September 16, 2008
Preface/Sidenote: I’m extremely fascinated by your descriptions of the tools in your kitchen, please keep them up! Although, I’m suddenly realizing exactly how little I know about kitchen appliances and tools. Like, a Dutch oven? A pressure cooker? An immersion blender? What are those things? And you people with your mortars and pestles? REALLY? Wow. Please don’t ever talk to my husband. I think he’s still relatively oblivious to how little I do to prepare meals compared to the rest of the world.
Now – back to the regularly scheduled entry…
Things I’ve Been Thinking About Lately That You Are More Than Welcome To Discuss
- Why is it that – if you’re having a really good day – one negative experience can ruin it? But – it doesn’t work the other way around? That if you’re having a really crappy day – it takes waaay more than one nice encounter to change the direction?
- Is it pretty safe to assume that it’s never too late to send a Thank You card? Do people get more offended if it’s late than not at all? I don’t get offended either way, but I’m kinda forgiving when it comes to etiquette. Do most people not care if it’s late? And what defines “late”?
- Is it wrong of me to keep from learning how to do/use certain things just because I like asking LilZ for help? Like with iTunes, and MySpace, and my damn cell phone. I’m kinda resistant to actually learn how to use those things myself because I like getting his help. Is that cheating?
- Why – 5+ years after I quit smoking – do I still periodically hear a voice in my head that says, “A cigarette would be nice right now…” (Don’t worry to any family members reading this! I won’t do it!) I mean, is that part of my brain defective? Will that voice always be there? No matter how often I tell it to shut the hell up?
- Is it wrong of me that I get sad when my daughter starts saying thing correctly? I liked that she called MrZ’s Dad “DamPaw” for a long time. It saddens me to hear her say, “Grandpa” now. I actually still refer to him as “DamPaw” – partly because I want the name to stick! It’s so cute! Kinda like how I was sad when LilZ finally said “Seven-Up” instead of “Soap-n-up”.
Never too late to send a thank you.
That voice will always be there. I quite over ten years ago and the voice still speaks a couple times a year.
How make a crappy day better…a nap. Works every time.
No, it is not wrong to be sad when the kids start speaking correctly. My son always called my mother-in-law “tissy memaw”, because she was the grandma (memaw) that asked for tissys (kisses). To this day (he is 6′2″ and 15 years old), we refer to her as Kissy Grandma. Nowadays there are so many grandmas, what with step and half relatives, it’s our way of keeping track of which grandma we mean. He just calls her grandma now, but every once in a while he’ll slip–probably for my benefit. And we still call the remote a “temote”. We’ve got a million of ‘em.
I’ll do you one better on the smoking question. I’ve been a non-smoker since 1991, and recently hear that voice for the 1st time in 15 years.
I don’t know why it started up, but it’s been happening with some frequency over the past 4 months or so.
I’m also having a number of dreams in which I’m smoking. That hasn’t happened for a while either.
Weird.
I still say “A.B. & W” for A&W and “Obee-domos” for McDonalds, even though the girl who coined the phrases is 17 in a couple of weeks (& also, can you tell we ate out a lot when she was little?).
I think Grandpa should always be Dampaw for the rest of time.
Never too late to send a thank-you! I love getting sweet little notes. It’s so rare to get anything other than bills in the mail!
Re: smoking: my mom has been off smoking since 2001 and that voice still talks to her; in fact, it’s difficult for her to leave the grocery without stopping at that counter, so strongly ingrained was the habit. But she’s stayed tough so far, and I know you will too!
Smoking – I quit completely (after cutting back a lot a year before) when I got pregnant last year. I hate that I still could pick one up. I hope that some day the urge leaves me but I smoked for a lot of years.
Thank yous – better late than never, right?
And for me, it depends on how good the good thing is if it can turn around my day or not. Winning the lottery? That is one good thing that would do it (I never play but maybe I’ll find the winning ticket in a parking lot, right?). Someone holding the door for me? Might not be enough.
And I see your sidebar says there isn’t going to be a Nashville BlogHer? Is that true?
I like my mortar/pestle because it is easier than digging out a grinder, assembling it, plugging it in, then tearing it apart, then washing it, then letting it dry. I even use it to chop/crush handful of nuts when cooking. So easy.
Overall, I love being a non-smoker and relish not feeling the pull of needing a smoke. However, periodically, I hear the Smoking Voice, too. It is precisely why I will never, EVER have another cigarette. It would be too easy to get sucked back in.
I will be very sad when my kids learn how to say their Ls. They BOTH say “pwease” and it kills me. I also love it when Arun says AnjaWEE and he calls me Kewee Bewee (Kelli Belly)
I think it is never too late to send a thank you. Really, I love getting a hand-written note at any time. I always have, since I was a kid.
I really love my blender (smoothies! milkshakes!) and my rolling pin. I guess the rolling pin makes me kind of weird, but I love homemade pie crusts and homemade pizza dough.
Also? My 2 year old son refuses to call my mother “Grammy”. Generally, he calls her “THAT” and I think she and I both love it.
Mine didn’t have a pronunciation problem when they were young, so I didn’t get too much of the cute phase to remember. My memories sort of start with when my youngest said, “Frankly, you’re not making any sense. Would you please explain your thinking to me?” That first happened when she was two and I was trying to get her to either eat asparagus or go to bed. I forget which.
I totally saw a commercial about smoking and basically how you have to retrain your brain to do life differently then when you were smoking. I remarked how true it was because the hardest part about quitting for me was smoking while driving.
and watching tv. damn commercial started a craving.
I quit smoking so long ago.. and still have moments when my brain says a cigarette would help. I guess it may never go away.
Never to late to say Thanks.
