mr. E and I are just good at not sweating the small stuff. Mainly because we’re too tired and don’t have the time to care.
Although I am obsessed with all the darn dog hair in my house, we are the total opposite of germophobes.
Someone just left me a comment that germs were flying out of the toilet in my bathroom and landing on my toothbrush left out on the counter, and I just thought “Eh.” We all need germs to survive, right?
Now these are the things they need to tell young people before they decide to live with someone forever. Zoot’s real life quiz: Does this gross you out? How do you feel about germs? etc.
DH and I are totally comfortable around each other, nothing much grosses either of us out. The only problem we’ve had lately is DH taught DD how to burp loudly. So she does it wherever she is. Hearing a six year old burp like a man isn’t really appropriate. But at home, the two of them are almost challenging each other. I can’t wait to tell that story when she’s sixteen.
We’re pretty much gross right along with you though. At the end of the day I don’t really care though, as long as the kitchen is clean. Everything else I just ignore, and hope it will go away.
YES, I totally agree it’s good to match. Like, I think it’s okay to be GROSS-TOLERANT or NON-GROSS-TOLERANT, but that happiness comes from being THE SAME: either both shrugging about the sheets or both jumping up to change them together.
Double dipping among immediate family? Not a biggie.
And pee? It is sterilized right? So, I figure no poop no loss of sleep.
What are you speaking on at the Nashville blogher?
Yay! I don’t feel as gross now! I admit, my son peed on the bed (still not sure how, since I pointed it down) but I just plopped a towel down and slept on it, lol.
Usually the baby stays way more clean then I do.
H is much more easily icked-out than I am and he’s passed it on to Scout. It leaves me changing a lot of poopy diapers and other icky things. On the other side of the coin: his tolerance for something being messy is lower than mine so I get to be lazy on those things (dishwasher, vacuuming, etc.).
maybe the secret to marriage is just being with someone who is cool with your weird double dipping gross ness….
Carissa –
The first morning after the first “date” with my now-husband, he got out of bed buck naked and audibly FARTED on his way to the bathroom to take a shower. I was horrified, yet at the same time, I knew at that insane moment that I was the one.
That was 21 1/2 years ago. We’ve been married 14 1/2 years and have a 9 1/2 year old son.
Sigh. What a dreamboat.
L