I’ve Got A Theory…
First things FIRST! Don’t forget to keep voting for my recipe over at the Casserole Challenge site! Several of you reminded me to remind YOU that you can vote once a day! And today seemed like a GREAT day to remind you to VOTE VOTE VOTE! And if you don’t like mine the best, I understand, but you should vote for the one you DO like the best EVERY DAY! Now…on to the part where I beg for your input on an issue with my child because it takes a village, remember?
We all agreed on one thing this morning: The time changes ROCKS. (Yes, I’m aware I’m the minority with this view.) It is so much easier to get up and moving to leave the house by 6:20am if the sun is UP. Even though logically we know the rest of the world is sleeping, it’s easier to delude ourselves into thinking it’s a normal time to leave the house if the sun is already up. And on the flip side? It will make me feel much better about going to bed at 8pm if it has been dark for awhile already. I won’t feel like such a loser.
However…it won’t matter as I probably won’t be sleeping again. Because AndyZ has adopted some sort of weird behavior the last few nights and it is up to YOU to explain it to me.
For the last three nights, he will not sleep unless he is nursing. As in, if he wakes up and the boob is NOT in his mouth, he cries. During the day? He’ll take a pacifier. At night? He wants to nurse. Since he was eating a lot, I thought this was a growth spurt. But – his appetite hasn’t increased during the day. Can he be going through a growth spurt just at night? The pacifier, which pacifies him during the day, only pisses him off at night. I try to fool him by slipping it in as I remove the boob (is this TMI?) but he is having none of that. He’s no dummy! There’s no milk in that thing? GET IT OUT OF HIS MOUTH.
Three nights we’ve been doing this. I think tonight I’m going to test out a theory by putting him in his crib for a change. Instead of in our bed. Now – I need my sleep. If he wakes up just as often and can still only be soothed by nursing, then it will be back to bed with us. But – I’m suspicious that my presence so close to him is doing something in his subconscious, making him think he wants to nurse when he really doesn’t. Like, maybe my smell is confusing him in his sleep? Is this a good theory or is my exhaustion making me stupid?
Any bets on whether or not this will work? Whether he’ll still waking up consistently wanting to nurse? Or will I actually get to sleep for more than an hour at a time?
Here’s my theory. He knows he can get away with it at night. During the day, he gets to nurse, he gets a bottle, and he gets the pacifier. At night, he knows he can nurse and that is what he wants. It may be he smells the milk or it may be he just loves the closeness that nursing brings.
I would try him in the crib. If you aren’t getting anymore sleep, move him back with you. This parenting thing is all trial and error if you ask me.
Given his age, it’s really likely that he needs to eat a ton before sleeping so he can stay asleep (i.e. not wake up because he is starving) as long as he needs to. I’d say do it–it won’t last forever, and likely gives you more sleep time yourself.
I say try the crib, and if that doesn’t help, just grin and bear it and know that this too shall pass!
I agree with #2. He looks like a big boy, maybe he needs a slop-bottle before bed. Good luck, we’ll send you prayers and good thoughts.
i think your theory is strong…. mom’s right there, i might as well have a snack!!
i’d try the bottle and the crib.
and maybe some earplugs for the whole family. =/
(roll tide roll!)
My #4 is this way too. It comes and goes…around 6 months he did this for a while and then stopped. Now he is almost one and is back to wanting to nurse at night and the pacifier (which he takes happily during the day) sends him into a full on tantrum at night.
It is probably just because he wants the closeness with you. At night he knows he gets you all to himself. Babies are smart little things. Evan always starts in the crib, but by 12:00 he is back in bed with us. Right now I seem to be getting enough sleep….
I’m no expert but you’ve totally convinced me.
I think your theory makes sense, but if trying the crib doesn’t do it then maybe he is just waking up hungry. Have you turned on your heater yet? I know I’ve been waking up freezing lately at night – could he just be colder at night and the nursing helps him warm up? Either way I hope you get it worked out so you can all get some sleep! Oh, and I agree about the time change – I was ready for it. It’s easier to convince myself to stay home and cook in the evenings when it’s already dark – when it stays light later I want to go run errands and we end up grabbing dinner while we’re out.
(By the way, am I the only person who read the title and then my brain filled in ” . . . it could be bunnies”? Now I have that song stuck in my head!)
Both of my kids went through periods where they would nurse ALL night long. I always wrote it off as growth spurt/teething/just plain hunger pains and tried to go with the flow.
I think you’ve got something with your theory. I once babysat this one kid that his mom SWORE would not eat baby food, even though he was of age to do so. Well, the bottle wasn’t filling him up, but I tried a jar one day and he scarfed those strained peas down. His mom tried to feed him, and he rejected it. He was no dummy…mom had the good stuff, and he wasn’t about to replace boobs with peas! I could feed him baby food, dad could do it, but he wasn’t about to let mom hold out!