And I say use whatever bonding experience you can with Z…he is fast approaching the silent teen years and you will have excuses to communicate!
And my youngest granddaughter will always hear about “hairport” and “hairplane”… just like her mama still hears about “Key tettle”. Those moments re just to precious to forget.
oy. i hear you on the smoking thing. i’ve been smoke free for several years, but every once in a while, i’ll order coffee after dinner in a restaurant, and my fingers seem to “hunt” for a smoke.
no nashville blogher? come to the dc one and we’ll hang! for real.
I’d say it’s never too late to send a Thank You, but I’m totally one of those types that keeps track of how long it took someone to send one. We went to a wedding last October and have yet to see a Thank You from the couple. Yet we got a Christmas card from them! Strange.
Oh and the day my niece said, “Yellow” instead of “Lellow” was one of my saddest days ever!
I have seen where studies have shown that for every negative statement, it takes 9 positive statements to make up for it. Maybe that’s the same thing behind what you mentioned.
I don’t think it ever gets to late to send a thank you card.
Oh I hear you on the smoking thing. I didn’t quit quite as long ago as you did, but I was only ever a light smoker. I still feel the urge, sometimes. Like after a nice meal, or when traffic pisses me off. Or even when I’m just bored! It totally freaks me out to think of how addicted I really was, even though I never thought I was.
I actually sneaked a smoke a few months after I quit, and it was so not worth it. It tasted like ass and didn’t even make my fingers tingly. So I guess that’s reassuring?
on the making lilz help you with stuff like your cellphone…it drives me crazy that my momma does this. I don’t live at home anymore, so whenever i’m home she wants me to load cds into my dad’s laptop so she can have new songs on her ipod. despite the fact my dad and my sister who live there know how. and she told me that she’s just not very good at “dragging and dropping.” love her, love her, love her, but it’s ridiculous. though i will always help if she asks me.
on the other hand, she texted me for my birthday last year and it was the cutest thing ever. it was pretty brief, and she told me it took her almost fifteen minutes to type…
The Bear used to call bathing suits “Baby Suits.” I still do…and she just rolls her eyes. Already. At seven.
My family still calls me what my cousin used to call me because she couldn’t say my name right….it never goes away.
If it helps any… I have never smoked a cigarette. Never even tried one. I’ve seen family and friends smoke a lot – especially when they feel stressed.
And yet, despite my lifetime non-smoker states, sometimes a little voice in my head says, “Man, I could use a cigarette.”
Blah. That was meant to be status, not states.
It is never too late to send a thank you.
The only way I can make crappy day better with one action is to do something nice for someone. It’s not always easy to find someone that will allow you to do something nice though.
With regards to LilZ, I would just ask him if he minds helping. If he doesn’t mind, then you’re good to go.
As for the smoking thing – no, you’re not broken. My dad quit smoking almost 8 years ago, and he still will randomly say, “I need a cigarette.” It happens. It’s just something that was a huge part of your life, and it will always be there in the background. Much like an alcoholic and his alcohol.
It’s never too late to send a thank you note. I found a thank you note from my wedding tucked away in a bag somewhere. I felt awful about it and put it in a bigger envelope with a little note explaining, and the friend wrote me the most glowing letter back!
As for asking LilZ for help, go for it! That’s what kids are there for, to help parents with electronic thingamajiggies. And also to fetch beer.
I’m sorry about the smoking thing, but I think you’re destined to fighting the occasional cravings for pretty much ever. Maybe I’m not the best source, since I’ve never been a smoker. But my dad quit about 21 years ago, and he says to this day sometimes he’ll catch a whiff of smoke and get the urge to start up again. On the plus side, he quit cold turkey (3 packs a DAY!!!) and though he says he was sorely tempted to kill people the first two weeks, he’s not smoked even so much as a single cigarette since then.
re: smoking. I have the same thing. I quit more than ten years ago. And I wasn’t a heavy smoker. I was a high school smoker and it took me several days to get through a pack. But now, I have this itch every once in a while to have a smoke. I overcome it by thinking about the $$ needed to buy the smokes (the same reason I don’t drink a lot). It is strange, but you are not alone!
I know what you mean about smoking. I finally quit 4ish years ago when I could no longer find a brand that didn’t make my stomach hurt (HELLO!) Once I finally got through the initial rough patch, it was so nice to not have to deal with stinky fingers and smelly clothes. But even now when I’m sitting on the back patio enjoying a beer, I always think, “man, a cigarette would be so nice right now.” Even though I know it’s just gonna make me feel like poo!
I understand. I get sad too when my 4 year old starts saying things correctly too. He used to say mineow for meow. And recently he was saying “In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Speramint”. I keep telling him to stop growing up!
For your first question, I think there have been psychological studies about that kind of thing. I don’t know how much money and research time it took to tell people that it only takes something small to make you feel bad and something really good to make you feel good. I mean, you could have told them that for free! Although I think they put some fancier words on it and tried to quantify it.
For your last question, I think it makes sense to mourn the loss of NikkiZ’s baby-ness. I would. I will, if my daughter ever gets around to talking, I’m sure!
My son called Parmesan cheese Farmer John cheese. I loved it! I still call it that today.
hehe, someone said they have a Dutch Oven?
…and what will it take to get over a really crappy month? year?
It’s never too late to send a thank you note.
I think LilZ probably likes knowing something you don’t and being able to help. As he gets older there will be more and more that he’ll know that you won’t. Just be glad if he’s not constantly letting you know that he already knows it all!
Cherish the babyness as long as it’s there. Be proud of her big-kid accomplishments when they occur and in the not so distant future she’ll be helping you with your iTunes, MySpace, and cell phone.