Automatic Smile Inducer

I took both kids to the doctor today. AndyZ because he was running a fever (turned out to be an ear infection) and NikkiZ because she needed a note to go back to school since she’s had a few instances of diarrhea in the last week. On the way back from the doctor, I called two people at work to explain that I got her note, I was taking her to school, and I’d be in shortly. After I got off the phone, NikkiZ took the doctor’s note while we were driving and put it to her ear like it was a phone. These are the two “calls” she made:

Jenni? It’s NikkiZ. Pause for response on the other end of the line
I just went to the doctor. Pause.
I have diarrhea. Pause.
I didn’t know either, but I have a coupon so it’s okay and I can go back to school.
*********
Steve? It’s NikkiZ. Pause.
I have diarrhea. Pause.
No, DIARRHEA. Steve evidently didn’t hear her the first time.
Yeah. Pause.
I got a coupon from the doctor so I can go back to school. Pause.

I have no idea why she was calling the note a coupon, and I don’t know why she wanted to call my boss and coworker to tell them about her diarrhea, but it was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. If there has been one moment in her life I wish I could rewind to record later? That would be it. Best Fake Phone Call Award…HANDS DOWN.

24 thoughts on “Automatic Smile Inducer”

  1. Those phone calls made me giggle after a very stressful day of working for oh, about 14 hours now. (I intersperse blog reading with working so I don’t lose my mind).

    Is intersperse a word?

  2. OMG – DYING over here! (esp after reading the top post – more hugs) Espcially when she repeats to Steve that she has Diarreah. that’s comedic GOLD right there.

  3. I LOVE Toddler Fake Phone Calls. Even better than Real Ones.

    I am really sorry about Cisco. I have lost lots of pets over the years and each one hurts. I feel ya, sister.

  4. This is the best thing I’ve ever read. Seriously.

    And, I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave work today, because I’m sniffly and I do not have a coupon that says I can be here.

  5. That, as we say in my house, is some funny shit.

    Between NikkiZ’s phone call and LilZ calling books his “new crack,” you’ve got some funny kids. It makes the sleepless nights and the being thrown up on all worth it, doesn’t it?

  6. That is hilarious. Reminds me of my baby brother, who on his 3rd Christmas went around hugging everyone after opening each gift and saying, “Thank you, it’s JUST what I needed!” What?

  7. Hilarious! Yesterday Jack recited a conversation on his (non-working) cell phone that I had with my mom the day before about returning his snowpants and not having the receipt. Funny, but also made me realize I can no longer talk freely in front of him on the phone about people because he could tell them what I say!

  8. That is flippin’ hilarioius. Love the tone and the pauses and how she yelled diarrhea when “Steve” didn’t hear it the first time.

    Cat – my cousin’s child did that one Christmas. He got a BBQ set and loudly exclaimd while shaking “I have always wanted that. How did you know?” Meanwhile, he had no idea what the heck it was.

  9. Completely awesome! That child is hilarious. My son is not much younger than she and I just cannot imagine him having the same depth to a “fake” conversation.

    Thanks for sharing. Loved it!

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