My daughter is one week younger than AndyZ. It was like you wrote this post for me. We have been dealing with this constant eating at night, normal eating during the day, for over a week now. I thought it was a growth spurt too, but it’s seems to be lasting forever! We have been co-sleeping, but I tried the crib out this weekend because I too thought maybe it was being next to me that made her hungry. Saturday went okay — woke up a few times — I nursed her and she went to sleep fine, but last night after midnight, she was not having the crib. I relented and brought her back to bed with me so that I could get some sleep. We’ll try the crib again tonight. I’ll be waiting to see how this works for you. I’m a first time mom, so I keep holding on to the fact that one of these days I will get a full night’s sleep, right?
Has he just learned a new skill? Crawling, pulling up, grabbing things, feeding himself, etc? It’s scary to learn new things, and see the world in a new way. Sometimes, babies just need a little extra comfort during these times. It’s hard sometimes to give up sleep to provide it, but the need is real. You’re lucky that you can so easily meet the need by nursing. Imagine the work if you had to get up and walk or rock and sing!
Could he not like the pacifier you are using? R hated the pacifier we used at first, we just kept switching up until we found one he does like. Could that be it? R hated the Avent, but loves LOVES the Soothie (big green ones) brand. Strange kid. Just a thought….
It may be time for the crib. He may be seeing how far he can push ya!
It could be the smell.
Or he just wants his mom.
I’m guessing teething. My daughter is one week younger than AndyZ and this weekend was NOT fun. I slept maybe 2 hours Sat. night and maybe four last night. Interrupted sleep of course.
She drools ALL day long and tries to bite anything within 6 inches of her face. About a month ago I moved her crib into our room and I have put her in there for the beginning of night time sleep. We try to have her in the crib no later than 8:30pm. She’s up around 1am or so wanting to eat, so I bring her to bed with us and she stays there until we all get up in the morning. During that time she’ll nurse twice usually. However Sat. night it was 4-5 times at least. I guess it was just for the comfort of doing so.
Anyway, I feel your pain and exhaustion. I just keep saying “it’s a phase, it’s a phase” and know that one day I might finally get some decent sleep.
I went through the same thing with my youngest. He wanted me as a pacifier at night and even though he slept in a crib. I would get up, nurse him and put him back but if I dozed off with him in my arms and got up to put him back, back in the chair I’d be. Unfortunately he wouldn’t take a bottle for me or Hubby. I’d try the bottle and have MrZ give it to him. Maybe if he realizes Mom isn’t available, he’ll sleep more.
In your unique situation I can understand you liking the time change. But my child was up at 5:15 and I don’t have to be out the door at 6am so I wasn’t amused.
And your theory makes some sense. If you have a boob that close, why not have it in your mouth? (If you are a nursing baby…I’m not advocating that husbands begin this line of thought. Unless that is your goal. Ok I am going to stop talking now.)
Dude. I’m with you. I’m Pro-Timechange.
No time to read comments, but when I went from co-sleeping to the crib, in 3 nights I went from up 3 times to nurse (at least), to only once.
I would give it three nights instead of just one. It takes awhile to get used to the crib.
Also, make sure there is absolutely no light in the room, if you can help it. I think M.P. would wake up, see that there was nothing to entertain her, and go back to sleep.
Good luck!
From what I know (admittedly, not much!) I would say go with it for awhile. It’s definitely possible that he does need to eat that much at night. Of course, it’s also possible it could be because you are right there. That’s why we co-slept, though. You don’t even really have to wake up all the way to put a boob in his mouth.
Your theory sounds good, but then I don’t know squat. So, I’ll just wish you luck
It’s worth a try. Here’s hoping you get some sleep tonight.
P.S. The sun makes a world of difference as far as motivation goes. I’m always in a better mood when it is sunny. The time change doesn’t help me though because it is still dark when I leave the house in the morning.
I’m not loving the time change, although I can see why you would. We don’t have to be out the door as early as your family, so the whole getting up at 5:15 is not working for us! As for the sleep-nursing thing, Halle went through that too. I found that if she was in my bed, she wanted to be attached. A few nights in her crib and her nighttiume nursings went down in significant number. Give it a try for a few nights, it can’t hurt!
I wrote a paragraph saying the exact same thing before I clicked over to your blog! Is it sad that the only reason I made it to 8:30 last night was because Amazing race was on?
Miss Zott: Please remind your readers that they can vote once a day for your Velveeta Recipe.
I agree, I had to move my daughter out of our bed for the same reason. She slept much better in her crib, after she got used to it. And I just had to move our son out of our room because he could “smell” and hear us coming into bed and he has stopped waking up 3 times, down to once.
This was mainly the reason I stopped breast feeding. I only did it for a week but that whole week, if Meghan wasn’t nursing, then she wouldn’t sleep and when I tried to lay her back down in her moses basket, she would wake up again. It wasn’t a good week and she seemed to be fine to go to sleep with a bottle and then a dummy once I switched over.
One of my kids did this, too. And I put up with it as long as I could, but it was KILLING my back and hips to have to sleep on my side (either one) all night with my back slightly arched so my boob could be in his mouth.
My son would fall asleep with my boob in his mouth and I would try to scoot away (just a few inches) to lay on my back or belly to get some relief; just when I’d decide I was comfortable and settle in, he’d wake up and wail. I’d go back to nursing him, which he’d do for a few minutes until he drifted off again. And it wasn’t a vigorous nurse – it was total comfort sucking. Then – repeat cycle.
