The Good Daughter

Singing to AndyZ
They’re singing AndyZ to sleep. It didn’t work. Go figure.

We hung out with Aardvarks last night and it was loads of fun. I was worried because NikkiZ can be – well – kinda evil at times. She’s not keen on sharing and she likes to yell at people and throw things in frustration. Or – at least she does that at our house to us. She’s even quite abusive with LilZ at times – I think because she knows he won’t fight back. (Whereas I’ll chase her around the house with a whip.) (Kidding.) (But it does give me an idea…)

But at Scout’s house? She was perfect. She shared and was sweet and loving and was simply a perfect angel. No whining, no fits, no snotty yells, “No!” when I ask her to do something. I didn’t even have to threaten discipline, much less actually follow through on any threats. She acted better than I’ve ever seen her act in that length of time.

(She’s pretty obedient in 30 second increments.)

Of course, the second we got in the van? She started whining, and when we got home? She pitched a fit. And before she went to sleep? She yelled at me and threw a toy at my head. And then growled, “I’m so frustrated!” My evil daughter was back. Oh, how I missed her so.

Do your children do that? Is there a split-personality trend amongst toddlers that I should be aware of? How can I get that sweet obedient girl back? And where do I send the evil one as an exchange?

NikkiZ is putting Scout to Bed
Very sweetly tucking Scout into bed

17 thoughts on “The Good Daughter”

  1. Pitter can definitely be like that–he absolutely SHINES in public and in new situations with pretty decent manners and sweet curiosity. And then when he’s back on his own turff, the REAL boy emerges. And he’s throwing magnets off the fridge or tossing puzzle pieces at my head when he’s “angry.”
    Toddlers are bi-polar. That’s all I’ve got.

  2. Almost died of ‘the cute’.

    Mine always did that. Mine still do that. People are constantly telling me how great my kids are, how respectful, how responsible. It’s hard to hold in the laughter (and tears) when that happens.

  3. I’m sorry did I leave my evil toddler at your house by mistake? Yeah, mine is awesome at preschool unless I am there. She is EVIL when tired or at bedtime. She doesn’t transition well at all. I asked my girlfriend (another therapist) what she thought that meant she said, “she is 4 and she is very good at it.” I think we are stuck with this for a while. Shall I send alcohol?

  4. My sister is quite a bit younger than me, and she’s always been like that. Evil kineval to my mom (dad and the rest of the family included), but sweet as can be and delightful to everyone else.
    I think it is her just releasing those feelings where she is completely comfortable and unconditionally loved.
    Take it as a compliment (though why do moms always get the raw end of the deal?)

  5. Aaah, I can let the developmental psycholgist in me run free here… you can actually be proud that she’s such a madam at home. It means she feels secure and certain that you love her unconditionally. With other people, she’s not so sure and so is certain to be on her best behaviour. I guess, therefore, the only solution to your problem would be to try and convince her that you hate her… ;o)

  6. You have just described my 4 yr old daughter to a “T”. What is the deal??? I have a 6 yr old son and although we do have our issues with “grumpiness”, it doesn’t compare to the diva that is my daughter…. Lord help me…

  7. My kids are like that and they are older. Their teachers will rave over what wonderful kids they are but when they come home, they remove their halos from their horns and turn on me.

    Oh and it’s worse with girls I think. My daughter and I have battles way worse than I do with the boys.

  8. The good news is that is normal. The bad news is there is no way to control the transformation. The worst news is it doesn’t always stop with toddlers!

  9. My son is 5 but he is the same way. If I am around he is a mean jerk. But when he is alone with my husband or at school or anywhere he is as nice as can be. Must have something to do with me.

  10. Scout and Lil’bug were/are both good as gold at daycare, but when I arrived would pitch horrific fits as soon as something was not quite as they expected and then it would be downhill from there. Their teachers would look at me like ‘what just happened?’ and ‘who is that child?’

    I honestly think they put so much time and energy into behaving outside and away from me that they get to the point that they have nothing left by the time I got there for pick up. Once I was there they knew they were in their ‘safe place’ and they let go.

    Those pics are sooo cute!

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