I was really in agony, so I tried him in his crib. I’d still nurse heavily at bedtime, and get up with him whenever, but my body couldn’t take it anymore. And it worked! He’d usually wake up at least once or twice during the night and be restless for a minute or two, and my husband and I would lay there in the dark, listening on the monitor and holding our breaths praying he’d go back to sleep, but without me there he didn’t really want to nurse. I always speculated it was my smell that set him off.
I never gave him a pacifier, but he was happy with his fist in his mouth.
I did miss having him in bed with me… a bit. But the bigger picture is that I’m a much better mother to all my children when I’m well rested and my body isn’t aching all the time. And this didn’t spell the end of breast feeding – I continued for another year after this.
I really have no idea, but my daughter did this. It continued. Until now. Shes 15 months old. I suggest you don’t do what I did, which is nothing.
Bah. Sleep.
Is he eating well during the day? My son, the stinker, wouldn’t eat much during the day at daycare, and then wanted to eat all night.
Could be reverse cycling too. He eats more at night from the boob because he doesn’t want as much during the day from the bottle.
Emmie hit her peak of god-awful round-the-clock nursing around six months I think. She was in our bed more than she was out. But she’s finally waking up only once at 5 a.m. now. Then back to sleep until 7.
1) I THINK THE TIME CHANGE SUCKED. My child was up and rearing to go at 4:30. Even the animals were pissed off at him.
2) One of the early commenters took my advice: feed the hell outta the boy and then put him down in his crib. I’m talking cereal AND milk and possibly donuts.
I think your theory is probably right. . . he knows the milk supply is right there. Not to mention it probably comforts him into sleeping better.
I’m with you on the time change… Except for the lost hour of sleep in the spring, I like that it’s darker longer in the morning and lighter longer in the evening. In the fall I love the extra hour of sleep and that the mornings are lighter earlier. I have a hard time getting up when it’s dark out. I also like that it’s darker earlier, giving the kids the cue that it’s time to go to bed. What I didn’t like was Lil’bug wanting to wake up at 5:00 am instead of 6:00 am.
Both my kids had me up at all hours of the night. I was a wreck by the time they turned two. I don’t remember what I did to get them to stop waking up, they might have just outgrown it.
I went through this with my son. No advise, but it does go away.
some kid is dreaming and we’re all trapped in side is wacky broadway nightmare (jazz hands)
A little TMI!
However after Sunday I’ll let you off. There are two Mum’s in my friendship group who are breastfeeding at present (one has a 10wk boy and the other has a 7 month girl). One is nice enough to give warning that she’s about to feed so I can overt my eyes or look elsewhere. The other on the hand just sat there popped it out and then apologised! I had been sat at my friends dining room table finishing stuff off for my talk so it wasn’t like there no warning that I was there!
P.s. ok that came out like I have a problem with it – I really don’t I think it’s natural to do for the first 6 months – year (or whenever you decide to stop). Just warning is appreciated!
I’d try it since my kid sleeps much better when I’m not around but do the math to see how many weeks old he is and read the Wonder Weeks website. Scroll down to the part with the weeks chart for the visual.
http://www.livingcontrolsystems.com/wonder_weeks/content_ww.html
If you find it’s more trouble for you to get up a million times than it is to co-sleep try again when you hit a sunshiney week.
Okay, Brit officially cracks me up.
And I’m going to (maybe) test this theory tonight myself. Because I think Evie does the same thing. The only thing is, she doesn’t wake up too often (two or three times the whole night). But.. the change has to happen SOMETIME. And Kile is getting antsy to get her into her room.
I know in my situation, we had to start weaning our youngest from our bed for this reason. She would smell me at night and want to nurse after a full feed. I was so sad when she slept better on her own but at the same time enjoyed catching up on some sleep!
It’s worth a shot. Out of smell range = out of mind…or something like that.
My theory is that he’s making up for time lost during the day – he’s probably just getting by at daycare, knowing he can fill the hump overnight.
Hello. I don’t really have any tips about the baby at night thing, but I definately do agree with you about the time change. I hate getting up when it’s dark and now that it isn’t I find it much easier to get up. It also helped me because lately I haven’t been able to go to sleep early, but with the time change I am going to bed at a somewhat decent time.
What a little brat! No, seriously – you’re probably right about the subconscious boob yearning thing. It will be an interesting experiment, made more so by the fact hat I can sleep soundly whilst YOU perform the experiment. But you’re probably right, and it might be a combo of him waking up hungry and having mom right there beside him. Do what I do to avoid midnight hunger pangs: feed him a pizza before bed.
I’m with Brit! I was going to write the same thing, but saw hers on the way down! It could be bunnies.
I agree with Melanie, I think they can smell us as night and as long as the dairy queen is around– they figure it much be open for business. My son is 9 months and I wake up twice at night to feed him. I seem to still get enough sleep but then again, I may just be getting used to being delirious…
Hmmm, the only way my kid will fall asleep if she isn’t in her swing is to be nursed so I don’t think I’m any help, but I’d try the crib and see how it goes.